'Twas The Night Before Berserker Day

‘Twas the Night before B-Day

‘Twas the night before B-Day, when all through the house,
I quietly tiptoed around like a mouse;
Retrieving the C-notes I’d hidden with cheer,
Because Wine Berserker Day soon would be here;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With nary a clue of the financial dread;
Their college funds emptied, allowances slashed,
The mortgage refinanced to pull out some cash;

Embracing the dough, I fell into a dream;
The kind where you know things are not what they seem;
It started out weird and was prob’ly illegal;
I’d stolen a chopper bound for Screaming Eagle!

The moon turned to morn as I sat down the bird,
Got ready to log in and type the password;
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a middle-aged man drinking Zin from Fred Scherrer,

With a thick head of hair that’s receding a pinch,
I knew in a moment he must be Todd French.
More rapid the offers and auctions he posted,
And he whistled, and shouted, and practically boasted:

“Now Simpson! McIsaac! K0rz€nk0 and Shurman!
Get used to the smell of your credit cards burnin’!
Grand Cru Crü and lurkers, heed my siren call:
Berserk away! I say, Berserk away all!”

As soon as Todd spoke in his sonorous voice,
I knew I was faced with a Faustian choice:
Jump headlong into the Berserker abyss,
Or maintain the prospect of marital bliss?

What happened next, well, I cannot really say,
Except that I got rather carried away;
The Oregon Chard, NorCal reds near Eureka,
The caviar, ribeyes, and Spanish paprika;

Most everything seemed to be calling my name;
This reverie was a most dangerous game,
Because, although I am the king of my castle,
If I buy more stemware, my ass’ll be Grassl;

And then, in a twinkling, the whole thing was over;
The offers sold out, and the reck’ning drew closer;
I’d done pretty well, just a few things were missed;
But I need a good lawyer, ‘cause my wife is pissed!

The whirlybird ready, the dream nearly done,
I looked back at Todd and the red setting sun;
And I heard him exclaim as I flew out of sight,
“Happy B-Day to all, and to all a good night!”



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You Sir…have a serious talent with the rhyming of words.

Very clever and creative. Happy holidays.

Very well done!

Fantastic! Enjoy the holidays!

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Bravo! [worship.gif] [berserker.gif]

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I think you might need professional help. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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This is Hall of Fame good!



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Well done!

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Nicely done!

Might become most thanked post so far!


Fantastic, lol, Well Done, Sir, Well Done!


[winner.gif] [rofl.gif] [dance-clap.gif]

I’m waiting to see a bot thank someone.

Fantastic post! I laughed out loud at the ass is grassl line :slight_smile:

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Post of the year. [winner.gif]