17 Signs You're a Wine Snob (article by Chantal Martineau made into a poll)

WINE TALK
41

#18 is missing: the only wine club you belong to is Ghost Horse

42

I spend numerous hours on wine blogs weekly, constructively scrutinize others wine selections, and think about wine all the time (mailing lists, new stemware, should I purchase this wine or that). Many of us take this part of our life seriously and spend significant money annually building our cellars. To me being a wine snob means that wine is an important part of my life and I want to continually seek out more knowledge. Along with that we have “Rules” and “Rituals” that must be adhered to like holding your glass by the stem and swirling any liquid that happens to be in any glass. The habits that we have picked up bind us into a collective group of, well…wine snobs.

43

The only one I am truly guilty of is #12, swirling. I swirl my water and anything else in a glass. But I do consider myself a total wine dork. 1500+ bottles (way +!). I have been through all of the other idiosyncrasies but have settled into just a passive dork and am mellowing with time.
My family would probably fill this poll out differently than me though.

44

Hey now…

45

Not me. I often get white wines served at very cold fridge temp and use a bowl grip to warm them up.

46

That’s my exception. But then I end up holding the bowl with both hands cupped around it like I was carrying a baby bird or something.

47

Not nearly enough people are voting for #13; if you write TNs that specify particular flavors and aromas, then you should be checking that box.

48

clicking all 17 really sucks, is there an “all” button?

49

None of them apply to me.

50

wow, seriously, Noel??

51

I was 11 for 17 (ouch). I would have been 12, but i have’t made the trip to Burgundy yet and have tasted the dirt.

52

Ok, maybe #13, but I don’t think I’m too overboard on that one.

\

  1. You decant like a fiend. In fact, you think nothing of calling a restaurant a day ahead of your reservation to ask them to decant the bottle you intend to drink at a prescribed hour to give it time to breathe before your arrive. You have even requested they use a specific decanter that you feel does a better job than their lesser vessels.

I do decant, but not “like a fiend”. Old Bdx & Burg, I do not usually decant - rather, I let air in glass. Younger ones, I decant. Unless in JC de Terry’s restaurants when he personally takes care of my bottle(s), I never send my bottles ahead to any restaurant or let anyone else decant for me.

  1. Your dream house is about 17% wine cellar. In the meantime, while you’re still living in your cramped one-bedroom apartment in the city, you’ve resigned yourself to monthly energy bills of at least $300 so that you can run your four mini wine fridges continuously.

I could easily build a cellar in my existing house, but choose not to. I do not live in a “cramped one-bedroom apartment in the city”. My monthly electricity bills run from US$600 and up (electricity is comparatively more expensive in the Philippines).

  1. You not only insist on the correct stemware, but audibly cringe at the use of tumblers, generic wine glasses, goblets, cups and those god-awful stemless wine glasses that have somehow weaseled their way into polite society.

For meals with wine, I go to restaurants that I know have acceptable stemware. That said, I do not demand any particular “high-end” brand. For so long as they are decent, that’s fine with me.

  1. When a fellow dining companion grips his or her glass at the bowl instead of the stem, leaving grubby little fingerprints all over it and perceptibly raising the wine’s temperature a half-degree from ideal, you gasp. Occasionally, such a transgression will cause you to have to excuse yourself to collect yourself in the ladies’/men’s room.

I don’t really pay attention to how or what my dining companions drink. Whatever rocks their boat is fine with me. I only mind if someone asks for or accepts a pour from me and they wind up wasting the wine.

  1. You take wine with you on the plane. But because of current regulations, you’re forced to carry a dozen 3-oz. bottles. Actually, this is a really smart way to travel and your non-wine snob friends should take note.

Whatever bottles of wine I take to or from a trip are packed in my luggage. Actually, i almost never bring any bottles outward from Manila; inward, yes, most always

  1. You know every good vintage of Burgundy, Bordeaux and Napa in recorded history. And everyone knows you know this because you take every remotely relevant opportunity to remind them. Remembering friends’ and family birthdays, however, is beyond you.

I only explain vintages’ relevance to my sons (so they learn); nobody else unless they ask. I’m pretty good at remembering family members’ birthdays and anniversaries; plus FB reminders help with everyone else.

  1. You don’t buy wine from bad years and you don’t understand wine geeks who find this to be a fun challenge.

I definitely buy vintages “professional reviewers” consider lackluster or even “bad”. I don’t go for anyone’s sweeping generalizations. I go by my own palate and am more than willing to “experiment” (which, to a great extent, is how I learned).

  1. You collect more wine than you drink.

No, I do not.

  1. You won’t collect anything below 94 points.

I, personally, pay no attention to anybody’s “points”. I am the one drinking from my glass; not anyone else.

  1. You prefer to collect bottles that are older than you are or at least would have reached puberty were they people.

Ok, that may, indeed, apply to me somewhat when it comes to Bdx, Burg, & Rioja reds; but not really when it comes to whites.

  1. On your last trip to wine country, you tasted the vineyard dirt, then quickly spat it out realizing this is more of a hippie wine geek thing to do.

Never did that. I do not even try tasting the grapes.

  1. You’ve developed a swirling tic. It causes you to swirl everything – coffee, water, empty air, your two-year-old niece.

Not at all.

  1. You can detect boysenberry, slate, coconut, honeysuckle, a hint of nutmeg, a soupçon of baby feet and just the echo of a whisper of puppy breath in a wine. All on the nose, of course. Don’t even get you started on the mid-palate.

Ok, as stated earlier, this may apply to me.

  1. You believe butterfly corkscrews, rabbits and other idiot-proof bottle-opening devices are harbingers of evil and that the only civilized way to uncork a bottle of wine is an old-fashioned sommelier’s corkscrew or, in the case of champagne, a saber.

Not at all.

  1. You won’t even touch screw-top wine. You’ve heard nasty rumors about wine being stored in boxes, but refuse to accept this as true.

Though I rarely ever (almost never) buy screw-capped wine, that doesn’t mean I do not drink them when offered a glass - especially NZ sauv blancs (several of which I like).

  1. If the wine list is delivered to someone else at your table and they don’t immediately pass it to you for you to make your inevitably wise and insightful selection, you are at very serious risk of having a conniption. If someone else actually orders the wine instead of you, they can expect you to utterly lose your shit and flip the table, Real Housewives of New Jersey–style.

Nope, but, then, when out and about at a meal with wine, i am almost always in the company of friends also into wine. When with my family, my father or brother regularly choose bottles themselves - no prob.

  1. Your annual wine budget is on par with your car payments. And you have absolutely no problem with that. (admin note: this has GOT to mean annual payments for wine compared with annual payments for car)

I do not buy cars on installment, so this doesn’t apply to me.

Best,

N

53

false.

I drank a $12 white from the Jura last night. I thought it was pretty enjoyable. We ventured out of our non-gated neighborhood after dinner in our 14 year old Mercury station wagon to get some Snickers Blizzards at DQ for the boys. We are snobby socialites and would never, ever drink a $200 Napa Cabernet. neener

I did insist on the proper stemware for the wine, but I likely got fingerprints on the bowl. [cheers.gif]

54

You still pop your corks to get to your wine? That is so 2012… [snort.gif]

55

What is this car payment crap. My wine annual budget is MUCH more than my car payment. It is not even close. See item 8.

56

While I certainly suffer from it I have a hard time understanding how an involuntary swirling tic ( #12) could be considered a sign of snobbery.

57

Perhaps it should be changed to ‘voluntary’

58

I dont own any fancy cars…but wine budget …lol I could have fancy cars if I wanted I suppose.

59

Lol. The baby bird image is spot on [welldone.gif]

60

Some of you complain about fingerprints (especially lotioned) on bowls. Even as a female, the most disgusting thing is lipstick prints on any sort of drinking accoutrement. I hate seeing (and cleaning) lipstick off my stemware and coffee cups.