Vague wine requests

Wine Pimps
21

oooooh, save me a bottle for when i come in next week! I couldn’t find it yesterday and you weren’t there! :wink:

22

“no added sulfites”

I always remind people that there used to be a great Memphis style BBQ joint on Lincold BLVD (now home of NC style Baby Blues) that had a flashing neon sign in the window proclaiming “No Added Fat” and ask them if they thought there was any fat in the 'Q…

23

Just ONE? Who doesn’t need to relax these days? I’ll put you down for a case… :wink:

24

Ya can’t blame a guy for trying!

25

I remember a customer coming in the Champagne room and asking, “Do you have baby salmon?” (he was looking for Billecart-Salmon… that was very cute). :slight_smile:

Also, had customers walk in asking for Cakedough Chardonnay, or , “I just came back from Italy and had this great red wine. Would you have that?”

Today was my favorite. A customer was in the liquor section and asked, “Do you have ‘Abstinence’ here?”
[rofl.gif]

26

There’s no good way to answer that :wink:

27

Veronica, when I used to run the wines at Antoine’s in NOLA a similar thing happened: The wine cellar there was about 150 feet long and one end had a wrought iron gate that guests could look into from a hallway connecting dining rooms. So, one day I am doing a little rearranging and two Grey Panthers come up to the gate and one of them says in a deep Southern drawl, “Lordy, Lordy, Lord, just look at all of that SIN in there!”.

To which I replied: “Well, you know, in First Timothy 5:23 the apostle Paul advised Timothy 'No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your frequent infirmities’…so I guess there’s a lot of God’s natural medicine in here, no?”

They were speechless.

28

The more apropros thing to pursue in the Champagne room is clearly sex, Chris Rock’s negative view on the possibility of having sex in the Champagne room notwithstanding.

29

How about the lady asking me for the Riesling that was “…under 12% abv, but still gets you there…”

[dontknow.gif]

30

My experience is that Moscato d’Asti at 6% ABV will get you there faster than anything…

31

WHERE THE HELL IS THERE??!!!

32

South of the navel and north of the knees…there’s a reason that Moscato d’Asti is called “the Panty Dropper”.

33

hmmmm. I always thought that was tequila.

[rolleyes.gif]

34

“I always thought that was tequila.”

If yer a fan of the vomit enhanced BJ, maybe. I find that the low alcohol but VERY drinkable stuff is safer and more fun…

35

I try not to be the one taking them out for their first drink…

[wow.gif]

36

“Do you have ‘Abstinence’ here?”

They were looking for Absinthe.

:slight_smile:

37

A Frizzante Rose from Austria was described to me as this yesterday…

38

I think that would probably work…

39

Mine would have to be . . . “What wine do you have that tastes the most like chocolate?”

40

Woman in her mid-to-late 70s: I’m looking for something for a gift, but I don’t know if it exists.

Me: That’s fine, let’s see what we can do. What are you looking for?

Woman: Well, I’m not sure it exists, but I think the person likes it.

Me: Yes?

Woman: White wine.

Me: Yes, that exists. Do you know what particular type of white wine it is?

Woman: I really don’t know much about wine. I only drink it occasionally, and when I do, it’s that pinot gregio (no, that’s not a typo - it’s what she said).

I could go on, but you get the drift.