I’ve never brought a secret bottle to a party and don’t think I ever would. Much as I love a nice glass of wine, the people are more important to me.
I have yet to go to a gathering where the lack of good wine ruined the evening for me.
For a big gathering of non wine lovers and people prone to 12-oz pours, I would bring something inexpensive that I’m happy to drink and take a pour off the top. Or just go with the flow and drink the Coors Light or water (they’re hardly distinguishable). No judgment from me if bringing a secret bottle to an event like this works better for you.
For a group of wine lovers too large for a single bottle to go around, I keep the bottle in hand and control the pours so that as many as possible get a taste. The one time I was at a large wine geek event and was offered a pour from a secret bottle, it felt a little creepy.
Edited to add: in large groups of wine lovers, when I bring a desirable bottle I do seek out my friends and those who I think would really appreciate a pour first. So there is some selectivity involved but it’s not in secret.
There are some different potential scenarios that to me, it’s not a ‘one size fits all’ situation. As wine lovers, we love to share our passion with others and hopefully give them a hint as to why we love what we drink.
On the other hand, if folks are apt to pour full glasses of whatever’s in front of them, I am less apt to just ‘leave a bottle out’. It’s happened often enough for me to but a bit gun shy for feat of not enough folks being able to get to try it.
Would I ‘hide’ a bottle and go to another room to drink it without offering it to ANYONE else at the party other than my significant other? Probably not but to each their own.
I love sharing great wine with as many people as possible because there are always flashes of discovery or epiphany moments. How many times have I heard “I typically don’t like chardonnay”? or “I didn’t know red wine could be this good”? But yeah, it’s easy to do from an abundance perspective. If I only have three Les Clos bottles left, they will be consumed with my wife at a special time and meal.
And it’s harder at larger gatherings without proper glass in particular; one of my pet peeves. I often offer to bring glassware to smaller dinner parties, but that can be a difficult conversation (re the lack of quality glassware) and can be seen as a little rude and off putting. So I now talk to the host about a fun game where we all taste the same wine in different glass styles. Or if it is a friend with proper glass, we blind taste and discuss
Paul, you’re getting the reactions I expected when I first read your post a few moments ago. Not everybody will do as you do and the ones who don’t will probably end up being more vocal about it.
I’m just like most of the others. If I bring a bottle to a dinner, I expect it will be drunk by others. I even expect I might not have a single sip of it. The host might decide to tuck it away. It’s been seen, it’s been done. So any bottle that comes with me to a party will be fully shared and I’m looking forward to sharing it. So I’m not in the secret bottle camp. Also, I wouldn’t want the hassle of the excuses and the sneaking away. So it’s a nay for me.
Obviously, I’ll always choose the bottle for the venue I’m going to. I don’t own enough Dujac Malconsorts to bring to everyone at every dinner. These bottles I keep for those special moments. But I’ll always bring something I’m happy to drink. Even if it’s not recognized by the other drinkers and even if it turns out others don’t like it “as much as they should”!
That being said, I’ve been a participant in some “barely legal schemes” at group dinners.
Montreal has a pretty extensive BYOB restaurant scene (it’s related to liquor licenses) and in some dinners with wine geeks and non-geeks, I know that the geeks congregate at one end of the table. I’ll sit at that end knowing the good stuff will happen there first.
In some dinners with specific friends, I know the special bottles will only show themselves towards the end of the evening. It’s because those bottles are known to be extremely shy; some would even say they exhibit borderline enochlophobia. I tend to stay late at those dinners.
In some family events, my FIL, not to name anybody, will open the good stuff prior to dinner when we’re a small bunch pinching in to help prepare dinner. I consider that retribution for our efforts. I will be there early and ready to help.
But, if you’re in my house and I invite you to grab something in the cellar, it’s fair game. If you’re allowed in my little paradise then you’ve got total control over what comes out of it (as long as it’s 1 bottle you hear! ONE).
So, I’m guilty of many questionable behaviors. Thus, I won’t cast that stone very far.
You do you, man. I don’t have an issue with that. But if you’re posting on this board, it’s open season. Be ready for whatever you invited in!
Keep posting and do it your way. But don’t expect us to always agree. Cheers !
My answer is simple for a bottle that is nicer than most of the crowd will appreciate. Open the bottle and pour myself a decent, but not excessive pour. I might drink it right away or I might put it aside to drink later. That way I at least get to check in on the bottle. If there was someone there in particular, I know would enjoy it. I make sure to point out the bottles presence to them. Then the rest of the bottle goes out and whatever happens happens. Simple solution.
I think that the truest form of generosity is what you share with those who can’t reciprocate, and without fanfare. But perhaps that’s my sanctimonious side showing.
Precisely the type of generosity I’m talking about. Which is why you never hear about it, unlike all the stories you see in this thread… Sharing something with someone who doesn’t care about it and has no interest in it isn’t a higher level of generosity.
That’s not how I’m reading the responses. Most of us get a kick out of sharing with people who do care and with turning people on to something new to them. Sarah said it best.
As to the “fanfare” - Sure, it’s unseemly to brag about one’s generosity. But most here are simply sharing what they do in response to a direct request from the OP. It’s not like they’re posting lists of trophy wines they bestowed on the hoi polloi.
It is interesting … to read the details of contents of the last 3 posts. Needless to say, each of them, has a valid point and it is hard not to disagree. That being said, how about my suggestion - please see the end of this post - just about my signature : :
It is the highest road to show your generosity is : sharing something ( which I understood that it would be, in your personal view, a special bottle - for example one of the top wine from B. Claire’s portfolio) with someone who doesn’t care about it and has no interest in it…
The lowest road, according to what I understood from reading this thread, is to treat the bottle, is a secret bottle to share it with my wife and not with someone’s else’s wife…
How about taking the middle road ?
Sharing the bottle within friends who know about wine !! !
some of my best wine moments have been sharing special bottles with people that are not accustomed to drinking such wines. The lightbulb moments and enthusiasm are always so much fun. We’d both have miss out if I had squirreled those bottles away for a more limited audience.
When in this scenario, I tend to bring a bunch of cool random things that I want to try, maybe just taste taste, but aren’t expensive, but are interesting. That way I don’t care if someone downs half of one. Good opportunity to get rid of some of those random bottles you really want to try but don’t want to commit an entire evening too–helps make some space in the cellar too!. If the host is a “wine person” and has a segregated area, I’m all for that and will bring a bottle for the inner circle too, and will have a conversation ahead of time about what level of wine to bring in order to match what they are doing.
!
