Am I the only one who goes to a thing like Thanksgiving, where, turns out, many many cans of cheap beer will be consumed before turkey and whisky after — and have a bottle of the good stuff (in this case a 2010 Bruno Clair Chambertin Clos de Beze) hidden away so that my wife and I can go sneak little nips of it beyond everyones watch?
Or better yet, buy a couple of cheap bottles (this year a base level 2022 Trimbach Riesling and a 2017 Bouchard Bourgogne rouge) to act as DECOYS while you and your wife spirit away to the guest room to which you are assigned — gotta, you know, ‘call mom to wish her a happy Thanksgiving’ or ‘ just had to get my medication’ or ‘my gosh I think I lost my Amex card, I just want to go look for it one more time’…
No, if I bring the bottle, I share the bottle with anyone who is interested, though I may try and control pour size so more people get to taste it. I would also just not bring a bottle I’d even think to bogart to that kind of event. I don’t need something fancy/expensive/rare every time I drink. The notion of “decoys” that I don’t want to drink myself, but would offer to others, is also not one I support. I’ve spent my wine lifetime building up knowledge of and access to very good wines that can please both me and most everone. In fact, one of my favorite things about our cellar is that it is full of ojectively excellent, totally delicious, food friendly, accessible wine that I am delighted to share and thrilled to drink myself.
Finally, people can surprise you sometimes. A few of my favorite wine experiences have come when I’ve shared something special with a person I didn’t expect would appreciate it, and that person’s eyes went wide…
“After inviting friends round for dinner, I often nip out to the kitchen for a nibble of my personal medium-rare wagyu, while everyone chows down on the Big Macs I purchased for us all”.
And that one time I deviate, the Wine Gods send me bad karma!
So after two parties this week where I supplied a lot of high-end wines, and after the night before, nobody in my family enjoyed a 1998 Pomerol except my sister, last night with the family again I brought a “secret” bottle of 1982 Trotanoy for me and my wonderful sis. Both of us also brought a bunch of very good wines for the hot sweaty masses to drink. And yes, our four boys love wine and drink like they got hollow legs! Well, the Wine Gods struck me! The Trotanoy was not a proper bottle, it had some heat damage. The wine was still tasty just not exceptional as it should be. After a glass, I put it in the mix for the masses!
It’s always tough to judge other people’s personal and family dynamics. That said, this whole charade seems very anti-social and unnecessary, as @Sarah_Kirschbaum noted. You couldn’t enjoy yourself drinking Trimbach and Bouchard for an evening, while enjoying the company of your companions?
My “secret bottle” was a 2019 Hudelot Noellat Bourgogne Rouge that I opened at the table and put out with the 2022 Caymus that people oohed and ahhed over.
Amusingly, this morning the BR, 2023 Lapierre Morgon, and Roederer 245 are empty while the Caymus is 75 percent full.
I wouldn’t secretly open anything and I wouldn’t open anything that I wouldn’t be ok with me having one sip of while everyone else chugs it.
I brought some good wine to Eileen’s family dinner. Three of the ladies oohed and aahed over the Santa Margarita Pinot Grigio one of them bought, but then were quite taken with the Goubard Bourgogne Blanc ‘Montavril’, thought it made a nice contrast.
If I pull the cork, everybody is welcome to a glass (if there’s enough), or at least a taste.
I rarely bring fine or great wine to big family dinners. On those occasions, family is first, food is second and why bring great wine if it’s going to play 3rd fiddle.
If there were a long history of an antagonistic relationship with the hosts ( in general, not just because they have different tastes in beverage) and an obligatory appearance at Thanksgiving, AND if I were obliged to bring wine, I’d just bring some Meiomi and let them enjoy it while not participating (there’s always a handy excuse: “getting over a cold”; “designated driver”; “on the advice of my attorneys”; “stipulations of the parole board”. ) Then I’d go back home and have what I like in peace after the event.
If I were obliged to host people who were rude AND liked that sort of stuff, again, give them what they want and do what you want after they leave. Luckily for me, at my stage in life I am not obliged to host disagreeable people.
If it’s simply a matter of people having different ( maybe less experienced?) tastes but who are otherwise nice and interesting, then no, I don’t hide the good stuff.
A case in point: we have been very kindly invited for years to my wife’s cousins for Thanksgiving. The cooking is stellar. The company is generous to a fault, welcoming and interesting. They drink Apothik and The Prisoner, along with beer and bourbon (good bourbon, though). We have offered to contribute to Thanksgiving with wine (as our pitching in, not as a horrible “teaching moment”) — and I’ve noticed in the last coupla years, there’s less and less mass market wine on the table. One couple now has developed an interest in wine and we feed that habit with a few extra goodies from my cellar every year. Rather than lecture them, I just ask them if they like what I bring, and answer whatever questions they have about it in a matter of fact and (I hope) not needlessly detailed way.
Anjelica Houston once said that she used to go to a lot of parties that Jack Nicholson used to throw at his house up on Mulholland Drive in the 1970’s. And at those parties Jack had “downstairs cocaine” — so so stuff for the guests and “upstairs cocaine” his secret stash of the super primo that he reserved for himself and whichever lady(s) he’d be intimate with that night.
If I’m going to an event where I’m drinking, I’m bringing great wines. If the average population aren’t wine drinkers I may bring different wines than I would to a wine event, but I’m always bringing wines I’m very happy to drink. Attending a work dinner next week and bringing 17 Lignier MSD 1er VV and 00 forts de latour, for example.
I see no harm in it as long as noone finds out who would be offended by it. It is kind of like having a little secret treat for yourselves during a big family event- an excuse to break away for a moment- and that can be a good thing. Some people seem to reading something really evil into your intent- I just see it as you being there with the family having a good time and taking the odd moment to celebrate privately with your wife. Rather a nice idea the more I think on it.
For my part, when it comes to family (some are wine lovers, some not) and non-wine people- I generally make whatever I am bringing available to all and just choose right for the occasion. Next week, for example, I have been tasked with bringing some wine to the holiday party for one of my local gem and mineral clubs. It will be about 12-15 people and I was told half do not drink and the other half are beer/wine types. The host is making something quite remarkable for the meal. And so I am bringing 2023 Emmanuel Rouget Haute Cotes Nuits. Not too expensive, and very enjoyable drink for all- and it will be of a level that merits serving alongside a beef tenderloin with traditional saucing. And only if someone else there turns out to be a serious burg nut will they realize how rare it is- so it is not something that will intimidate everyone- an important point. I just say all that to point out there is almost always something that can be brought and shared that will suit everyone- though I still think your original idea is a fun one and more about adding some dimension to things versus being exclusionary.
All that said- when it is other wine people who are not bringing their share- a problem that continues to get worse in wine club/lounge general tasting events- I have no qualms about hiding the good stuff. A couple of years ago, at my storage facility, I went to one of the monthly wine tastings where any member can come and bring whatever they want. There is usually a theme to help set some level of expectation. It was one of the holiday “bring big” events- and I walked in the room, looked at the crap on the table, and then looked to a friend who motioned me to the back. And back there, four of us enjoyed Drouhin Amoureuses, Mouton, Lafleur and a rather rare off vintage of Carruades that was lovely, for about 30 minutes before we rejoined the main group with the vast majority each bottle still intact to let them all push and scramble for a taste while we casually perused the selection of generally $50 and under wines that had turned up. No guilt there- whatsoever- and I would do it again.
There are lots of sanctimonious people around here these days, unfortunately.
@Mark_Golodetz , this thread is giving me a great idea. For the spring why don’t we do a Secret Bottle tasting at your house. Everyone brings a bottle for the table and then hides a bottle somewhere in the house. Every so often, people have to come up with a new and different reason to be excused from the table while they go and have a sip from their secret bottle.
The twist is, while you are up from table and going to your bottle, you also get to search for all the other hidden bottles and taste them and make a tasting note.
