In terms of actual wine suggestions, around here, at sub-$30, you’d be looking at:
RED
- Southern Rhone [general vicinity of Gigondas]
- Languedoc
- Argentinian Malbec & Malbec blends
- Chianti Classico [but probably not CCR]
If you see any 2015s from Gigondas/Languedoc , then grab them.
On the other hand, the 2016s from Gigondas/Languedoc won’t be ready until about 2066 - they all taste like barrel samples right now [if you can even keep them in your mouth long enough to “taste” them].
Sadly, we just don’t see much Australian Shiraz anymore.
And “I don’t want intellectual exercise wines” rules out the reds from the Loire [and, for that matter, from Greece].
WHITE
- German Riesling
- Loire Melon [Muscadet, Muscadet Sevre & Maine, Muscadet Sevre & Maine sur Lie]
- Sauvignon Blanc [Slovenia, Germany, New Zealand]
- Maybe an entry-level Gruner Veltliner from Austria
If you were in California, you might be able to assemble an interesting tasting of un-oaked California Chardonnay [at less than $30 per bottle], but I doubt you’d be able to find very many of those wines in Ohio.
In the right market, you could also do some fun tastings with Prosecco, or Moscato d’Asti, but, again, I don’t know whether you could assemble those tastings locally.
And if it were 20 years ago, you could even pour Champagne.
But the Good Ship $29.99 Champagne sailed a long time ago [although sometimes we’ll still see a swallowable champagne at $39.99].
EDIT: We also see some Petit Chablis & Macon for sub-$30, but they sell out very, very quickly. You can’t just walk into a random store and find them - you have to be following your emails religiously, and be prepared to pull the trigger when the email arrives.