You seem very excited about the trip and that’s great! But I get the sense that you may be overthinking this a bit, just like the winery visits in the other thread… All these restaurants are very good and none of them will blow your mind. You probably know that. Just choose the one that’s most convenient for where you are staying so that you and your husband can enjoy your anniversary and don’t have to deal with the logistics of getting there and back after what is shaping up to be a very tiring day already 
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Since you have such a jam packed day with a lot of tasting, I recommend something thats nearby and not too long. Personally, I would not have a good time at a 2+ hour meal after visiting 4 wineries earlier in the day.
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I will be going to Napa in a couple weeks and Bistro Jeanty is the restaurant I plan on going to - I highly recommend it!
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Hey Tom! What did you order that blew your mind? Really appreciate your feedback on my first post. Thank you!
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You’re welcome! Bouchon- the mussels, roast chicken and Coq au vin were memorable. At Torc I fell in love with the crudos, they had a tuna and another that were fabulously delicate in texture but lively in taste. Excellent pastas and short ribs later in the meal.
We went to Farm a decade or so ago, it was OK but the service was very amateur. I am sure things have improved. The grounds and the Restaurant are beautiful.
Been to Napa several times, dined in many restaurants and Torc is the standout.
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We’re big fans of Charter Oak, but would suggest you eat in Napa near your hotel
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Bouchon is awesome. I will say that last January on a very cold night, we ate in one of the heated yurts at Charter Oak and it was a fantastic and unique experience.