Hypothetical: If you're hosting a bunch of Berserkers...

ToddFrench · September 20, 2018, 4:52am

The Berserker BBQ’s were always fun, but we had members who manned the grills, heated the sides and starter trays/desserts were pre-purchased. As a “host” I spent a lot of time doing chores and not really getting to spend a lot of quality time with everybody. There was a fair amount of clean up involved the following day and several members were there to help.

We have since the rented space for one party and had Carrie’s 60th birthday party, both catered by local caterer’s. One used our grill, the other was self contained. They did it all, including clearing the tables, washing the dishes, stem ware, silverware and cleaning the grill. All I had to do the next day was rearrange the tables and clean up a couple spots. The cost of the caterer was slightly higher. The caterers all offered two main dishes and invitees given the menu. If they can’t eat what’s on the menu, both caterers offered to cook what they brought for themselves at a half plate rate.

Dump buckets. You must have dump buckets in several, no, many places, depending on how many people attend. Replace them every 15 minutes until people are seated for dinner, then every 30 minutes. After dinner, there is less dumping and more drinking.

This is gospel, right here.

Anton_D · September 20, 2018, 1:18pm

Dump buckets.

You people.

K_John_Joseph · September 20, 2018, 2:17pm

You sir, are mistaken. I’m going to supply some wine, but I fully expect at least my fellow DFW berserkers to bring juice. And a goodly amount of it.

ToddFrench · September 20, 2018, 3:12pm

And those coming from out of town are bringing wine

K_John_Joseph · September 20, 2018, 3:26pm

Hypothetically, of course.

J_a_y_H_a_c_k · September 20, 2018, 4:01pm

The following menu is not hypothetical. It is the actual menu served at Berserkerfest 2.5 in my back yard WAY BACK IN 2010. Please note that the second and third courses are listed below in the order actually served, although the original plan was to reverse them but due to problems with heating up the oil, we had to reverse to order. I left out the words “home made” throughout the description because, short of making my own mayo, it was all home made.

First Full Course - Noon
Choice of Oyster/Shitake Mushroom Risotto or Saffron Seafood Risotto

Second Full Course - 2 pm
Oxymoron Sandwiches - Pulled pork on a challah roll with choice of creamy or vinegar or mayo creamy cole slaw and choice of tomato molasses or vinegar/mustard BBQ sauce.

Third Full Course - 4 pm
Deep fried brined turkey with fire roasted vegetables. Two turkeys - one cajun spiced and the other salt and honey brine.

Fourth Full Course - 6 pm
Smoked Whole Brisket with mole sauce and caramelized onions

Fifth Full Course - 8 pm

Flannery Hangar Steaks grilled over a 700 degree fire in the Big Green Egg.

Dessert - because I had to win the food war - 9:30-ish

Choice of chocolate marbled cheese cake or

Fresh made chocolate covered bacon dipped in the chocolate fountain we rented, with other dipping items varying from Pretzels to vanilla wafers to Oreos for those who were grossed out by putting non-kosher bacon into milk chocolate.

Wine? Somewhere I have a photo of three recycling bins we put out the following Wednesday.

ToddFrench · September 20, 2018, 4:16pm

Jay Hack KNOWS how to throw a party - his menu was insane.

Paul_McCourt · September 20, 2018, 4:51pm

When I have a bunch over, I often cook two things:

Marinated skirt steak tacos. Easy to grill, slice it up and throw it on the table with the fixin’s and everyone makes their own tacos.

I make a bunch of kabobs up beforehand; shrimp, lamb, beef, chicken, mushroom/veggie. Again, easy to cook, handle, consume, minimal cleanup. Friends frequently throw them on for themselves when they get hungry.

For wines we kind of just pull whatever people are feeling like, or want to try. No theme.

Mike_Stoneking · September 20, 2018, 5:25pm

That was an EPIC feast.

J_a_y_H_a_c_k · September 20, 2018, 5:25pm

I believe that the photo of Todd with the chocolate covered bacon was recently found while excavating that tomb in Egypt. Either Brad Kane or Professor Ken has it.

ToddFrench · September 20, 2018, 5:27pm

I thought my tongue was directly into the cascading chocolate, no?

J_a_y_H_a_c_k · September 20, 2018, 5:36pm

That too.

We need some young kids to do this. I was 67 years old last Saturday and I’m getting too old to do that again. AND then there’s the little problem of my wife forbidding me to ever do it again.

Jayson_Cohen · September 20, 2018, 5:48pm

That’s because Charlie F doesn’t remember 1987, but Charlie C sure does.

Markus_S · September 20, 2018, 6:29pm

Ahh, parental controls.

K_John_Joseph · September 20, 2018, 6:29pm

I fear that I will not live up to Jay Hack’s example. For the feast, that is. I’ll happily guzzle some Mouton in public with a london fog windbreaker on, and am a fan of a sarcastic retort.

Jay_Miller · September 20, 2018, 6:33pm

Members Only jacket or it doesn’t count.

ToddFrench · September 20, 2018, 7:22pm

Hypothetically, of course

J_a_y_H_a_c_k · September 20, 2018, 7:44pm

The windbreaker is a rare, limited edition, Gallet Dreyer & Berkey, LLP logo windbreaker. None of that cheap London Fog crap that you can get at any retail store. And you can’t live up to the rest of my example, either.

Mont_Stern · September 20, 2018, 7:48pm

Getting back on topic, copious amounts of Flannery beef and unbreakable glassware.

K_John_Joseph · September 20, 2018, 9:11pm

I don’t know, I’m pretty sure I can lose a bunch of hair, let it go gray, slouch a bit to look shorter, and throw on some spectacles. I’m content with the rest of what I’m offering, even if woefully inadequate relative to you, sire.