If I read this right, you’ll leave LA on the 20th, have that day and 2 more before getting in to SF on the 23rd.
We have done this drive many, many times. At this point, we almost never try to do it in one day (in which case we would drive up 5). Instead, we have been breaking the trip up, stopping in various places along hwy 101. So I can give you my suggestions based on our experience and preferences. As Andrew mentioned, depending on where you’re starting from in LA, you could see some ugly traffic up the 405, and along 101 through the valley, and even along the coast through Oxnard and Camarillo. SLO is a reasonable destination for the first night, though I will say we prefer Santa Barbara. More interesting town, a lot more restaurants to choose from, and right on the ocean.
Carmel: if you haven’t been there, it’s a gem. Very cute, cool small town, very touristy, but fun to walk around. Also right on the ocean, you can walk or drive along the coast and get some nice scenery (and amazingly expensive real estate). Lots of restaurants. Not a nightlife place, but there are some places to go if you want.
An option between SB (or SLO) and Carmel is to drive up hwy 1 through Big Sur. One of the most impressive scenic drives you can do anywhere (though a bit windy, with some cliff exposure, though that’s not a factor driving north). Amazingly, it’s only about 45 minutes more to drive 1 than 101 to Carmel.
If it was me, I’d drive to SB, then Carmel, then SF. Spend 2 nights in either SB or Carmel on the way (for me it would be Carmel, from where you can drive and enjoy 17 mile drive, have lunch at Pebble Beach lodge, check out Monterey and Cannery Row if you want to play tourist, etc). LA to SB is an easy drive, even with some traffic, giving you time to explore the town in the afternoon before dinner. Next day (21) drive to Carmel via 1, if you get an early start stop at Nepenthe for lunch, then cruise into Carmel. Dinner in Carmel. Next day (22) cruise around Carmel, take 17 mile drive, have lunch at Pebble Beach, dinner back in Carmel, or Monterey if you like. On the 23rd drive to SF from Carmel. It’s a weekday, so more traffic, but you’ll do it mid-day and be OK.
And crap, I forgot your main destination is Sonoma, so throw all that away, unless I can convince you to give up Sonoma and do Carmel. Which is what I would do 
Unless your wife is equally a wine geek as you, Carmel is the better place.
If you really want Sonoma, stay there. Healdsburg is a solid hour farther north. Sonoma is cute, has good places to eat, is that much closer for getting back to SF.
Yosemite: when you say “near Yosemite”, I assume that means outside the park. Be wary that a certain administration has eliminated all restrictions on entering the park (which has for some time required reservations to enter, in order to control crowds, maintain adequate parking, etc.). Some of the stories I’ve seen are scary for crowds, like hours long lines to drive in (note that there is an entrance fee), no parking, or people parking anywhere and everywhere they shouldn’t. By late September that should hopefully be more calm, but keep an eye on things. If you’re outside the park, get a very early start on your way in.