so many great british-isms
someone needs to come up with a word for when the servers come back with all the small plates for the table and they need to re-arrange the water glasses, wine glasses, wine bottle, candle, and clean plates. i usually just sit back and laugh.
My father is a relatively slow eater. Servers used to try and clear my father’s plate when this still food on it, no one was got away with it. He doesn’t eat as much now, so it doesn’t come up.
Second favorite was when servers would ask how everything was, my mother would let them know what she didn’t like about the food and I can’t recall one server that could handle it.
Is clusterf**k too generic?
Bruce
One observation from when I done with American colleagues is that they are less likely to put their knife and fork together at the five o’clock position making it harder for the waiter to determine if they are finished. Maybe it’s just the individuals.
Probably because the servers in the US are just as unlikely to know that means anything.
I don’t get this. I don’t want an empty plate in front of me for principle.
its just being gentlemanly. The idea is that the other diner is being rushed.
Well since the cutlery has to be put somewhere putting it in the appropriate place is as good as any, on the offchance you get staff trained in their job… 
That’s why wait staff could always, oh, I don’t know, ask… I’ve had wait staff try to clear my plate when I was still holding my utensils and still eating!
Bruce
Proper etiquette. Things like that are being killed off by newer generations.
As long as they don’t ask if I’m still “enjoying” my appetizer/entree/dessert or what-have-you. I hate that particular affectation of current fine dining restaurants.
I like my plates served at the proper temperature to help the dish remain warm or cool.
So, don’t put my hot dish on a room temperature plate.
I like dark, so buy the author a penlight. ![[cheers.gif]](/uploads/db3686/original/2X/0/0ff9bfcdb0964982cd3240b6159868fbdf215b1a.gif "cheers"){kind=small}
I also like being offered olive oil in lieu of butter for bread. Sometimes I feel like one, or the other.
All in all, I feel none of must be suffering greatly! 
An excuse of ‘proper etiquette’ should only be used by someone who chooses to follow the rules of ‘proper etiquette’ wholly.
This is not aimed at anyone, everyone picks and chooses the rules of etiquette they want to follow and those they choose to ignore or remain ignorant of (my excuse).
I understand your point. I think “enjoying” ended up substituting for “working on.” It’s a tough place. Does the server ask, "Are you finished?’ or “May I clear your plate?” or “If you are finished, would you like me to wrap the rest up for you?”
Of course the noise thing is a real biggie for me. I just hate the noise level experienced in many
middle-tier restaurants that I guess younger people get-off on as vibrant. I don’t mind music, but if you’re going to do it, you have to assume then that conversation volume is going to go up and you need at least some sound attenuation. But I think most proprietors know it. I was told by someone in mgmnt at a really loud and packed L.A. restaurant that they know that all the hustle, bustle, and noise actually keeps people from lingering too long so it helps achieve the goal of turning more tables.
Another related peeve of my is the uncomfortable chairs that so many places have. The visual design element of the furniture has become much more important than the actual function. I’ve gotten to the point where I ask for a different table if the try to put me at one with a backless seat and those are not uncommon here.
I also don’t like restaurants that don’t take reservations. There’s too much driving/travel to get to various parts of L.A. to risk getting there and having the wait be an hour. I don’t mind all walk-in for very casual, but a decent place should take reservations.
If you use small water glasses, or even if you don’t, either put a carafe of water on the table or be hyper-vigilant about refilling my water.
I have a strange habit of saving the “best” bite for last. More than once I’ve actually snapped (mildly) at a waiter trying to clear my plate with that bite still on it.
And in my case they turn it permanently since I’d never go back.
Some additional ones from a recent Eater piece:
I’m ready for the burrata bubble to burst. It’s officially lost its exoticism, this sack of mozzarella filled with cream and more mozz. More often than not, the burrata is served too old and has lost its elasticity and lifeforce.
Everyone loves sushi and its distant Italian cousin, crudo, but the uncooked fish appetizer craze has gone too far. I don’t need the option of sashimi-grade yellowfin on a Persian-inspired menu.
I’m typically not one to grouse about the high cost of restaurant food: If the meat or produce looks and taste of high quality, I’m generally fine to pony up. But this year I noticed salads of simple lettuces reaching the $15 mark, and not just in New York. No matter how prestigious your purveyor, that crosses a line.
Some people hate communal tables. My concern is more specific: Could restaurants please make their communal tables not so wide? Seating a party of two across from one another is nice, but not when it’s an oceanic expanse that separates us, and we literally have to shout to carry on a conversation not because it’s loud, but because we’re so far away from one another.
It seems increasingly fashionable for pastry chefs, particularly at the end of tasting menus, to take innocent pieces of cake, hack them into cubes, and re-arrange them on plates among artfully slung sauces. The cake usually tastes stale or mushy, and the plating often feels like a way to mask inferior baking skills.
Full article was on trends we can expect to see in 2016, and can be found here: Eight Essential Trends Sweeping American Dining - Eater
I want to be offered fresh ground on dishes that call for it.
And I want to complain throughout the evening if things are over or under salted and swear off the joint forever.
edit: (so I don’t want s&p shakers on my white clothed table unless they’re the prettiest I’ve ever seen.)
Also, generally I’m eating crappy fish, so I’m probably mostly in it for the soy soaked rice and the beer. I wouldn’t dream of it at the counter of a decent place. But in the local sushi dump? Leave me and my wasabi slurry alone.