Another factor at play with people who are not as into wine is access. Most, like ~90% of the population (in the US at least) only knows to buy wine at a grocery store, maybe a wine or liquor shop for a special occasion. In many, many places, particularly non-large metro areas, that relegates the choices available to mass produced wines. I know I was that wine buyer 20 years ago., and even today when I visit many places I travel and I look for wine, that is what I see. I didn’t know what I didn’t know back then and the actual thought of spending more than $20, usually even $10, never entered my mind, but I enjoyed most of the wines I drank.
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I really appreciate the thoughtful gift, regardless of whether I think I’ll love that bottle of wine. If they’d like me to open it, I’ll do so. Even if I don’t love the wine, I look forward to trying something new or something I haven’t had for a while and challenging my wine prejudices.
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To put this all into perspective, imagine the opposite. Would you want the bottle that you gift someone to be opened for the occasion and appreciated? Or rather set aside, never again mentioned, and possibly re-gifted?
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As a foodie as well as a wino, I have come to appreciate that there is no such thing as a “bad” wine. It can always be used as an ingredient in other food and drink. You can make Sangria with it, you can make a wine jelly dessert, you can poach fish with it if it’s a white, you can make stew with it if it’s a red, you can use it up anywhere a liquid is called for in cooking and mixology. So thank the guest for bringing it and put it to good use.
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If someone took the time to think of bringing a wine over I’d open to and try it with them. FFS the amount of douchebaggery here sometimes just astounds me to stash it away and regift it, like it may taint that magical palate of yours by actually imbibing some of it! 
If that person was invited to your house in the first place I assume you like them or someone you care about does, suck it up and be a good host, and be honest if its some manufactured, mega purple laden, off dry, slightly vegetal, smoke-tainted, TCA infected, refermenting and slightly frizzante Pinot Noir by immediately wretching and spitting it across the kitchen into the sink perfectly into the disposal in a high arching stream…or simply tell them its really not my style for more than a glass but I appreciate you bringing it over and sharing with the group.
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The rack of unused gifted wine in my cellar has entered the chat…
Seriously though, I have received many wines that I don’t find usable for any culinary purpose. Modern fruit and oak bombs for reds and sweet, rich, oaky whites come to mind as things for which I can’t find a use, except regifting or donating. High degree of RS tends to be the biggest issue. Most culinary applications are going to reduce the wine and also the sweetness, and then there’s the oak. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate the sentiment of the gift-giver, just that I’m not going to ruin good food with a poor ingredient simply because it is wine.
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When I was younger I usually didn’t open a guest’s substandard bottle saying something about already picking out the wine for the evening. Then these bottles accumulated in the cellar. Never would I gift a wine to someone else if I didn’t want to drink it myself, same goes for cooking wines.
Now, I almost always open a guest’s bottle in addition to what I planned. I want them to feel welcome in my house. The smiles on their faces when it’s opened are fabulous, they appreciate it and feel more a part of the celebration. The wine is given in good spirit, so I try to reciprocate. A very underrated bonus is that the wines no longer take up any space in the cellar.
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I understand the “just drink it” sentiment, but I think the OP’s qualification of a small party is the key factor in the question. If you have a dinner planned you’ve also likely painstakingly planned the wines and while it doesn’t hurt to simply open the bottle it is also likely wasteful. I think having your wine selections out and decanted or on the table goes a long way to quelling any potential misgivings over the failure to open the wine.
Another situation I’ve encountered is larger parties where people bring gift bottles but there is already just so much open. I’ll typically set the bottles out with the other wines to be opened as needed or not, as the event requires. Even this isn’t completely free of risk of offense though, as the giver may want you to keep it for another time or not have it get lost in the crowd, but it’s simply not always possible to open and praise each bottle brought.
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Hard to imagine a gifted wine not suitable for cooking. Not even for a marinade?
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To be clear, I don’t feel the need to open any bottle I’m gifted that same night, regardless of quality, though I may do so. If I’m having a dinner party, I’ve already planned the wines carefully. Most people who bring wine to my house are fellow wine lovers, and they bring great wine. But unless we’ve talked about in advance, it might not end up being opened and no one is bothered if we don’t happen to drink it that night (we usually do). Almost certainly it can be saved for a future time, either with that friend or not. I’ll also try and let them know how it showed if we open it without them. On the rare occasions when someone I didn’t know well brought something I didn’t want that night (or at all), I’ve graciously thanked them and put the bottle aside. One night a guest I’d not met before brought a large scale CA cabernet as a gift.
It was a sake dinner and we were having Asian food that would not have paired well with it. Instead, we opened it with steak a few weeks later, and sent a note thanking them. The only wines I’ve thrown out were a Beringer white zin and a viognier from Virginia, neither of which I could even use for cooking.
If I’m having a big free-for-all party, however, I’ll happily open whatever arrives.
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Maybe 15 years ago a friend, who invited maybe 20-25 people over to help him clean out his cellar for new arrivals, was treated to a guest bringing in a bottle of Two-Buck-Chuck. He opened it immediately and put it on the counter among all the bottles of his own he’d opened. Later I noticed it was empty……… whatever floats your boat I guess.
Admittedly this situation was easier to deal with than it would have been had this been a sit down dinner. But, I guess, he would have opened it and just put it on the table in that case. Then, again, judging others is really a waste of time.
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I agree with you, Tran.
My friends all know my wine maxim- “There’s no such thing as a bad wine, just a bad time to drink it.”
Even though the answer for the best time to drink some wines seems like “never!”
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And flame I shall! Just kidding Larry. I agree with you that it’s wrong to think any one person gets to define good or bad. But I don’t buy the ‘if you like it, it’s good’ argument.
I was a country kid who grew up on McDonalds and Bud Light. Those were my favorite things in the world. Oddly, it was my exposure to chain restaurants like Fridays and Olive Garden in the '90’s that first showed me that something else existed. It’s easy to look at that sentence in horror, but to a country kid (pre-internet, and we couldn’t afford to travel), seeing all these different types of foods was a revelation, and turned me onto so much more. Decades on and I’ve been all around the world enjoying all the different cuisines and beverages I can get my hands on. And all of the culture that came with it. If I’d stopped at Bud Light and McDonalds, none of that would have happened.
We shouldn’t use people’s tastes and preferences to beat them up. But I absolutely do care what people drink. It’s not about wanting them to drink ‘better’, it’s about seeing if I can open them up to a journey. Showing them there’s this whole other world out there, if it’s a thing that interests them (and if it doesn’t, all good).
And I mean it when I say if it doesn’t interest them, all good. The girlfriend of one of my friends likes one thing - cheap Pinot Grigio on ice. She’s never going to deviate from that, and I know her well enough to not even bother (though, she will experiment occasionally).
But I have three good friends whose journeys I helped kick off. Each found their (very different) way. One has a very small cellar of nice Italian and California wines, with a big focus on Zinfandel. We geek out on those together, but he’s game for Chinon as well. Another simply appreciates the chance to learn about wine, but doesn’t know how to go about it himself, so he has me pick a mixed case for him every couple months, and I ask him to report back on what he liked and didn’t like. A third friend went a totally separate way - crazy about minimal intervention / natural wines. If anything he’s now turning me onto new stuff when I see him.
Finally, my mom was never into wine when I was a kid. She only drank white zin during the holidays. Years ago she was blown away by a Gewurztraminer we tried at some wine bar in Chicago. She couldn’t believe how expressive the nose was - all these different aromas in a little glass of wine! She’s retired and hates spending money, so her normal weekday wine is a Chateau St Michelle white.
But she’s always excited to try new things. A couple years ago I got her a couple mixed cases of Tercero reds and whites. She has so much fun working her way through all the different varieties and bottlings! And we have so much fun when I’m back over the holidays geeking out on Larry’s wines.
So again, I do care what people drink. Not because it needs to be ‘better’, but because I want to share with people the amazing journey I’ve been on, and see if I can open them up to some new ideas (and then they can open me up to some as well!). And if they don’t want the journey, that’s cool too.
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Hey Jason - thank you for your thoughtful reply, and I get it.
That said, some folks are simply so intimidated by wine that they find what they like and they stay there - and that is the end of their journey.
I hope we all understand that the average French or Italian consumer is not ‘geeking’ out about wine - it’s a beverage that’s part of their culture and part of their meals. Period.
I do enjoy exposing folks to new wines because it’s what I do and I am enamored by the diversity of wines - but I also always remember that not everyone is like me.
I always turn it around to something someone else is geeky about that I’m not. If you geek out about road bicycles, that’s awesome - but the general consumer is simply going to go to Walmart and they will purchase a bike based on price - not componentry, not on any new technologies that are being utilized on the bike.
Just to reiterate, I still do not believe there are ‘bad’ wines unless they are really faulty (shall we talk mousiness or TCA?), just wines that I prefer or don’t. And I know others feel differently, but just remember your audience at all times.
Cheers.
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I’m not sure I understand the hand wringing here. If you’re just hosting company, presumably the company is the important part and middle shelf supermarket wine is fine? I would always open wine that a person brought unless they made it clear that it was a gift and not intended for drinking that night. My general experience is that if someone who isn’t super into wine brings wine to my house then either:
- They brought something they like, in which case I should let them drink it rather than presuming that my selection would be more to their taste.
- They brought something that they don’t know much about but think would go well with the occasion (maybe on the recommendation of someone in a store), in which case they put in some thought about the evening and I’d like to recognize that by opening and sharing the wine.
- They brought something that they think I will like. If I open it and enjoy it with company that also recognizes their thoughtfulness.
- They brought something to bring something and don’t much care about the outcome. In which case it doesn’t matter whether I drink it that evening or put it away.
I can’t think of any commercially available wine that I would genuinely have a problem drinking with good company. I get to choose what I drink almost every day. Very little is at stake here.
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Yes, holiday meals are more about the people than the wine.
-Al
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Its the same when ignorant people gift you a CD when they have known for years that you onlu play vinyl
This is hilarious.
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This situation is generally made easier if the gifted wine arrives packaged in bag of some sort. Very easy to put on a side table and leave it there. But I’m also with Alfert; I see no problem opening someone’s wine and putting it out for consumption.
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