i’ll take the compliment! lol yes yes you did… what a memory! how do you even remember that?
Flawed poll - ask them to bring salad.
What I will ask you is whether they seem to really enjoy the wines you pour? Some folks we used to have over quite a bit before they moved would always drink the wines I poured, but they really did prefer 2 Buck Chuck and Beringer White Zin (and the like). So I started opening their bottle, as well as one of mine. They got what they wanted, and I drank the good stuff.
I’d leave it on the counter in the kitchen, and forget to open it. ![[whistle.gif]](/uploads/db3686/original/2X/8/87d24eb81ec6dc01d84f3d6c19fa9a357e90218e.gif "whistle"){kind=small}
If the guest is dumb/cheap enough to buy the swill, they’ll never belive you if you tell them that you’ve pre-selected the wines. That’s insulting.
If you want to have some fun, open their wine, and do a taste comparison. Then, explain in only ways you (Jay) can that will be informative.
I like the idea of opening it and let them drink it, or they may realize in comparison to the others you’ve selected, they are bringing junk (which they may not realize).
I wouldn’t keep telling them you’re going to cellar it for another occasion though - that suggests it should be saved with all the other good wines you have, and they probably take that to mean that they really are bringing good wines.
Your poll question implies a one-time thing, so I voted for the polite first answer, but reading your post, you are talking about a repeat offender. It seems like a waste of their money to keep encouraging them by lying to them. I would take preventive action. Next time you invite them over, just say “You really don’t have to bring anything, but if feel you must, bring a salad (or dessert or whatever). I like to pick the wines for dinner in advance to match the food.”
Here in Dallas I’ve run into this problem with a weekly blind tasting group I help run and organize. One of the ways we’ve dealt with this problem is to assign wines to the participants. Give them some guidelines that they need to adhere to. For example, one week we may want to do a tasting of different Burgundies or German/Austrian Rieslings. Mention a specific Cru level or similar designation and even give them a short and brief explanation as to why they’ve been given those specific guidelines: goes better with the food being served, variety of bottlings being offered, or even note a specific vintage to do a side by side vertical tasting.
I think this helps to form a certain criteria and it gives the occasion a special feel. They can then go and search for the wine, ask around and diligently pursue said wines and it should provide a feeling of accomplishment. Rather than just allowing them to pop into a grocery store and buy whatever-the-hell-they-want, it provides an experience.
Or, you can ask nonchalantly if they’re familiar with a certain person or place where you yourself buy wines. I find that many people that are novices in wine, look up to people that are more experienced and want to enjoy wine in the same manner. “Hey, do you know John Smith over at XYZ Wine Shop off of ? They always have a good selection of well priced wines that always over-deliver”. Send them to someone you know and trust. I think would be a good start.
Gotta have the wine lineup chosen before the party. If you still want to do the guest a solid, pop the cork late when you want everyone to leave the house. I did that once with a bottle of Llano Sweet Red that a friend brought over. Killed the party. It was perfect.
Thank them and open it.
Have wine already opened beforehand that I plan to drink. Then save their wine for cooking. Or if they insist on opening it, I’m “in the mood for beer…”
The answers may differ between swill and mediocre wine. If it’s mediocre, I might open it for pre-meal cocktails, serving what I planned with the meal.
Open it and put it on the table with a few other wines and you can avoid anyone noticing you haven’t poured any for yourself. No point in keeping the bottle unopened - you sure don’t want to keep it around or, God forbid, make them think you like it so much you want to hog it for yourself.
Welcome back Mikhail!
Execute them on the spot. The example will never be lost on your other friends.
In all seriousness, do nothing. Either somebody will take home the unopened wine or you can use it later for cooking.
Show them Charlie Fu’s avatar.
How about the reverse problem -
How do you prevent the host from not opening a great bottle when you bring it to the party?
On many occasions, I have had hosts say “Wow, I think we’ll save that one. We have plenty of wine open.” Usually, its something I really want to try. I guess I could bring the bottle open and claim it needed a decant, but anyone else have any other tricks?
Hi boys and girls,
I normally say, “Oh thanks, but if there is one thing I don’t need it is more wine. Why don’t you keep it and drink it yourselves?”
A few times this has failed when people have specifically brought back bottles of local dross from novelty countries which they insist I’ll be fascinated to try. I am afraid to say I feel totally justified in letting rip with torrents of florid invective of the tenor they so obviously deserve. Once or twice people have looked slightly hurt or offended; I reply, “Surely you know I drink good wine? I’m obsessed with the stuff! If you think I could obtain even an approximation of anything above revulsion from filth like this then clearly you have limited interest in my interests.” They don’t bring wine again, hmmm… one chap hasn’t rung me in years… no loss considering the execrable quality of his Romanian abomination.
Of course serious wine chums never commit such faux pas, unless it is for a blind tasting jape. About two years ago someone brought around a bottle of 1970 Cahors and served it blind. I think I said, “The least rude thing I can say about this wine is that it is more dried out than a piece of Icelandic fish, the most accurate thing is that it tastes quite similar but rather less palatable.” I don’t like that leathery Icelandic dried fish.
Cheers,
David.
YEP!
Jay, your approach is fine, but probably will only work so many times. Once in a while, you may want to throw them a bone and open theirs. You can then set it next to some of your other open wines, and mostly just drink the better stuff.
If they are bringing crap because they are cheap bastards, then that is a different story. But if they think they are being nice, then courtesy must prevail sometimes.
Right, another good idea!
This is only a problem if the friend is a male. Females (and civilized males) will not expect you to open it. Unless you have been asked to bring something, when you bring wine or any other gift to a host, it is intended to be a gift; it would be wrong of the guest to expect to drink some of what he has just given. Thus, the proper answer is to say thank you and mean it, welcome them warmly, and give them some of whatever you had planned to drink as an aperitif.
Now, if the friend is a male clod without social graces, you kick him in the balls, blame Parker and open a 2007 CdP.
I would have checked box 1, but I do that ahead of time—almost always for my dinner parties, the guests will know the lineup of food and wines in advance, so there is any expectation that anything they bring will be opened that day.
I rarely get “swill” though will sometimes get lower-cost, lower-value items from people. I thank them genuinely—they’ve already committed to spending some 4 hours out of a busy schedule with me, so anything they bring is bonus—and will usually end up using at a bigger party of other non-'phile friends or maybe with the family or some other innocuous event. Seems to work OK. I don’t ever re-gift, though.
Count—welcome aboard!
I didn’t see “Punch them in the Larynx” as a choice.