Howdy Folks. Here’s a short rant based on my experience with people who brush their teeth just before wine tasting. Caveats: I’m an online wine retailer, and this is my second post.
I poured wine at a big tasting event the other week – 150 people, scores of different bottles, and my table was the only pinot noir at the event. I was looking forward to impressing some folks with the wines.
Before long, up comes a fellow who proclaimed his love for Oregon Pinot Noir. “It’s the best,” he declared, “It’s about all I drink anymore.” In short, my people.
He tasted through five different wines, and each one met the same reaction: “Thin and sour.” At the end of the flight, he expressed disappointment that the wines were not up to his expectation. “Normally, I love Oregon pinot noir,” he told me.
I knew what was wrong. He had brushed his teeth directly before the wine event. I inquired, and he affirmed, gesturing to the large crowd around him. He didn’t want to offend anyone with dirty teeth or bad breath, so he polluted his palate with toothpaste. (On top of that, his companion crunched down on and swallowed a breath mint just as I offered the first wine.)
Through clenched teeth and a fake smile, I instructed him to go eat some food, swish some chardonnay around on his palate a few times, and come back. He complied. The wines were awesome, and he learned a lesson: Do NOT brush your teeth before a wine tasting. Do not chew gum. Do not use breath mints. Do not spray minty stuff in there, avoid the mouthwash, take a risk on the vampires and do NOT chew raw garlic before a wine tasting. If you do any of those things, the wine will taste like crap and you will be wasting your time – and mine.
And just because I’m on a rant, do NOT hose yourself down with Ax Body Spray, wads of perfume, or anything else that makes you smell stronger than the wine. Wine flavor depends on wine aroma, and I don’t want to smell you instead of the wine.
Yes, yes, if someone wants an intimate interlude with your filthy wine-hole, it may be a problem. So get a room, brush your teeth, and proceed. But wait until you’re finished tasting the wine.