The Giving and Taking of Travel Advice

[Marshall_Gelb]

@Howard Cooper

@Andrew Gelb

He might have meant me, but I truly doubt it!

Andrew

To be honest, I think I was talking about both of you, but was not sure. Thus, I left out first names. I apologize and should have specifically listed you both.

Certainly no apology is necessary…We were always brought up to share!



Cheers!
Gelb the Elder

[Mike_DiSalvo]

Blame it on the Millennials!

[Sherr1_Shap1r0]

I am visiting Italy right now, and received a wide variety of recommendations from people on this board as well as from personal friends. We followed a lot of the advice we received, and in some cases where the food or experience was amazing, I snapped a photo and sent a short text or email thanking the person. In other instances, particularly with acquaintances, I figured I would either comment on the board thread or follow up via email (when I got home). I truly appreciate people taking the time and effort to help me and others, and I think that is deserving of an appropriate gesture of thanks!

I understand how Sarah feels and it is not limited to travel recommendations. Some people are naturally givers, while some are takers, and I think when the givers are on the “receiving” end, they are more likely to show their appreciation. Just my 2 cents.

[Howard_Cooper]

@Marshall Gelb

Gelb the Elder

When I was in college, after my younger sister got there my fraternity brothers starting calling me Coops the Elder and her Coops the Younger. Thought of that with your post.

[Howard_Cooper]

Beyond thanking each other, whenever I have gone to wine areas (esp. Burgundy, Alsace, etc., where you actually see the owner or winemaker and not just people whose jobs it is to give tours (and charge for them)), I have always felt that one thing I could do to thank people who agree to see me and spend time with me to post about it here and/or in other public forums. The publicity is the least I can do for them.

[alan_weinberg]

@Chris Blum

I don’t usually recap a trip after getting advice, but I’ll jump in and help the next prospective traveler.

I don’t think much of it

+1

[Peter_Kleban]

@Sarah Kirschbaum

Many of us here who travel a lot, and who enjoy sharing their experiences on social media, field regular requests for recommendations or advice. “Where should I eat? Where should I stay? How do I get around?” We get a lot of these – a LOT – including requests from friends of friends, and people we’ve never met, and we try to answer all of them in detail, including links and directions where possible, since many of the places we love are hard to find. Though we are happy to share our knowledge and experience, it can frankly take quite a bit of time and effort. We usually receive an enthusiastic “THANKS!” upon providing the information. And then we almost never hear another word. This puzzles and disappoints me.

Several times, I have reached out afterwards and asked “So, how did your trip go? Did you try any of the places we recommended?” Sometimes the answer is “no, we didn’t have time to try any on your list” and sometimes the answer is “yes, we went to XXX and it was great!” I suppose I understand the first instance better, but the second really confuses me. If someone goes to the trouble of recommending a place, particularly if I have requested the recommendation, and I try it, I will always try and let them know my thoughts afterwards. (In truth, if someone goes to the trouble, I always try to follow at least one recommendation, if at all possible. But that’s something important to me and I don’t expect others to feel as strongly about it as I do.) Have others encountered this behavior?

I suppose it’s just laziness. People get busy and they don’t think of it. And I don’t write up lengthy descriptions and lists of suggested destinations in expectation of some kind of glowing response afterwards - I do it because I like to share and help and I’m excited about the places I recommend. But I really do care and want to know what the other person thought. I think it’s good manners and a nice thank you to take the time to follow up, after someone has taken the time to recommend. I urge everyone who solicits advice to remember the one(s) who gave it to you and let them know how it went. And for those of you who do already – thank you!!

Thanks, Sarah, and I see that I am guilty of this myself–I asked you about the food at Tour d’Argent and never acknowledged your reply! My bad! Anyway, what you said was indeed appreciated. I’ve never been there, and your report was about what I expected, but still you took the time and effort to write it and you certainly deserve my thanks for that.

Beyond that, I always value your impressions of food and wine, because you have very discriminating tastes, are so well-traveled, and make the necessary effort to express your opinions clearly and completely, which is no small thing. Very few posters even approach your level, it’s almost like reading a really good travel/wine guide. I guess some part of not replying (for some people anyway) is that it’s not so easy to reply commensurately, but that of course is no excuse!

In any case, please keep posting these things, they are one of the reasons why WB is such and interesting and informative place.

[Sarah_Kirschbaum]

Thanks Peter. Glad you enjoy my posts.

When I started this thread, I really wasn’t meaning just to bitch about not being thanked or getting acknowledgement - as I said, I don’t do it in expectation of thanks or to have my ego stroked. And certainly I don’t expect every piece of advice or recommendation on the board to get a response! I was more wanting to express my surprise that people don’t feel the same excitement I do to continue the conversation with a post-visit report, and to let others know how fun it is to hear back afterwards. In other words, I don’t think it’s bad if you don’t report back, but it’s SO nice if you do, I encourage people to take that time.

[Peter_Kleban]

You’re welcome! And we would indeed be better off if everyone took the time to reply or respond whenever possible. So make the effort, people!

[Howard_Cooper]

@Sarah Kirschbaum

I was more wanting to express my surprise that people don’t feel the same excitement I do to continue the conversation with a post-visit report,

Post visit? Many times I cannot contain myself and go on line at night or in the morning to report in close to real time.

[CFu]

I recently gave some recommendations for korean and chinese restaurants in LA but the couple went somewhere else in the valley to eat instead. Never heard back tho. ;p ;p.

Your Japan trip looks tastttttttttty right now.

[Corey_N]

I try to say thanks, but honestly, I sometimes get a bit crazed (especially immediately after a vacation) with work, so I know I’ve dropped the ball at times.

On the other hand, I try to give freely of advice when asked and while I appreciate feedback, I don’t expect it.

[Sarah_Kirschbaum]

@c fu

I recently gave some recommendations for korean and chinese restaurants in LA but the couple went somewhere else in the valley to eat instead. Never heard back tho. ;p ;p.

Your Japan trip looks tastttttttttty right now.

Haha - that was fair. Be assured when we do try those places, you will hear about it!

[scamhi]

@c fu

I recently gave some recommendations for korean and chinese restaurants in LA but the couple went somewhere else in the valley to eat instead. Never heard back tho. ;p ;p.

Your Japan trip looks tastttttttttty right now.

I went to one of your recs in LA- Soowon Galbi and it was great, I followed up with feedback on the thread.

[CFu]

@scamhi

@c fu

I recently gave some recommendations for korean and chinese restaurants in LA but the couple went somewhere else in the valley to eat instead. Never heard back tho. ;p ;p.

Your Japan trip looks tastttttttttty right now.

I went to one of your recs in LA- Soowon Galbi and it was great, I followed up with feedback on the thread.

I was teasing Sarah .

[Ken_V]

Beyond getting a thank you, I think it is interesting just to get feedback. Not just on travel recos, but also wine lists. When someone asks “Help me pick a wine from this list?” it is nice to see at the end what wine(s) they picked and how they turned out.