Virginia here. Keep the notes on weird dead wines coming!
I do sometimes wonder why there isn’t more handwringing over letting the wines we own get over the hill, given the minutiae we do worry about.
I think I buy mostly age-worthy wines, but I still go down to my basement and look at many bottles of wine that I know in my heart are not getting any better and in fact are probably on the downward slope. 
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I’ll bring the wheelbarrow
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Maybe the book you wave over the wine has to be in French?
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You honored your father he would be proud!
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This thread made me cringe. My dad has a “wine collection”, all non-temperature controlled on the second floor out in racks where its a bit warmer and with a fairly decent sun exposure. Then the wines, let’s just say they all have half-lives measures in months and they would all struggle without all the environmental adversities. Its all the hits… yellow tail, KJ, …
The sink will be busy one day.
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At least my dad had a proper cellar, and the majority of his collection was age worthy.
Not going to see notes on his multi-decade Montelena Cabernet vertical in this thread.
Got some ~20 year old Viognier coming up. There’s an NV bottle of red wine from North Carolina. Plenty of fun things left to open for this thread.
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Another bottle of the 2003 Jayson Chardonnay was not actually dead. Let’s say so far past its best that it no longer remembered what its best was. Lots of alcohol showing and still oaky, but with no fruit left.
The cork completely disintegrated on a bottle of 2004 Melville Chardonnay Clone 76 Inox but after a little air it was in remarkably good shape. Shame about the 14.9% alcohol, which was really obvious, but otherwise it had some lovely lemon fruit and a peachy edge. Heavy wax capsule help with aging perhaps?
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Well so much for my lone mag of 1992 I still have! Mine’s a Reserve though…so maybe hope? 
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Fear the Walking Viogniers
2005 Blenheim Viognier Virginia
Deader than dead. Cause of death was being oxidized by falling coconuts.
2002 Michael Shaps King Family Vineyards Viognier Virginia
A second Michael Shaps wine that far exceeded expectations. Not dead. Actually quite alive. Floral and peach aromas. Even some freshness on the palate. Go figure.
2005 Yalumba Viognier South Australia
Preserved by screwcap, but only in its color. Smelled like a highway rest stop restroom that had just been blasted with Fabreze. Oof! Death would have been preferable to whatever happened to this.
2005 Craneford Viognier Adelaide Hills Australia
Less toxic than the Yalumba, but smelled like overripe peaches in an un-airconditioned locker room in July.
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Great descriptions! Almost wished I was there.
We would welcome the help. The payoff is we open the really good wine at dinner.
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So, the middle of winter. 
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This thread causes me to fear on behalf of my children should I not be foresighted enough to leave an empty wine cellar!
I thank you David for making me acutely aware of an otherwise eminent disaster! However, I am 62, so I have time to calculate and correct for such an end (I hope!). At the same time I can begin to clean out all the clutter from the garage, basement, attic and closets. That should keep me busy the coming decades and make the children grateful when the time comes.
CHEERS!
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Well if one were drinking it in that hemisphere.
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Continued…
2003 Marquis Phillips Sarah’s Blend South Eastern Australia
Corked! Alleluia!
NV Childress Vineyards Pinnacle
Appellation designation unknown, as it had nothing on the label. Vinted and bottled in North Carolina. Could be from anywhere or more likely nowhere. Generic red wine with zero distinguishing features.
2003 Walter Hansel Chardonnay RRV Cahill Lane Vineyard
Waving goodbye from the window as life passed it by. This was probably a lovely wine 5-10 years ago, but now it is flat and lifeless.
2001 Tenuta Carretta Dolcetto d’Alba
Finally a Dolcetto where the structure has fully resolved. Sadly so has everything else. Most redeeming quality was that it was still a lovely color.
2004 Barboursville Vineyards Cabernet Franc Reserve Virginia
375ml of flavor in a 750ml bottle. Zero structure. Zero mid-palate.
2003 Cap de Faugeres Cotes de Castillon
When first opened it was actually pretty nice in a knock back a glass way. Recognizably Bordeaux. Not overdone despite producer and vintage reputations. Collapsed overnight, but for what was a $14 wine I thought it was pretty good when we first had it.
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Too bad Dad wasn’t a riesling collector like his son; all these early 2000s bottles would be in their prime right now.
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David - Great thread! I’m going to be bummed when you run out of the dubious stuff!
We haven’t had so many California chardonnays in my brown-bag group in recent years, but I’d say most that we drank in the 90s, 2000s and into the 2010s were showing at least some non-positive oxidation after five or seven years.
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There are 30 or 40 early 2000s Rieslings in the cellar. My wife and I drink them whenever we visit.
I selected virtually all of them.
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I should be good on available bottles for the rest of the week.
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