It’s nice to finally get at least partial support. To be honest I felt intimidated. Cheers!
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Very interesting to read this thread after the “Are we snobs?” post.
I started both if you have noticed. Not but chance I guess.
How large is your sample size on both continents?
It seems obvious that on both continents there are restaurants that cover the full spectrum from casual to formal, with all the associated service behaviors inbetween.
It also seems obvious that service in the US skews more casual.
Not sure what your point is otherwise.
I travel frequently to Italy, probably 2-3 times a year for the last 5-7 years. Every day while there we eat in restaurants at least twice. I don’t remember being in a restaurant besides maybe small family run trattorias where they would not change silverware between the courses. In the US we dine several times a month for the last 20 years. It could be that my experience has been skewed and the conclusion is inaccurate.
I am sure in this forum there are people with much more extensive travel and dining experience both casual and formal. But as Brian said putting Europe vs US aside my point is that it’s nice to have silverware changed between the courses instead of placing dirty knife and fork on the table, especially with white linen.
First a TL/DR summary: things are rarely as black and white between Europe and the US as you make them seem.
Now for the longer version:
Vadim, a well-meant word of advice. It is not meant as snark. I quickly learned on WB that while I thought I knew quite a bit about food and wine, there were many, many posters here with truly exhaustive knowledge of the subject. Looking back at some earlier posts, I was a bit naive in sometimes trying to tell peple things they knew better than I.
I would kindly suggest that the same thing is happening here. If you visit Italy 2-3 times a year and eat out in the US several times a month, that makes you a pretty big world traveler and diner in the general U.S. population, but not on this board. As such, your sample size is pretty small compared to many (and by the way; I am not trying to show off; I don’t travel to Europe any more than you). For example, you may never have seen people taking food home from restaurants, as you mentioned earlier but it absolutely does happen. In fact, France even has a law obliging restaurants to offer doggie bags (Italy has tried the same, but no one seems to enforce it). You can read more here: https://www.lightblueconsulting.com/post/which-countries-have-laws-against-food-waste-what-restaurants-need-to-know-part-1
In Germany, the European country I know best, people absolutely do ask for take-home bags, though it is still infrequent. It is, however, seen as being sustainable. Ten years ago nobody would ask to take home food. Cultures do change.
But even within the same culture, things are not as monolithic as you seem to make them. I spent almost three weeks in Austria in hotels with half-board this summer. One hotel changed silverware at every course; the other expected you to use the same silverware for appetizer and main and would put your fork and knife on the linen if you tried to leave it on the plate.
So, if you are asking for honest answers, the answer as in so many things is: it depends. I am skeptical of posts that proclaim “Always x, never y.”
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Thanks. Point well taken. I do realize that in this forum there are many people who travel and eat out much more often than I do. And though I think I used “I have never seen” instead of “it never happens” I was still making generalization based on limited sample size. And this I admit was my mistake.
I also think that this discussion has been diverted from its main intended subject regarding whether placing used silverware directly on table linen is detestable to EU vs US etiquette comparison. And again, the way I worded my original post was the reason for this diversion.
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Not a problem for me. I bring multiple sets of my own silverware to restaurants……but only those that allow “silvage” 
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All I think is that 2 or 3 star equivalents should have polished tableware and rests. Anywhere else can give me disposable chopsticks or a cafeteria spork for all I care.