Offline Etiquette

WINE TALK
41

The first five were from personal experiences at offlines with WBers:

  1. Don’t bring plonk and try to oversell it.
  2. Don’t hog the nicer bottles.
  3. If someone is hosting a get-together in their home and providing the vittles, do not insert yourself into the final pour of a nice bottle for the host(s).
  4. If someone has repeatedly committed the infractions above, do discuss this behavior with regular attendees. You’ll often be surprised how many others have noticed the same, and the effect it has on other people’s enjoyment of (and willingness to attend) offlines.
  5. Do not run off without paying your share of the bill, especially when a WB moderator attended that offline. Also, do not commit #1 above at the same time.
  6. Make an effort to regularly circulate bottles later in the meal. Often ask if folks at the other end of the table have had bottles that have circulated to, and stayed at, your end of the table.
  7. If you have a relationship with a proprietor that is receptive to waiving corkage, or discounting it, do offer it up as an outlet for a future offline.
  8. Bring stems, especially if the venue is waiving corkage.
  9. Tip generously when corkage has been waived.
  10. Verify the method of payment that’s routinely used by the group. If it’s cash, then make sure you stop by the ATM beforehand.
42

I don’t get this one. I’m not against tipping well as a matter of course, and you need to adjust your tipping because the bills are sometimes artificially small due to no alcohol on the bill, but why should I overcompensate the waitstaff because the restaurant was generous? I compensate the restaurant by recommending it to others and coming back myself.

43

If the OL is at a private home, don’t arrive 45 min early
If you agree to bring appetizers don’t arrive 45 min late
If you agree to bring a dish, don’t expect to prepare it in the host’s kitchen, make it at home
If you have been to the host’s home a few times, it’s time for you to host
If you get blitzed at the OL, don’t hang out at the host’s home to 2am waiting to sober up, call an Uber

44

I think you basically said it yourself — the check reflects the lack of or waiver of corkage (or the buying of bottles off the list), yet the staff did the same amount of work. So it seems to me a good practice to leave a tip that at least somewhat approximates what the staff would have gotten with typical corkage fees.

Not that I think someone’s a bad guy if he doesn’t do that, but it’s just a perspective to consider. Plus, you’re just trying to build some good will for your gatherings.

45

I guess it might depend a bit on the situation. If your given a room and left alone, the staff didn’t work all that hard but many times they know you’re a friend of the owner or something and they double down, bringing fresh glasses, decanters, spit buckets, etc. And the chef may offer to do a special menu for you as well. I’ve had dinners where the chef came out and asked to see our wines and then asked if it was OK for him to do something to match them. I hate tipping in general but we always left a generous tip for those kinds of folks.

Even the one time the chef came out, saw that we had a bunch of Spanish wines, and proceeded to send out one fish dish after another. Quite good but it left a few people puzzled.

46

I’m assuming the offline you’re talking about is a formal tasting instead of getting people together for dinner with everyone bringing a bottle to share.

That said, I agree with each of these and a few others that some of the other posters have added. I’ve organized a few of these that were formal tastings, the latest being a 1977 vintage Port horizontal last fall. Let me tell you how I handled it to deal with a few of the items you’ve noted:

    • On item number 2, I explicitly reminded people of this. However, I probably didn’t need to because the folks attending are veterans at this sort of thing.
    • Number 1 isn’t an issue, because those folks have been dropped from the list long ago [cheers.gif]
    • On number 3, I do a place mat that has the glasses over the names of the wines in the glass. As you noted, blind tastings aside.
    • On number 4, I make an announcement at the beginning on what the format of the evening will be. We’ll taste each wine individually without comment and then go around the table to contribute comments. If there are a lot of wines, this is done by flight instead of individual wine. And this includes comments about the wine being corked, oxidized, etc. Keep it to yourself until it’s your turn. At the 1977 port tasting, we had one guy who has absolutely no ability to taste TCA. His taste buds can’t detect it. So his comments about the wine were interesting and different than others.
    • on the issue of size of pour, I make sure to only have one or two people doing all the pours, and make sure they know that the wine has to stretch across the number of people. I’ve never had an issue doing this. Also, I make sure the maximum number of people at any of these events is 16, so that everyone gets at least 1.5 ounces to taste.
    • on the cost of the food, I make sure that this is known upfront in the communication about the event and not when they initially show up. This way everyone has the $$$ they need. I usually work out with the venue to do separate checks so that there isn’t any screwing around with someone who ordered a salad and someone else who ordered three courses.

This may seem regimented, but it has never been an issue and the evenings have always been fun and open. Plus people get to learn a lot in a friendly setting.

47

Another consideration - OLs are never quick and tidy affairs. The venue is unlikely to “turn the tables over” once the OL has come to its conclusion. While that might not be an issue at venues with large capacities, it can definitely have an impact on smaller venues.

And to the Mister Pinks (from “Reservoir Dogs”) out there, is it really such a burden to kick down an extra $5 or so per person to the staff when $20+ corkage fees have been waived?

48

Gene made the point I was going to make, OLs take up a table for most of the night and often leave more detritus behind.

-Al

49

Has this actually happened on many occasions? I’d like to think the “fine wine” set bathes regularly…

50

Generally but they also fart a lot.

51

We know they’re definitely more prone to spitting…

52

I agree, no blame or need to feel ashamed. I’m not confident in my assessment, so I prefer to have a second opinion and let them make the decision if they want to pull the bottle or have further discussion with others. In doing this, I’m hoping that it won’t affect other’s perception of the wine if the bottle was deemed to be fine.

+1 to Chris’ comment about wine bringing us together and Matthew’s reminder for us to get to know others.

53

Don’t wear perfume/cologne and don’t overpour are the two that matter most to me.

54
  1. Always be gracious.
  2. Ask the person that brought it before pouring the last of any bottle
  3. Ask for second pours
  4. Try to be as generous as you can be: Old, rare, low-production, and hard to find are always appreciated.
  5. Don’t man-handle old bottles until they’re empty or in a decanter. You can take your photo after the wine is in the glasses.
55

after reading all this, i am thankful for all my drinking peeps. at the end of the day, it’s all common courtesy.

56

Don’t agree that it depends on the situation.

If you have been given good service and the corkage is waived, your tip should adequately reflect that. Depending on the restaurant and how much corkage was waived, the combined somm’s cash tip and the waitstaff tip should be 50+ percent (unless your group has ordered a kilo of caviar [basic-smile.gif] ).

57

Don’t be a chronic and insensitive hold-my-spot-first-and-decide last-minute-whether-I-want-to-attend-or-not.

58

As someone who has crashed your wine group, I would agree with you, great group of people. champagne.gif

59

Take an Uber home !

60

definitely this. If good service is given by the somm, especially when BYOB, i think a somm cash tip is a nice gesture and shouldn’t be forgotten (also won’t be forgotten by the somm!)