One more rant for fun…
NON-IRRIGATION
One of my more annoying traits is that when someone tells me I must do something, or must believe something, I usually ask why? Just authoritatively telling me doesn’t work, because I find that people are often wrong, while also never being in doubt of their own belief. Things need to make sense to me. And many well-known truths from the Religion of Wine just don’t. I’ve often wondered about the real reason why we do certain things in the process of dirt to vine, and grape to wine. As an example of why I do this, I present my favorite internet meme, The Story of the Pot Roast:
A young woman was hosting a dinner party for her friends and served a delicious pot roast. One of her friends enjoyed it so much that she asked for the recipe, and the young woman wrote it down for her.
Upon looking over the recipe, her friend inquired, “Why do you cut both ends off the roast before it is prepared and put in the pan?” The young woman replied, “I don’t know. I cut the ends off because I learned this recipe from my mom and that was the way she had always done it.”
Her friend’s question got the young woman thinking and so the next day she called her mom to ask her: “Mom, when we make the pot roast, why do we cut off and discard the ends before we set it in the pan and season it?” Her mom quickly replied, “That is how your grandma always did it and I learned the recipe from her.”
Now the young woman was really curious, so she called her elderly grandma and asked her the same question: “Grandma, I often make the pot roast recipe that I learned from mom and she learned from you. Why do you cut the ends off the roast before you prepare it?”
The grandmother thought for a while, since it had been years since she made the roast herself, and then replied, “I cut them off because the roast was always bigger than the pan I had back then. I had to cut the ends off to make it fit.”
I love this meme because I think this is true for so many of the things we do in life. We have been doing them for so long that we rarely stop and question the rationality behind them anymore.
Even though this parable applies to many of the issues I presented before, I think it’s especially pertinent to the discussion of whether or not to irrigate vineyards.
Many regions in France proudly celebrate that irrigation of vineyards is illegal. And that it’s done to create the best possible wines, as irrigation would lead to an inferior product. That notion has become so ingrained that it’s often applied to other regions around the world. Usually as a hammer to say that other places aren’t capable of producing world class wine without cheating via irrigation. My questioning mind wonders if quality really had anything to do with making irrigation illegal. I’ve tried to research it. Heck, I spent an exhaustive 20 minutes searching the internet. I’ve asked lots of learned folks. No one seems to know for sure.
But let me offer up this reasoning and conclusion. One that would survive the sharp application of Occum’s Razor. Consider that one of the most often contested issues in any agricultural area is water. It would seem to me that any governmental oversight of that precious resource would focus on feeding people, and as such water priority would go to fruits, vegetables, and livestock. And a crop such as grapes for wine would be low on the list. And possibly even get cut from the list – hence having to survive on rainfall. That seems like about a million times more logical reason for prohibiting irrigation of vines.
To be fair, I’m not sure what the real reasons are for non-irrigation becoming the law. But even if it was for quality’s sake, it’s a totally ridiculous law.
Because if the goal was truly about increasing quality, why prevent growers from using irrigation when necessary? Is it that you don’t trust them with water? Like it’s the “crack” of viticulture? Never mind that it’s OK that growers make all the other million decisions that affect quality. But that they’re somehow incapable of controlling themselves when H2O is dangled in front of them? Maybe you’re afraid of driving past the vineyards and seeing growers stripped naked, rolling in the sloppy mud amongst the vines, like some bacchanalian orgy of forbidden delights? Actually, that might be the best reason I can think to be anti-irrigation.
We’ve all heard the talk about vines needing to struggle. To be forced to send their roots deep. I guess it’s the vineyard equivalent of the bullshit dime–store philosophy of “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. Which is such a totally asinine phrase. When someone says it, I want to scream. What doesn’t kill you can also emotionally or physically cripple you for life. Care and nurturing are the factors that create strong, healthy vines. You don’t have to spoil the vines, but a little love seems a better approach than some draconian anti-irrigation policy.
It’s obvious that there are years in which vines don’t get enough water and would greatly benefit from the addition of water. Or times during the year when a small amount of water would be beneficial. That simply can’t be debated. It’s an absolute fact. And it seems that the people whose reputation and product are at stake should be allowed to use the most basic tool of agriculture – water – to best achieve their goals. And not just aspirational goals, but often just the goal of making a living. Paying their bills, raising their families. I often hear people say that producers could just declassify the vintage or even skip producing wine in a given year. And those of you saying that can go fuck yourselves. Not all vineyards are owned by large international corporations that can afford to lose the revenue from a year’s crop. These are real people with families to feed. They don’t deserve to be sacrificed on the altar of Myth, Superstition, and Tradition. And for what? Some stupid propagated myth.
I remember when I was a kid playing Little League baseball. Often played on 100-degree days. Yet we were told not to drink water because you’d get cramps. Anyone else remember those times? Stupid right? As years go by, we learn things. We adjust our views as old ideas are shown to be wrong. Or something better comes along. Why do we resist that in the world of wine?
There simply isn’t any defense of non-irrigation. None. Just because it’s available, no one would be forced to use it. It can be used as sparingly as necessary. And no one can deny that there are times it would be hugely beneficial. I think of a country like France, where wine isn’t only integral to their culture, but seems to be a source of great national pride. It’s a virtual mandate that their wine regions produce the most sought-after wines in the world. To leave that precious resource to the unchecked whim of a capricious and seemingly uncaring force like Mother Nature seems unconscionable.
If quality is the goal, and water is available, not allowing irrigation of vineyards is ridiculous.
