I seek the generous!

WINE TALK
1

Good evening everyone,

I put a plea out on Facebook earlier that you yielded no results. Boss-chap Todd suggested I try on here, but I understand entirely if no one bites for reasons I shall explain after my request, which is:

I’m seeking generous benefactors. There are two wines I am desperate to review together, but the total cost of them is £107.40. This is far more than I can even afford to save for in the coming weeks, so I wondered if some of my excellent friends could stiff l me a few quid via PayPal so I could afford these wines. My PayPal address is > david@elitistreview.com > If you kind enough to send me a bit of cash, do say if you want me to advertise your kindness on here or not. Thanks in advance!

I made the original plea because, as some of you know, I am disabled with floridly nasty mental illness that prevents me from workng. Much as I wish I didn’t, I have to rely on government hand outs which, even for someone who, like me, is classed as being severely disabled, amount to tuppence less than piss-all - being able to drop a hundred sheets on two bottles of wine is a luxury I can rarely afford.

Now, my problem with asking on here is I doubt that any Berserkers will ever be in a position to buy, or even taste, the two bottles I seek to do a mini-horizontal with. This is because they are wines from my home county of Hampshire in England.

I am desperately keen to try them because the basic wines from this producer I tasted last week were the first English wines I have tried that were not stunningly noisome. Not only that, they were actually properly fine wines. Given my considerable, misery-infused experiences tasting heinous English wine, my mind was quite literally buggered with a bargepole to find the non-vintage sparkling wines from Exton Park were seriously good. They were real quality wines with their own sense of style and place, not acrid, technicolor yawn-inducing Champagne mockuments like most English fizz. You can read my report here: http://elitistreview.com/2016/03/27/exton-park-qualit-english-sparkling-wine/ (yes, I know I cannot spell ‘quality’ when creating URLs too late now…).

Verily, I was muchly smitten by the three non-vintage fizzers I tasted; so now I want to taste their two first vintage wines. Alas, it is the continuing policy of successive governments to tax our historically dynamic wine trade out of existence, this is true for people producing the (usually loathsome) liquid as well. So the vintage wines from Exton Park are muy expensivo and well beyond the melting point of my debit card, and to score both at the same ime is simply beyond me.

Now you may think I’m being a cheeky rascal asking for money in return for tasting notes of two wines you will probably never hear the name of again. Maybe I am, maybe you would like to point that out to all subsequent readers of this thread (in which case you should be examining your methods for making and keeping friends). However, Tuneful Todd suggested begging on here might be more successful than begging on Facebook, and I sort of hope there enough people here who would get, say, $5 worth of pleasure from reading my effulgent tasting notes, on two wines I expect will make me whoop with delight, so that my scoring vintage English fizz-wheeze will be a goer!

Thank you for reading this extremely long begging letter!

Anon,
Davy.

2

A Berserker Kick Starter of sorts.

$5 sent. … and when you speak of me, speak well.

[video]Bull Durham | "Man, that ball got outta here in a hurry" - YouTube

3

Wow, the audaciousness of this post astounds me. You come here hand in mouth - normally here we are foot in mouth - telling us you want our Yankie money to buy you some cheap British sparklers. And then on your terms!? Oh no, my friend. The terms are ours. I say each each one of us that agrees to toss some coin into the kitty gets to dictate a term. I’m good for $24.99 with the following proviso: the tasting note must be by video posted on this site with you wearing the ducky pants.

What say you, Mr. Strange?

:wink:

4

Huge thanks, Dennis! I’m terribly grateful.

Robert, it’s Dr Strange, actually :wink: I cannot do a condition per lovely, generous person, but I’ll do video tasting notes if there is overwhelming demand. The only problem is, video tasting notes are less funny than written ones (duck cords excepted - I tend to wear purple trousers these days as I have realised purple is the new red; and where I lead, others will follow!), but if the voice of the people wills it I shall see if I can squeeze into my duck cords and get the partner to record me making a callipygian arse of myself. There has to be real demand, though!

Anon,
Capt (retired) Dr David James Strange BA(hons) MA MStd DPhil (Oxon) WSETDip

5

In flat, if I may warm to my theme… There is a poem that starts, “When I am old I shall wear purple”. Bollocks to that! I’m not (terribly) old and I wear purple and I look bloody marvellous! When I walk down Winchester High Street wearing my imperial purple cords the street belongs to me. If I could find a purple jacket to match them ALL of Winchester would belong to me!

Purple is the new red; gentlemen, start your flaneur-ing in the direction of a quality satorial provisions provider and claim your purple trous now! When you walk down the street wearing them people will find it hard not to gaze at an obviously superior being!

Yours purple-y
D.

6

If you could find a purple jacket you’d be the caucasian UK version of this guy:
86103158.jpg

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Well, he’s got a long, white one :wink:

8

Seeing as the good Dr Strange lives in a country governed by Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas Queen, Defender of the Faith, Duchess of Edinburgh, Countess of Merioneth, Baroness Greenwich, Duke of Lancaster, Lord of Mann, Duke of Normandy, Sovereign of the Most Honourable Order of the Garter, Sovereign of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath, Sovereign of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Sovereign of the Most Illustrious Order of Saint Patrick, Sovereign of the Most Distinguished Order of Saint Michael and Saint George, Sovereign of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Sovereign of the Distinguished Service Order, Sovereign of the Imperial Service Order, Sovereign of the Most Exalted Order of the Star of India, Sovereign of the Most Eminent Order of the Indian Empire, Sovereign of the Order of British India, Sovereign of the Indian Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of Burma, Sovereign of the Royal Order of Victoria and Albert, Sovereign of the Royal Family Order of King Edward VII, Sovereign of the Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of the Companions of Honour, Sovereign of the Royal Victorian Order, Sovereign of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of St John of Jerusalem, where the local dosh is the pound sterling, I paid my 24.99 in GBP. I have faith that Dr Strange will be appropriately and colourfully attired, ducky pants or no. [cheers.gif]

9

Davey -

Well la di da, but I am a doctor too. A Juris Doctor, to be exact. Since I think Senor Kaplan is a fancy LA Lawyer, and I’m a just poor country Solicitor, I paid in USD. My math skills suck so my dollar to pound conversion screwed you out of 44 cents. I feel horrible! Todd can swing the difference since this was his idea. And as for purple, about 1/3 of my wardrobe has some purple in it, including a very fine purple linen jacket and a purple plaid, both by Boss. I look rather studly in them, at least Corey tells me so.

I can hear corks popping and fizz fizzing . . . .

10

I’m in for 10 Guineas.

11

I thought that was brewed in Ireland.

12

I thought that’s the slang name for many of us who came from South Philly. [snort.gif]

13

Thank you, Dr Robert! I hope you are using all those skills you learned to good effect. Now I’m an unemployed lunatic all those long hours in the lab or in front of a computer inventing ever more baroque statistical tests, are mainly useful when I want to shout at the television exactly why the latest medical scare story is a pile of old, sweaty rude bits.

Thank you again!

14

There’s a joke somewhere in there about you asking for money because you’re baroque, but I just can’t seem to find it at the moment. [wink.gif]

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I spent a year in school in Scotland and England a few years after Decimal Day (1971). However, there was plenty of old currency still in circulation. £1 = 20 shillings, 1 shilling = 12 pence, and old shillings were commonly used as 5 new pence coins. As I recall, a Guinea was £1 + 1 shilling and was mostly used to include vig at horse races. I also recall being amused at many old timers doing the math in their heads to get from 24ths to decimal. Sorry for the drift.

16

Ten quid sent.
Enjoy!
N

17

Than you, Noah, that’s very kind of you! I really appreciate it!

Cheers!
Davy.

18

$20.00 happily sent.

19

Cheers, Alan!

20

Where are we towards the goal?

If you are still short, I will add if you promise me an autograph from your uncle, Jonathan Strange. I’ll add more if you can wrangle Mr. Norrell’s, as well.