Has anyone read Neal Martin's latest Wine Journal?

WINE TALK
1

Worst. Tasting. Ever…

this is absolutely hilarious…
Some excerpts…

Unfortunately the other bottles were absolute shit.
Really, really, shit.

To cap it all off, as we approached the final lap of the degenerate bottles, Jamie’s canine companion Ivy expressed her own views on the affair by several gaseous emissions, which simply compounded surrealism, the folly of the whole evening.

The tasting notes below provide a disturbing account of how over-exposure to such filthy wine can impair faculties and provoke hallucinations, neurosis and permanent brain damage.

1953 Château Palmer
Err…what pray tell, is this on the nose? Smells swampy…toxic and quaggy. Bet that hasn’t been used in a tasting note before. Smells like discharge from something I do not even want to think about. The palate makes me want to vomit. In fact, I think the palate is vomit. Professional conclusion: past its best.

1959 Paul Jaboulet Côte-Rôtie Les Jumelles
Here we go! Bring it on! One of the greatest Jaboulet wines ever created by this legendary estate and here we have a delectable bouquet that…that…err…reeks of a rotting fish that was putrescent even when it swam about its polluted river. The palate is offensive not just to me, but to the entire human race.

1969 Pierre Ponnelle Bonnes-Mares
This Bonnes-Mares is so grotesque that I might have to recalibrate my entire scoring notation. It’s so abhorrent, so repellent that it has actually broken the axle of the 100-point system. And it is not even insured! At least not for third-party damage like this. Bonnes-Mares? Merde-Mares more like.

1975 Castello di Fonterotoli Chianti Classico
Tuscany here we come. Those rocky hills flecked with Cypress trees, the scent of olives in the air, the delectable cuisine…Mama mia, this is indescribably odious. I think it probably reached the end of its drinking plateau in 1973.

2

Neal is an excellent writer with a great sense of humor. I really enjoy reading his stuff and enjoy having dinner with him when I get to London.

3

Paul

Maybe you can get him to post over here?

4

Looking on the positive side, plainly his bottles weren’t fakes.

5

Neal is my favorite of the younger wine writers. His candor is refreshing.

6

I was a huge fan of his site before he was recruited by Parker, but as a non-subscriber to eBob, I haven’t been able to enjoy his writing in a long while. Too bad.

7

I wonder what the notes would have been from an Audoze dinner? [stirthepothal.gif]

8

I don’t subscribe to ERP either, but I was present at this dinner, which was a lot of fun. In retrospect it was a terrible idea, though. The bottles were all selected for their bad condition and unusable/unsaleable nature, but I think our palates got so clogged up by awfulness that a couple of decent wines slipped through unappreciated. As ever, these should have been disposed of one by one!

9

Neal is a fun writer, and having been at at least one tasting with him, I think I appreciate his palate. I also like David S. I’m very happy the Wine Advocate brought them on board, and they are the main reason I keep my subscription.

Unfortunately “big” Jay and Squires seem to offer shitty reviews and advice, at least for me. I have to laugh out loud at Jay’s Bern’s dinner summaries, as it seems he doesn’t understand older wines in the least.

Anyway, back on topic, Neal’s write up was a blast. [basic-smile.gif]

Cheers!

10

Well, he’s not stupid either. Actually we talked about it but seeing who is paying his mortgage…

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Exactly. Everyone I know who’s met Neal finds him a great guy. He does post over on the UK wine forum.

But he’s not stupid; no way would he come over here as a non-lurker. His boss wouldn’t take too kindly to that, I’m afraid.