Got the stern lecture . . . again

[Barry_L_i_p_t_o_n]

@Merrill Lindquist

Separate credit cards and checking accounts to purchase things without the other person questioning it. Whether it is golf clubs or purses or wine or dresses, I think adults deserve to make their own choices with non-essential funds. Figure out what it takes to run the house/life financially, contribute to a mutual account for this, and get out of each other’s faces on the rest. If one partner is not currently working outside the home, get an account for him/her with direct deposit on a scheduled basis.

You don’t need separate accounts to do this. We have a $ threshold that any purchase below it doesn’t require discussion.

[Dave_Nerland]

I had the same problem. Too much wine. Wife suggested I put a few bottles (1200) up at auction in March. Finally came to the realization I could not drink them in the remaining time I am alive. Sold!

I would tell you to sell as many bottles as you have in offsite storage, put part of the money into an investment account with your wife. Then enjoy your remaining 3500 bottles with and Jerry!

[Dave_Nerland]

Oh and Premier Cru has 2011 Boillot Corton Charlemagne in stock as of this am. Not sure how much is left…

[AAgrawal]

This is the first year that I’ve been effective at controlling the cellar. It’s smaller now than it was 6 months ago, and I’m on track to make a real dent by the end of the year. The key was sticking to buying less than I was drinking, and my only purchases were to balance out weak portions of the cellar.

I realize that’s probably not helpful to you, but I have to take credit wherever I can for doing the impossible!

[Hank_Gillespie]

@Jerry Hey

Alan, I’d like to help you with having too much wine…

I can echo Jerry’s offer of assistance, Alan.

No lectures from Lorraine except that we should be drinking the older wines in the cellar. I try to follow her suggestion, but there is stil a long way to go.

She enjoys fine Burgundies, white and red, along with most of the other wines - Bordeaux, Alsace, Rhone, California, Italy, Australia, Germany and Spain. When she drinks a wine she enjoys very much, the question is generally “Do we have some of that wine?”

Separate accounts? No, but I don’t question her purchases ( wardrobe, redecorating, or…), and she doesn’t question my wine purchases. I have curtailed a lot of purchases, however, realizing that we DO probably have more than we can consume.

Still…Alan’s excess inventory is appealing.

Hank

[Brian_G_r_a_f_s_t_r_o_m]

My wife loves wine, so I rarely get the lecture (of course, I do try to keep things “reasonable.”). It helps that my wife’s birth year is '82, and she likes having some birth year wines around. And she’s the only wife I know of who has literally and seriously uttered the words, “We need more Burgundy in our cellar.”


Yeah … I married up.

[john_stimson]

turn over a new leaf and sell a fair chunk of it. then you will be back to not having enough and will have money to buy with.

[andy_velebil]

@Sarah Kirschbaum

Our only point of contention is that my husband believes wine only comes in base 12. He gets confused if I buy less than a case of something.

Don’t tell him otherwise

[Craig_G]

@alan weinberg

from the wife–we have enough wine. Stop buying. You are killing us. We need to save.

Don’t over-think this. It’s pretty clear you have too many wives.

[CFu]

i’ll buy whatever you don’t want at your cost. I am generous like that. Maybe 10% on top? That’s a nice return.

[Dan_Donahue]

I did some basic arithmetic 5 years ago and basically stopped buying. No pain and we drink very well. I scratch my collector itch with cds of classical music (which has been shockingly inexpensive).

[David_Bu3ker]

@Dan Donahue

I did some basic arithmetic 5 years ago and basically stopped buying. No pain and we drink very well. I scratch my collector itch with cds of classical music (which has been shockingly inexpensive).

That was my habit prior to wine. I should go back to it.

[Dan_Donahue]

@D@vid Bu3ker

@Dan Donahue

I did some basic arithmetic 5 years ago and basically stopped buying. No pain and we drink very well. I scratch my collector itch with cds of classical music (which has been shockingly inexpensive).

That was my habit prior to wine. I should go back to it.

Nice side benefit: no calories in listening to music. Downside: I have caught the audio bug at times.

[todd_waldmann]

@Merrill Lindquist

Separate credit cards and checking accounts to purchase things without the other person questioning it. Whether it is golf clubs or purses or wine or dresses, I think adults deserve to make their own choices with non-essential funds. Figure out what it takes to run the house/life financially, contribute to a mutual account for this, and get out of each other’s faces on the rest. If one partner is not currently working outside the home, get an account for him/her with direct deposit on a scheduled basis.

Sorry Merrill. That seems a bit bonkers for a one income household like ours. Every penny that comes our way is ours. If one of us is doing something financially that the other doesn’t agree with, we discuss it and come up with a plan. Wine, incidentally, is the only topic about which we’ve ever had to have that discussion. Putting funds in a special account for her screams, “I don’t trust you with my money, so here’s a little bit for you.” I would view it as condescending and demeaning and I know she would too.

[CFu]

@todd waldmann

@Merrill Lindquist

Separate credit cards and checking accounts to purchase things without the other person questioning it. Whether it is golf clubs or purses or wine or dresses, I think adults deserve to make their own choices with non-essential funds. Figure out what it takes to run the house/life financially, contribute to a mutual account for this, and get out of each other’s faces on the rest. If one partner is not currently working outside the home, get an account for him/her with direct deposit on a scheduled basis.

Sorry Merrill. That seems a bit bonkers for a one income household like ours. Every penny that comes our way is ours. If one of us is doing something financially that the other doesn’t agree with, we discuss it and come up with a plan. Wine, incidentally, is the only topic about which we’ve ever had to have that discussion. Putting funds in a special account for her screams, “I don’t trust you with my money, so here’s a little bit for you.” I would view it as condescending and demeaning and I know she would too.

If it was two income she’d want it separate

[AlexS]

@Sarah Kirschbaum

Our only point of contention is that my husband believes wine only comes in base 12. He gets confused if I buy less than a case of something.

That’s all very interesting.

So tell me…do you have a sister who’s single?

[AlexS]

@todd waldmann

@Merrill Lindquist

Separate credit cards and checking accounts to purchase things without the other person questioning it. Whether it is golf clubs or purses or wine or dresses, I think adults deserve to make their own choices with non-essential funds. Figure out what it takes to run the house/life financially, contribute to a mutual account for this, and get out of each other’s faces on the rest. If one partner is not currently working outside the home, get an account for him/her with direct deposit on a scheduled basis.

Sorry Merrill. That seems a bit bonkers for a one income household like ours. Every penny that comes our way is ours. If one of us is doing something financially that the other doesn’t agree with, we discuss it and come up with a plan. Wine, incidentally, is the only topic about which we’ve ever had to have that discussion. Putting funds in a special account for her screams, “I don’t trust you with my money, so here’s a little bit for you.” I would view it as condescending and demeaning and I know she would too.

Not bonkers.

Lots of married/life-partners have success with this kind of financial understanding.

[J_Galang]

@todd waldmann

@Merrill Lindquist

Separate credit cards and checking accounts to purchase things without the other person questioning it. Whether it is golf clubs or purses or wine or dresses, I think adults deserve to make their own choices with non-essential funds. Figure out what it takes to run the house/life financially, contribute to a mutual account for this, and get out of each other’s faces on the rest. If one partner is not currently working outside the home, get an account for him/her with direct deposit on a scheduled basis.

Sorry Merrill. That seems a bit bonkers for a one income household like ours. Every penny that comes our way is ours. If one of us is doing something financially that the other doesn’t agree with, we discuss it and come up with a plan. Wine, incidentally, is the only topic about which we’ve ever had to have that discussion. Putting funds in a special account for her screams, “I don’t trust you with my money, so here’s a little bit for you.” I would view it as condescending and demeaning and I know she would too.

Actually not that complicated for me and my spouse. We have two incomes but always merge our incomes into one big pot with total transparency (so you can sort of treat this as one income). We first set aside the essentials, like housing, retirement, monthly bills and food essentials, and then agree upon a set amount of “personal disposable income” for each person. She buys whatever she wants and so do I with these funds. I use these funds to buy my wine (among other things), BUT I was also able to negotiate a modest amount of funds for wine that is part of the “food essentials” as we invite friends over pretty regularly and also open bottles on birthdays and special occasions. This usually amounts to $200 a month (this is a personal number), enough for 2-really nice bottles /month or 5-good bottles a month. The rest of the wines above this amount I buy with my personal disposable income allowance.

[Sarah_Kirschbaum]

@Brian G r a f s t r o m

My wife loves wine, so I rarely get the lecture (of course, I do try to keep things “reasonable.”). It helps that my wife’s birth year is '82, and she likes having some birth year wines around. And she’s the only wife I know of who has literally and seriously uttered the words, “We need more Burgundy in our cellar.”


Yeah … I married up.

Um, I am a wife, and I have absolutely said we need more Burgundy!

I recognize how lucky I am to have married someone with equal passion for wine. That he has even more knowledge and experience, without a stitch of pretension, is a true blessing.

But, if we start talking about the scotch purchases, it’s a whole different discussion…

[Rich_Brown]

@Sarah Kirschbaum

@Brian G r a f s t r o m

My wife loves wine, so I rarely get the lecture (of course, I do try to keep things “reasonable.”). It helps that my wife’s birth year is '82, and she likes having some birth year wines around. And she’s the only wife I know of who has literally and seriously uttered the words, “We need more Burgundy in our cellar.”


Yeah … I married up.

Um, I am a wife, and I have absolutely said we need more Burgundy!

I recognize how lucky I am to have married someone with equal passion for wine. That he has even more knowledge and experience, without a stitch of pretension, is a true blessing.

But, if we start talking about the scotch purchases, it’s a whole different discussion…

Sounds to me like we need a follow up scotch thread…