We used to have a new years eve party every year - this was 30 some years ago, and we all would purchase our champagnes throughout the year to have something special for that evening -
It was the usual 6-8 couples, and as the party started, we all laid out our champagnes, oohing and aahing over them - the food was all set up and we were ready to start.
Then out of the blue, a very close friend walks in the door with a bottle of Cooks champagne and a very young floozy (dressed to the hilt with fishnet stockings, leather mini and f**kme boots) he had met (that was NOT his wife) - and his wife was of course best friends with all the other women in the room, so you can imagine the anger that followed.
Us guys were angry because he only brought one bottle of a $4 bubbly, the girls were upset because he was cheating on his wife (they ended up getting divorced that same year) -
Around two in the morning, this floozy was sitting in a chair and suddenly just passed out and fell over fast and her head hit the ground with the biggest “womp” you have ever heard.
There was silence for one second, then we all burst out laughing so hard the place was shaking.
I don’t get it. Why would someone bring wine to a party, put it on the table, and then expect it not to get open?<<<<<
And to put it more into context, it was an outdoor party/BBQ and the table had in Dusty’s estimation 35 bottles, some open, some not. That’s almost by definition a wine free-for-all, like one of Jay Hack’s Berserkerfest parties - if you don’t get to try a particular wine, suck it up, move on and try one of the next five.
To me, the guy that grabbed the bottle out of the other person’s hand was a clueless jackass.
In a group of mine a few years back, a long-time member who was a profound lover of German wines going back decades turned 70. He didn’t like tannins, not even soft tannins. So, for the occasion, we all brought top-drawer whites, mostly old rieslings. Mature, high-pradikat Prums, von Schuberts, and so on. You get the picture.
What did the guest of honor serve? A no-name 1976 Ortega (the grape) TBA. TBA = DOA. Prune syrup.
We left the place shaking our heads. “What a schmuck,” someone said.
First offline I ever did (and probably one of the first few ever as it was in 1997 and all the people were from AOL) a guy whom everyone thought was a baller and was excited to have come brought some mid-tier CA Pinot. That would be fine if disappointing. He brought a bucket of KFC as well. So weird. There were other things with that same event that were also very odd/interesting. The KFC sort of takes the cake. I could write paragraphs about that tasting however.
A member of one of my groups had a nice brunch one spring day, and there were a few nice wines being consumed. A fella from the occassional intersection of another group showed up over an hour late and proceeded to complain about how 3 or 4 of the “nicer” wines were already empty. Once he was done complaining, he pulled out his magnum de mediocre and started complaining again.
Another event with multiple groups intersecting…my group put all our nice wines out on the table opened. A guy in the other group kept his bottle(s) in hand and walked around with it in front of everyone until empty, only pouring for his buds. I have no issue with him sharing with his buds but why not just bring something to share around and get together with the buds another night?
Neither of the previous two events were “funny”, so…there was a big offline I went to where we had a small bus take us to and fro the wine dinner event. “Bus is leaving” someone cried out, so everyone proceeded to pour themselves 20 oz pours of Insignia from Magnum prior to getting on the bus. Singing commenced. A comrade kinda fell asleep (aka passed out) in the back of the bus and woke up with post it notes all over his head and body!
A number of years ago we had an offline dinner with Serge Hochar owner of Chateau Musar in NYC. Everyone was prescribed to bring various vintages. One individual showed up not bringing the vintage he said he would. Then he would not pour his bottle for anyone else. We then found out that he made his wife wait outside the whole evening during the dinner.
The very first AOL offline, in the first year of its wine board, was at a restaurant in San Rafael, CA. There were about 4 or 5 of us there. It isn’t really funny but sort of interesting. One of the attendee’s was the night watchman at Martine’s (the dominant importer of rare European wines at that time.) After dinner we had a field trip through the warehouse. It was look but don’t touch. Case and cases of rare and ultra rare stuff. I’m sure the next morning somebody wondered about all the drool on the floor–it was mine.
The very first Historic Vineyard Society Vineyard Tour & Dinner was small event with only winemakers, press, and bloggers, and a couple humble Berserkers, finishing with a private dinner at the Ridge Lytton Springs tasting room. There were somewhere around 20-25 people at the dinner, and a sign outside saying “closed for a private event.” Some guy happened by and decided to see if he could sit down and blend in. There were just enough people it seems that nobody realized he didn’t belong, until he got totally hammered, made a scene, and spilled wine all over Mike Dunne and his copious notes from the day. He got the hell out of there and left everybody looking around saying “who was that guy?” …and… “I thought he was with you.”
Anyway, lesson learned. If you ever see a sign that says “closed for a private event” check out what wine they’re pouring before inviting yourself in.
In 2006, on somewhat short notice I was invited to the premier Burgundy tasting group in Honolulu. The theme was 1996 Grand Crus, ten years on. I owned only one, a mere Chapelle Chambertin that I thought would be too young, so I bought and brought a Moillard Chambertin. It was not memorable, but neither were the others (probably because they were ten years old). After the flight, the group leader, sitting to my right, complained about the overall quality. “C’mon, people, step it up!” I immediately chimed in, “Yeah – I want my DRC!”
Funny, I was never invited back.
The theme at my only other OL was mature Italians. Having learned my lesson, I brought a 1967 Marchese di Barolo Reserva. The state’s foremost wholesaler immediately comandeered it for himself and a few best buddies. I got about 6 oz to share with my host and one other young attendee whom I wanted to be sure got a taste. (Years later he still remembers it.)
Funny, I have never sought out another OL here – which is too bad, because I now have a lot of interesting/au courant/pricey/if-not-bucket-at-least-sandpail-list bottles to share.
I had a guy at a CLONYC (first timer, recco’d from someone else) follow me to the bar area as I went to pay the bill and watched my math as I calculated tip. He told me 20% makes his bill $85 to which I said “I have never given any server at any of my offlines 20% in my life”— “Please give me $100 for this dinner”. The serving staff do pretty well at my CLONYCs, so well they fight to work the night.
Hmm debating about telling the stories as I have a handful but dont want to embarrass or throw anyone under the bus, so if anyone reads and thinks its them dont reply please . I am omitting any back stories/dates/names to protect the guilty. Just the bare facts. All happened at different offlines spanning approx. 10 years.
Saw someone drink from a dump bucket.
Saw someone passout in bathroom
Saw someone relieve themselves on themselves
We had an Old Vine offline at Pizzeria Rosso in SR a couple years back for 19 Bererskers toting 33 bottles where we figured around $40/head would cover the cost including tip. When the evening was winding up I collected the funds from everyone and the waitress came over with tab of like $425. I stuck $760 in the glass and thanked her for the great service. I’ll bet they are hoping we come back as well.
![[cheers.gif]](/uploads/db3686/original/2X/0/0ff9bfcdb0964982cd3240b6159868fbdf215b1a.gif "cheers"){kind=small}
![[wow.gif]](/uploads/db3686/original/2X/7/7d450e9830889c8943b674446a21b7254cad657e.gif "wow"){kind=small}
. I am omitting any back stories/dates/names to protect the guilty. Just the bare facts. All happened at different offlines spanning approx. 10 years.