Etiquette for bringing wine to a wedding/related parties

WINE TALK
1

I was wondering, under what circumstances would you bring wine to a wedding (reception)? I have a cousin who is getting married, and I am not what you’d call close to her and her fiancé, but we’re on good terms (we just hardly Ever see each other and don’t keep in regular contact otherwise, though I do with her brother). I’ve no clue if they or any other family members (except for my immediate) drink wine with any enthusiasm, but… I pretty much doubt it.

So, bad idea to bring wine to the wedding reception to share? LOL, or does it depend on what the wine is… They will have either a cash bar or open bar, so the concern is not drinking in general.

2

you actually might have to check with the venue. Some are really strict about not allowing it. Ours didn’t care as we purchased our own alcohol insurance so the wine folk brought a bunch of wine.

3

Almost seems like a joke/troll question, but since you asked…

Sounds tacky and would probably be very insulting to your hosts. It would certainly seem snobbish to anyone who noticed. Surely you can either put up with a beverage they offer, or do without, for an evening.

4

Good point about the venue.

I mostly ask because I’ve seen so many people mentioning it, but the weddings they are talking about may be their own, their children’s or whatnot, in which case you’re obviously in a different position than would be a normal guest, albeit family, and have greater freedom, etc…

The very things you mention Randy would be my concern as well, hence the question.

5

Have to go with Randy on this one. Unless you are told you can BYOB, don’t. My venue charged a stiff corkage fee and we worked out special arrangements in advance. I had to tell people not to bring wine, as there were many winos in attendance, but I took good care of them.

6

It’s not your party - it’s the hosts. If this is something you want to do check with them.

7

The best is going to a wedding of wine geeks where they ask each table to freely BYO additional bottles. I had SOOO much fun at Marc Lazar’s wedding!

8

I’m a guy who brings wine almost everywhere, but I don’t think I would even consider doing it in that situation, unless there were some specific green light (i.e. bride and groom encouraged me to do so without my having asked).

If you just can’t make it through the evening without some grand vin (and I’m not judging you, you’re among fellow Wine Berzerkers here), I’d probably go clandestine. Keep the open bottle in the side room or your car or something and surreptitiously slip away go fill your glass when nobody is looking.

We’re here for you. [cheers.gif]

9

Never! Why risk embarrassing them and making them look like they did not treat their guests right. The closest I ever got was I once brought a bottle to a wedding reception, gave it to the bride and groom (he was an employee of mine), told them that it was for them to drink by themselves and expressly told them that I did not want to drink any of it because I brought it for them, not for me.

10

agree with all above
but a flask of whisky for the ceremony is sometimes in order

11

it was for me at my wedding!

12

Agree with everyone else, its not your party, its theirs. And bringing wine to drink will draw unwanted attention to yourself, and if the crowd are non wine-drinkers, it will probably appear as a very rude and snobbish i.e. you bring the wine because you expect that the wine served will be below your drinking standard.

13

That’s why God invented beer.

14

+1 Wine at weddings generally sucks. Mixed drinks and beer are the way to go. Show some flexibility.

15

Reminds me of a reception several years ago at fire house/catering hall. Went up to the bar to get a glass of wine, they had carafes on ice that were filled from a box so passed on that, asked for a vodka drink and all that was available was some cheap well brand, at that point moved to beer it was the safest thing to do.

16

You guys are stating it way too politely. Sorry bro, but I believe that under absolutely no circumstances should you ever bring your own bottle of wine to drink. It will make everyone involved in putting on the wedding feel like crap that they couldn’t afford to get their guests the good stuff – and the thing is costing them more than enough as it is.

The only two exceptions that would be permissible are:

  1. It’s a wedding gift to the bride and groom to do as they please with.

  2. You are the master of ceremonies and specifically have brought the bottle for the head wedding table to open and toast with. That means you have to talk about the wine during your speech and explain why you brought it to toast them with: special memory associated with the wine, have been saving it specifically for this occasion, birth wine of bride/groom, etc. Thus, nobody will be offended because it went to a special purpose.

Look, we all know wedding wine sucks. I grew up Jewish. You know how much crappy Manischewitz and kosher wine I’ve had to down as a kid at weddings? Is it any wonder I was a non-drinker most of my adult life after being raised on that?

It’s barely any better as an adult but here’s my personal solution to dealing with crappy wedding wine. I tell the bartender to mix a single serving of wine with orange juice and Sprite and ask for lemon and lime slices and maraschino cherries if he has any. Voila. Instant sangria.

Personally, if I ever get married, I would make sure that since we have to go affordable on the wine we at least get some great QPR Riesling Spatlese, Moscato D’Asti, Brachetto D’Acqui, Clairette de Die and a passable Ontario Pinot Noir. The head table would toast with one single bottle of the greatest sweet wine in my personal collection at that point.

17

Definitely not a byob event, even if the hosts says it’s OK, 99% of the time. Often they are just trying to seem nice. Can’t you grasp how inappropriate it would be if they were serving some blandish wine for the dinner (they have to maintain some sort of budget) and you jerk out a SQN or other really nice wine to enjoy by yourself!!! [snort.gif]

Considering bringing your own stemware also, concerned that the facilities glassware may be inappropriate for your wine?

Really poor taste, don’t even think about it!!

18

Bring a single bottle and pull a Nixon!

19

I grew up in a family of teetotalers, that hung out with a lot of other teetotalers… When I got old enough to drink and childhood friends were getting married there were a lot of dry receptions… I was the king of the flask of scotch!

20

Yeah, it helps when your dad owns a winery… neener

Anyway, I agree that the general etiquette answer is that you don’t bring your own wine to a wedding reception or other party UNLESS the hosts have already indicated that it’s OK. Part of it is that the venue may not allow it (as mentioned above), and part of it is that you’re sending the message that you expect the wine served to be crap. Even if the wine served IS crap, sometimes you just have to suck it up. Or have a different beverage. From the perspective of the non-wine geeks, it would be as if you decided the reception food was crap and you pulled out your own Beef Wellington and served yourself.

Luckily, I attended a wedding the other weekend where the bride arranged for very nice wines to be served, AND made it clear that people were welcome to bring special bottles to share as well. It was a nice excuse to bust out a 1988 Haut Brion, which I most certainly would not have done had it been a typical civilian wedding.

Bruce