Esther Mobley tells you how to look like a total newb

WINE TALK
21

I get the sentiment but I disagree with the literal statement. If we all just settled for what we liked we’d be barely beyond cavemen.

I could be working a dead-end job in central Illinois, listening to Toby Keith, fuelling my “lifestyle” with nothing more than Mountain Dew, McDonalds, and Bud Light. I LOVED IT. But it occurred to me that, hey, maybe there were a few things going on in the world that I didn’t understand, and maybe it’s just worth a little investment of effort on my part try and grasp them.

It’s not like people come out of the cabbage patch fully-evolved and with a natural thirst for 30 year old Chinon.

Well, other than Alfert…

22

LOL, I once walked a vineyard with an experienced winemaker who is well-regarded on this board. He grabbed a few grapes and tasted them. I asked him what information he gets from doing that. He kind of shrugged and said he wasn’t sure if it was even that useful.

23

I’m sure the winemaker would find these questions enjoyable. However, the article is about visiting wineries during harvest. The chance of having any substantive time with the winemaker during that time is almost zero. I’m sure the tasting room employees would be amused at someone asking them how they make their picking decisions.

24

Confession: I pronounce Domaine Leroy “Doe-main Lee-Roy,” like Leeroy Jenkins and I still found her article funny.

If I am at a wine nerd wine tasting, I will call it “Kai-moo Cabernet” and “Me-oh-My pinot noir” in a discussion and see what happens.

We need to constantly subvert the seriousness of the hobby at all times. Otherwise, we fall for it when someone calls a wine “serious,” or, my favorite: “This is an intellectual wine…”
Ha!

25

When I worked the tasting room at a small winery, I knew these things and more. I also participated in the blending trials and did some other odd jobs when needed in the back. The point being, I knew our product well and there were very few questions I couldn’t answer. I loved it when customers asked because it made a better experience for them and was more enjoyable for me as well. Not to mention, the better their experience, the more they normally bought.

I ask questions wherever we stop. It doesn’t take much to figure out if the person pouring knows anything more than the script they have been told to repeat. Often times they don’t, but I have found that many times they do and if they don’t they will find someone who does know the answers to my questions.

26

+1

27

I think that this thread is a good example of why people don’t like wine snobs. Like rock snobs. Or art snobs.

28

You’ll be making a rose this year?

29

I managed a fairly geeky tasting room on HWY 29 for two years. I would have killed to have these questions (which then become conversations) vs. listening to a tasting room associate and customer talk at each other about things neither seem interested in.

Ha! I’ve always said no, never, not gonna happen. To make it well, it is the most amount of winemaking for the least amount of return for something that has a cultural expiration date. That being said, I saw a great rosé vineyard the other day [stirthepothal.gif]

I wanted to chime in on tasting grapes-- Unless you make wine strictly by #s, I can’t imagine not tasting grapes as a key part of the winemaking process. Plus, they are delicious. Visitors light up when they taste a grape or non-fermenting juice. It is a different and wonderful taste. If you want to go further and really blow someone’s mind, give them a partially fermented whole berry flirtysmile

30

Viva la revalucion!!!

31

That was my first thought. And, that during crush you are least likely to encounter pourers who can answer these questions. Maybe this should be: “How to badly fake you know anything by asking some poor server questions they don’t know the answer to, and make your tasting experience as awkward as possible.”

32

Yes, it sounds patronizing as stated. It’s all the non-curious need - find what they like and leave it at that. But, as a starting point for novices, it’s important to let the know they aren’t supposed to like particular wines. They should find what they like. If so inclined, they can start exploring from what turns them on.

[quote=", post:17, topic:154580"]
BTW, who comes to an enthusiast site as a newbie and doesn’t expect snark?
[/quote]

I suspect most newbies who visit here aren’t expecting the snark they typically get. Which is why there’s a certain barrier to participation. A bit of self-selection: people who can deal with it remain, those who can’t (or don’t want to) don’t. Now, I don’t think we’re nearly as snarky as a decade ago, but there is definitely some.

Those who can’t take the snark return to their wine blogs and overwhelming sense of self-importance in their safe spaces.

33

This is a false dichotomy you’ve presented. There is a third way: visit a winery, describe your likes and dislikes in your own words, display a little humility about what you don’t know, and pick up a little knowledge along the way. This approach is not hard, and no one’s going to think less of anyone who uses it. Elegantly simple, no?

34

[/quote]

Those who can’t take the snark return to their wine blogs and overwhelming sense of self-importance in their safe spaces.
[/quote]

I don’t know you, and I’m sure you’re just a great guy to be around, and that your wife/ kids/neighbors/coworkers/cat all think that you’re a swell dude, but that’s a douche comment.

35

I think the advice to ask about tasting a grape is a great one, especially for people who aren’t yet beyond the pale in their love of wine. Tasting grapes at differing levels of ripeness, seeing the differences in flavor and texture between pulp, skin, and seeds, can really eye-opening for people who haven’t done it before (it was for me). Tasting mid-ferment whole berries that haven’t yet popped (mmm, fizzy!), or tasting partially fermented wine, can also be lots of fun.

36

Those who can’t take the snark return to their wine blogs and overwhelming sense of self-importance in their safe spaces.
[/quote]

I don’t know you, and I’m sure you’re just a great guy to be around, and that your wife/ kids/neighbors/coworkers/cat all think that you’re a swell dude, but that’s a douche comment.
[/quote]

Well as a “newbie” I was not going to reply that way but well said! [highfive.gif]

37

It was kind of tangential snark. Over the years there have been a number of self-important wine bloggers who’ve come on to various wine forums who couldn’t handle constructive criticism or any sort of conversation. Used to pontificating with absolute certainty to other novices, getting corrected on their endless false declarations sent them huffing off. Some people aren’t interested in learning. Of course this was back when everyone and their dog had a blog and thought that made them instant experts.

One of my favorite was a guy who just reposted the majority of other peoples’ blog posts on his, and responded to the different points in a way only someone with severe reading comprehension issues could. His sold t-shirts for his blog.

As far as the topic goes, a sterile checklist of questions is just that. People can just come in to try some wines; they can think about what they’re curious about in general about wine, do some research and formulate some good questions; they can look at the websites and other resources to do some research about the specific wineries, and formulate questions from there.

The burden should really be on the staff to allow visitors to feel relaxed, open doors to various questions, inspire questions. Some people just want a pour, others are there to explore, which includes coming across things they couldn’t have expected, which may pique an interest and conversation on some tangent or another.

38

Once someone can feel umbrage over a goofy wine thread reply, that person is no longer a “newb.” That person is a Wine Berserker!

[berserker.gif]

39

I have to say that when I first saw the title of the OP and then of the article my reaction, like Nate’s, was that the point must be that pestering the winemaker with a bunch of heavy/detailed questions right during the single busiest and most sleep-deprived time of year is a good way to get pruning shears or a hose inserted into an unwelcoming portion of your anatomy.

Since that wasn’t it, the last thing I’d say those questions make you look like is a newb. In the wrong context, I suppose, they might make you look like you’re showing off, particularly if you are, but in general they seem like fine questions if asked by someone genuinely interested in the answers and of someone at the winery who is in a position to know the answer and who isn’t working 22 hour days at the time. Put another way, they are fine questions to move to the next level of understanding beyond “what percentage of cab and merlot do you use in this blend?”

40

I really hope you do this properly and say Doe-main LeeeEEEEeee-ROOOYYYY. [berserker.gif] [berserker.gif]