This is my behavior too. Top food – good wine. Good food – top wine. If one mus´t care for money it do´t matter. But top wine is expensive anyway. Why paying even 300%+ more for the same? Furthermore most chefs I know – and I know a few – would be happy if you focus on the food – not the wine. The restaurant owner will see things different – but not the guys who really cook your meal.
Enjoyed a marvelous dinner at EMP last night and wanted to post that I ordered the last 2015 Juge. It was a delightful wine that went great with several courses. Flying home today and will post a TN on CT when we land.
As to the approach for wine with dinner - Having just been I would probably suggest the pairings. For volume and variety, it’s hard to beat. Or better yet, start with a Manhattan cart, a glass of champagne, and another white or red depending on your preference. The somms are very friendly and happy to help. They also have 97 yquem btg which worked great with cheese and dessert courses.