Do you ever bring wine to a wedding reception?

[I_Howe]

I went to the wedding of a close relative (cousin) a few weeks ago. His new wife’s parents paid for everything. There were a couple of other cousins there that we are close with, and we all enjoy wine and we debated bringing some bottles. In the end, we decided against it. There was regular wine for all of the guests, and upgraded wine for the wedding party and some relatives.

Here is my picture of my wine for the evening, 2013 Caymus in a Solo cup.

[Chris_Blum]

@Craig G

@Chris Blum

In all seriousness; do Not ask the host. Do not put them in the uncomfortable position of having to say “yes” to your boorish behavior. Suck it up. Don’t be that guy.

You are saying to the host “your wine sucks”, you “are cheap/a bad host” and “I’m an elitist”. At the reception you are saying “you other guests are not part of my private club”. It’s just not cool.

Just to be clear, he should do it without asking, right?

Nailed it!

[Chris_Seiber]

@Nick Ellis

Agree with everyone else who says “don’t do it”. I have a twist on the question though. At my own upcoming wedding we will be serving a solid but not spectacular northern Rhone during the last two courses. The restaurant has a 2004 Cappellano on the menu (it doesn’t say which one, so I’m guessing Rupestris), which we cannot afford to serve to everyone, and most attendees don’t really care for Nebbiolo anyway. Would it be rude to serve the Cappellano to myself and the two other people who would enjoy it while serving the syrah to everyone else? Do I get an exemption because I’m in the wedding party?

I don’t think this is any problem, for the wedding party table to have something different. Doubtful people will notice or care if they do.

[John_Ammons]

@Wes Barton

Generally, no. If it’s a situation where you’d have to do it discretely, the answer is no.

But, with the right group of friends and the right venue it can be no problem, or encouraged. At a casual venue where you happily share (and offer) with anyone interested, it can work well.

I think this is the best response thus far. I’m surprised at the one size fits all takes on this.

Are their venues/situations where this would be boorish and unacceptable? Sure. But take for example the wedding I attended last weekend (my cousin). It was in a venue where the groom worked and was not a place that would typically hold a reception. The wine (Apothic Red and its ilk) was being served at a table by “volunteers”. Had a brought a bottle or bottles and served it to those at our table, then (1) nobody would have known the difference, and (2) if they had nobody would have cared. The wine was actually supplied on a potluck basis as I understand it. Sure wish I’d brought something!

[Keith_A_k_e_r_s]

@A. So

@Matt Latuchie

oh yeah…here are the notes (notes are from WB’er Adrian So):

CellarTracker! Tim's wedding

“The groom is requesting a glass of the 2000 Krug”

Best.wedding.ever.


There are very few cases where I would bring my own wine. The case of the above CT notes was one of those cases. Granted, the groom set things up so that our table would be the “wine table”, so it was known going in what we were doing.

Basically, check with those getting married and go from there.

[lleichtman]

If you want to bring it as a present for the bride and groom or their families, that is OK but for yourself, rude rude rude. I have done the wine planning and buying for two kid’s weddings. It is a big project and one I take pride in. For someone to then show up with their own bottle is insulting.

[Mike_Cohen]

Bottom line is that it should be recognized that the wedding is about the bride and groom not the attendees and their wine fetishes.

[Arv_R]

If its a big reception, no one will notice. Just keep the open bottles under the table. Done it tons of times. People drink lots at weddings, and one will likely be sharing, so bring enough wine!

Obviously if its 20 person reception that doesn’t fly. But at a typical 150-300 person kind of shebang no one should really care.

[AndrewH]

@Nick Ellis

Agree with everyone else who says “don’t do it”. I have a twist on the question though. At my own upcoming wedding we will be serving a solid but not spectacular northern Rhone during the last two courses. The restaurant has a 2004 Cappellano on the menu (it doesn’t say which one, so I’m guessing Rupestris), which we cannot afford to serve to everyone, and most attendees don’t really care for Nebbiolo anyway. Would it be rude to serve the Cappellano to myself and the two other people who would enjoy it while serving the syrah to everyone else? Do I get an exemption because I’m in the wedding party?

Yes. And for OP don’t do it.

I was in a situation like Nick proposes, but on the other side. Father of bride was serving decent but nothing special Champagne (or sparkling) and wine to guests, but had pulled out special bottles from his cellar for the head table. Sitting right next to it and watching the Dom flow there while being served Mumm Napa seemed a bit, well, off. [don’t recall actual wines, but it was that kind of contrast]. Wedding reception was otherwise lovely. But you run the risk someone (like me, or other Berserkers, notices).

[AndrewH]

@Chris Blum

I told my wife about this and here is what she said:

“Most wedding cake is that dry boring white stuff with the sugary white frosting. Since I’m sharing a table with some friends who love to bake, would it be okay for me to bring a special cake from a gourmet bakery that our table could share?”

Well played!

[Dav1dZ]

@Arv R

If its a big reception, no one will notice. Just keep the open bottles under the table. Done it tons of times. People drink lots at weddings, and one will likely be sharing, so bring enough wine!

Obviously if its 20 person reception that doesn’t fly. But at a typical 150-300 person kind of shebang no one should really care.

Of course people notice. They just don’t say anything, because who wants to pick a fight at a wedding. But I assure you, the bride (and or the mother of the bride) notice everything. That being said, plenty of people are rude at weddings so if you want to be rude because you can’t go one night drinking crap, then be rude - you’re no different than the guy who shows up in a grey suit to a black tie wedding or the person who talks during the father of the bride’s speech. It happens.

[Nick_Ellis]

@AndrewH

I was in a situation like Nick proposes, but on the other side. Father of bride was serving decent but nothing special Champagne (or sparkling) and wine to guests, but had pulled out special bottles from his cellar for the head table. Sitting right next to it and watching the Dom flow there while being served Mumm Napa seemed a bit, well, off. [don’t recall actual wines, but it was that kind of contrast]. Wedding reception was otherwise lovely. But you run the risk someone (like me, or other Berserkers, notices).

My bride is among the group that is not fans of Nebbiolo, so it isn’t going to happen anyway, but I have to admit that it would seem “a bit, well, off”.

[Jay_Miller]

@John Ammons

@Wes Barton

Generally, no. If it’s a situation where you’d have to do it discretely, the answer is no.

But, with the right group of friends and the right venue it can be no problem, or encouraged. At a casual venue where you happily share (and offer) with anyone interested, it can work well.

I think this is the best response thus far. I surprised at the one size fits all takes on this.

Agreed. I’ve done it twice. Once at Greg dal Piaz’s wedding when he asked all the wine geek invitees to sit together and bring bottles he’d enjoy drinking. Once at the wedding of a good friend with whom I had gone in on some cases of '85 Bordeaux futures with one other friend and one of the wine stores went out of business before delivering our Lynch Bages. I eventually bought one bottle on my own and was looking for a time to open it when all 3 of us would be present (not an easy task since by then we lived in 3 different states). I asked if his reception would be okay and he said go for it.

For the wedding of the son of a friend I’d be really hesitant.

[Anton_D]

@Sanjay Nandurkar

If you are desperate you can have a glass or two of good wine at home before you come.

Awesome answer. Ain’t nothing finer than getting lit up before going to a wedding.

Your good cheer and heightened sense of humor should be put on prominent display for all to appreciate. Maybe even and extra toast…but be sure not to break your glass when you bang it with that spoon.

I saw someone’s mom try that at a friend’s wedding:

It was awesome. Long story, suffice to say she ended up carried to and then locked on the bow of the boat until we sailed back to shore. She kept threatening to jump, but let everyone down.

[J_a_y_H_a_c_k]

Not your style, Peter. That’s SQN In the Abstract and SQN And an Eight Track. My son likes white wines and he liked the Sine Qua Non The Moment, so I thought I would go for SQN white and SQN Rose for that flight.

The 1999 Pol Roger Sir Winston Churchill blew away the 2004 Dom Perignon, by the way.

@Peter Kleban

@J a y H a c k

DO NOT DO IT!!! DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

The only times I have brought wine to a wedding reception were:

1. I brought a special bottle just for the bride and groom when the groom worked for me. I told them the it was for them and I would not taste it under any circumstances unless they thought it was corked and they wanted me to check.

2. My son’s own wedding. We had only 10 people and we certainly ALL drank very well.

What a nice picture! Don’t know when this was, but congrats to your son & DIL.

7 bottles for 10 people, that’s the spirit! What are nos 3 and 6 from the left, I can’t read the labels (just curious)?

[Ramon_C]

@Anton D

@Sanjay Nandurkar

If you are desperate you can have a glass or two of good wine at home before you come.

Awesome answer. Ain’t nothing finer than getting lit up before going to a wedding.

We were not desperate, but we did that, too, right before my friend brought 2 bottles (with permission) that we consumed at wedding.

I didn’t think it’s rude and neither did any of the bride-or-groom’s respective parties. After all, my friend asked berfore-hand if he could and the pleasant answer was he could. We quietly drank our wines at the table while everybody partied everywhere in a very large 2-floor venue with tables on terraces surrounding and overlooking the main stage . We’ve seen more rude behaviors by others who danced so embarrassingly ugly (they obviously didn’t think they stunk it up) and others who made unsolicited comments while there were speeches being delivered. Yep, bad plonks can do that to a few attendees. We had our photos taken when the couple made the rounds of the tables and our bottles stood out. We were happy with our wines and so sorry to those who obviously were salivating at not having any good stuff to drink.

[Victor_Hong]

If you know the couple well, just ask kindly, and accept whatever they wish.

But, then, I brought my old girlfriend and my wife brought her old boyfriend to our wedding,
as a different form of BYO.

[JLee]

@R Cabrera

@Anton D

@Sanjay Nandurkar

If you are desperate you can have a glass or two of good wine at home before you come.

Awesome answer. Ain’t nothing finer than getting lit up before going to a wedding.

We were not desperate, but we did that, too, right before my friend brought 2 bottles (with permission) that we consumed at wedding.

I didn’t think it’s rude and neither did any of the bride-or-groom’s respective parties. After all, my friend asked berfore-hand if he could and the pleasant answer was he could. We quietly drank our wines at the table while everybody partied everywhere in a very large 2-floor venue with tables on terraces surrounding and overlooking the main stage . We’ve seen more rude behaviors by others who danced so embarrassingly ugly (they obviously didn’t think they stunk it up) and others who made unsolicited comments while there were speeches being delivered. Yep, bad plonks can do that to a few attendees. We had our photos taken when the couple made the rounds of the tables and our bottles stood out. We were happy with our wines and so sorry to those who obviously were salivating at not having any good stuff to drink.

I think one reasonable way to think about it is you would rather not make anyone at a wedding sorry that you have something better to drink than they do. Or anyone anywhere really.

[Ramon_C]

@JLee

I think one reasonable way to think about it is you would rather not make anyone at a wedding sorry that you have something better to drink than they do. Or anyone anywhere really.

If that’s how you feel, then I suspect that you don’t get to attend off-lines held at public restaurants.

[M_A_T_T_H_A_R_T_L_E_Y]

@jmdavidson

We will be going to the wedding of a son of one of our friends this weekend. At our table will be three other couples, who like ourselves, enjoy drinking good wine. Would it be rude to bring a couple of bottles to share during dinner?

This would probably be the ultimate in poor taste.