The better question is of course “Can you saber a bottle of Champagne with MIND BULLETS?”
Good lord. Todd, coat your kids in bubble wrap, then show them a video of someone else doing it. They’re teenagers, after all. This is clearly too dangerous. Also, make sure when they go to college you can take FMLA so you can take off, sleep in their dorm and attend classes and events with them for the first three months to ensure they don’t do anything dangerous or get into trouble. Also, make sure they still use a car seat and don’t sit in the front passenger seat. And also ensure that they never, under any circumstance, use tools like a saw, chisel, hammer, or anything else with a blunt, toothed, or bladed side. Also be there the first time they have sex to make sure they use protection. Also, be really careful about teaching them how to cook. There is fire and very sharp knives, and cutting root vegetables and chopping onions could lead to cut fingers. Don’t forget to get them electric razors instead of a Gilette. Those have real razor blades and they will undoubtedly cut themselves if they use real blades! HOLY SHIT ARE YOU CRAZY!
I would so chest-bump you if we were hanging out right now.
Good lord. Todd, coat your kids in bubble wrap, then show them a video of someone else doing it. They’re teenagers, after all. This is clearly too dangerous. Also, make sure when they go to college you can take FMLA so you can take off, sleep in their dorm and attend classes and events with them for the first three months to ensure they don’t do anything dangerous or get into trouble. Also, make sure they still use a car seat and don’t sit in the front passenger seat. And also ensure that they never, under any circumstance, use tools like a saw, chisel, hammer, or anything else with a blunt, toothed, or bladed side. Also be there the first time they have sex to make sure they use protection. Also, be really careful about teaching them how to cook. There is fire and very sharp knives, and cutting root vegetables and chopping onions could lead to cut fingers. Don’t forget to get them electric razors instead of a Gilette. Those have real razor blades and they will undoubtedly cut themselves if they use real blades! HOLY SHIT ARE YOU CRAZY!
You forgot the peanuts and gluten.
I’ve seen it done with the base of a wine glass, so I think any hard, thin but dull edge will do it.
I don’t know. Unless the juice bottle is the same design as a Champagne bottle (quality glass, seam along the side, ridged attached top) this seems like it probably won’t work as planned.
Also, when I read the thread title I did briefly imagine using a bottle cap to whack open the bottle.
That’s how I actually did read it at first and it took me a while to figure out what the hell Todd was talking about. It’s friday.
How much are these bottles of sparkling juice. You could always just buy a couple extra (read ‘cases’ here) and give it a go? Sounds like a great day out;-)
In all seriousness, I do always wear glasses when I do it - have had a bottle explode on me before, not much fun… a nice pair of shades ought to do it the job though.
I seem to remember doing this with a bottle of tomato ketchup once so pretty sure you can do it with anything as long as the bottle’s thick enough.
The caps on the sparkling cider I buy are crown caps, also known as crown corks, not screw caps.
Good lord. Todd, coat your kids in bubble wrap, then show them a video of someone else doing it. They’re teenagers, after all. This is clearly too dangerous. Also, make sure when they go to college you can take FMLA so you can take off, sleep in their dorm and attend classes and events with them for the first three months to ensure they don’t do anything dangerous or get into trouble. Also, make sure they still use a car seat and don’t sit in the front passenger seat. And also ensure that they never, under any circumstance, use tools like a saw, chisel, hammer, or anything else with a blunt, toothed, or bladed side. Also be there the first time they have sex to make sure they use protection. Also, be really careful about teaching them how to cook. There is fire and very sharp knives, and cutting root vegetables and chopping onions could lead to cut fingers. Don’t forget to get them electric razors instead of a Gilette. Those have real razor blades and they will undoubtedly cut themselves if they use real blades! HOLY SHIT ARE YOU CRAZY!
You clearly have not met my son, K-John!
Kid events went late last night so we’ll attempt it this morning. I have eyewear, steel-toed boots, bubble wrap, plexiglass enclosure, shark-mesh full body suit, and the local Fire Department on hand.
It was horrible! The tragedy! The humanity!
But I must respect Todd’s last wish and take up the mantle of leadership at WB.
So listen up mofos, you’re all on notice! This will be a tight ship from this point on! No more Mr. Nice French Guy.
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