Another '81 Gruaud fan here. Was still drinking beautifully 5 years ago if you love aged Bordeaux, and available in your price range.
Most posters have ignored your two choices. Do you own these wines or have the opportunity to purchase? Why not pick one for your celebration and the other for her’s?
Great idea, Nancy.
That’s where I found my first two choices, as my wife is in Chicago this weekend and I was going to send her by if there were positive recs for either. Also another reason I was trying to stay under the $100 mark, as she is somewhat averse to bottles in that price range.
Nancy you might have the best idea of all! I kinda figured I would be getting lots of other suggestions, the more the merrier 
Regardless of which bottle(s) I send her after, it sounds like I definitely need to get my hands on the 81 Gruaud Larose.
Gruaud is one of my favorite QPR wines in off years. Also love Ch. Montelena. Lots of good selections. I would go with one Old World and one old New World. How about throwing in a stickie for dessert?
81 Pichon Lalande is lovely.
Focus now is on two bottles of 1981 Cabernet / Bordeaux available in Chicago this weekend @ + / - $100 per if I have the facts straight. Just trying to help a couple of youngsters since my second born is vintage 1981.
I’m 1981 as well and posses the same question for my 30 th bday. I went with the Lopez de heredia reserva and it was one on the best older wines I’ve had. Enjoy the Bordeaux and report back.
81 BV GDL I would skip, not their best. Best 80s for them 80, 82, 84-87. The 85 is probably the best.
I can 2nd La MissionHB, Lynch-Bages and Gruaud-Larose … AND Pichon Lalande ! … Margaux and HB fine but more pricey. Las Cases is good, as is Conseillante.
Sure Spain (Rioja) …
… but 1981 was outstanding in Chateauneuf, not only Rayas (great if well kept), Pegau (equally, better than -->) Beaucastel - and Bonneau Celestins (almost as good as Pegau), but almost all CdP in good condition provide fine drinking, e.g. Fortia, Mont Olivet, Vieux Telegraph, Clos des Papes (exellent but not great), Chante Perdrix and even several negociant bottlings …
I had some very good Burgundies (d Angerville Champans, Dujac CdlRoche … a Corton …) but overall it is a weak vintage.
Had an 81 Palmer on my 30th bday few years back and it was outstanding.
Rioja or champagne would be good bets
check cellartracker and list by score and you will see which ones to chose
I’m a + on the Rioja suggestion. 1981 LdH Bosconia GR or Tondonia Gran Reserva is just a little above $100.
I had a stellar bottle of the 1981 LdH Bosconia GR a few years back.
As a 1981 baby with lots and lots of 1981 experience - I think that its counter to what you’d expect:
YES: California. Top producers wines are still fabulous. IMO, very underrated vintage.
YES: Rioja. You can be fancy and get LdH or something like that, or spend $60 on the Beronia library release and have a consistently excellent wine, and all points in between.
YES: Tuscany. I’ve only had a few bottles, but they were still very alive. IIRC Chambers Street currently has a library release BdM for a fair price?
NO: Bordeaux. There are good bottles out there, but most of what’s in the secondary market (perhaps not as well stored?) is in steep decline. It’s not that the bottles are bad, it’s that your dollar will go much, much farther in California.
NO: Burgundy. 
MAYBE: Germany/Alsace. Only tried a couple of bottles and they were past it for my palate, but I like my rieslings young.
MAYBE: Champagne. Have never tried. I’ve heard the good ones are still excellent.
MAYBE: Rhone/Provence. I’ve tried a couple of midlevel bottles, and they were OK, but I’m brett sensitive and this was not the region for the brett-shy in 1981. I’ve been assured by palates that I trust that clean bottles of the Beaucastel are extraordinary.
See if you can get a 1981 Chateau Beaucastel. 1981 was a superb vintage in Chateauneuf du Pape whereas it was so-so at best in Bordeaux, Napa, and poor in Burgundy.
MrBigJ
Well, I already said that 1981 is a superb vintage in CdP. 
Interestingly people are raving about Beaucastel … BUT Pegau Reservée 1981 is the better wine, it´s not only better than Beauastel 81, but also better than Bonneau Celestins (I drank both 81 side by side with Francois Audouze …)
The reason is simply: if you´d like to find Beaucastel it´s only a question of price.
But try to find a Pegau 1981 now!
Beau had a production of 120 to 150.000 bottles then.
Pegau 81: only some 2.500 bottles - the rest was sold to negociants.
The only 81 Cdp that can rival Pegau is Rayas, but only superb stored bottles.
Go up in price and you can get La Mission Haut Brion by far the best 81 from anywhere that I have personally had. 81 Margaux can be had for around 2 bills and it is pretty damn tasty as well.
Gorgeous, elegant, smoky glass of '81 Talbot in my hand at this moment.
1981 is my birth year and there are a lot of great options out there. the best bottle i’ve had (and the priciest) is the Krug Clos des Mesnil. league of its own with 1981s…but same can be said of its price these days. Bourdy has some great 1981s - both rouge and blanc. Then you have the usual suspects; Beaucastel, Vega, LdH, and Palmer are typically the most consistently good options. Prum is good in 1981 if the bottles have been treated well - had a bottle of the Kabinett at Lotus a couple years ago that was sublime. Gruaurd Larose can be great, but I’ve equal amounts shot bottles…so it’s a guessing game.