5 Drink Orders That Let Everyone Know You're An A-hole

Beer and Spirits
1

Discuss among yourselves:

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2013/08/asshole_drink_orders.php

Bruce

2

Some of those flavored vodkas -what are people thinking?

3

I think a-hole is the wrong descriptor. Clueless or classless would be better. If one truly wants to be an a-hole, order a pousse cafe.

4

I don’t get the shot drink one. That would make about 75% of the people I ever served as a bartender assholes.

5

That sounds about right.

6

Red bull and whatever makes you an asshole. Well at the very least amateurish or sophmoric.

7

There was so much low hanging fruit and the writer missed badly

8

Reminds me of a time we hosted an event. I’ve been active with a local chapter of an alumni group, and the men’s tennis team came to town for a tournament. Several of us took them out. The NCAA and the univ and the coach have some strict no alcohol rules, plus most of them were not 21. There were a couple of freshmen from East Europe trying to decide what to order. Someone jokingly suggested Shirley Temples. They missed the joke, had no idea who Shirley Temple was, what the drink is, etc. They ordered Shirley Temples, loved them, and kept ordering them. Each time, the waitress had this WTF look on her face.

9

Seems low.

10

So what other drinks would you nominate? I don’t order a lot of cocktails at bars these days, so I’m probably a bit out of the loop.

Bruce

11

Anything ending in “tini” that doesn’t start with “mar”.

12

[winner.gif]

13

On the other hand, anyplace that calls something a “martini” when it contains something other than gin, vermouth and (either) an olive or a lemon twist, is asking for a-holes as customers.

14

Interesting. I am definitely guilty of vodkatini ordering. I think gin tastes like soap, and absolutely hate it. I had no idea the common act of substituting vodka for gin made one an asshole customer in the eyes of so many. Oh well … I’m sure there are other things, too!

15

A couple of drops of orange bitters are allowed. Otherwise, yes.

16

Well buddy, I guess I’ll have to asshole out with ya. Vodkatini for me too.

17

The missing 15% are probably teetotallers…

18

I prefer vodka “martini” as well. I love gin for a Tom Collins or G&T but I like the cleaner profile of the vodka in a martini. Might just be that is what I first drank and came to expect that is what it would taste like.

19

Um.

A drink consisting of vodka, vermouth, and olives has a proper name – it is called a “Kangaroo,” not a “Martini.” See:

20

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Yup

  • Cosmopolitan (borderline, but it has become shorthand for “we are just like the women on Sex in the City, aren’t we?”
  • Mikes Hard Lemonade and similar (jeremia weed especially), “How was the last NAMBLA meeting, I missed it”?
  • Any super obscure drink that “is your regular drink” but requires the internet. We all know how special you are. Bonus Douche points for ordering it on a busy Friday night.
  • Related; any futzy modifications to a normal drink that waste time and prove your specialness. “Add 2 drops of XYZ bitters and a pinch of lime zest”
  • On same busy night…flagging down the bartender then turning to your group and saying “so…what do you guys want?”
  • Elaborating on the shots, any drink that sounds like a sex act or “naughty bit”.
  • Irish Car Bomb….Terrorism is f*cking hilarious!
  • And the #1 I’m a MegaDouche drink……a round of Jaegerbombs! f*ck YEAH. Downing said drink invariably leads to fist bumps or worse, high fives.