From the 58 stupidest orders ever...

DUMB AND DUMBER AND
REALLY REALLY DUMB

From Tom Jenkins’s compilation of restaurant chefs’ “58 of the Stupidest Food Orders Ever” in FineDining Lovers.com via Mariani

“Can I have a caprese salad, but with no tomato, no mozzarella.”

“Is the ice cream soft or hard, I am allergic to soft ice cream.”

A woman asked if I could remove the “sour” out of the sourdough bread we served.

"Cappuccino with the foam on the side.

“No burger, no onions, no tomato, no egg, no bacon, no pickles, no fries, no anything, Just buns.”

“Paella without rice, please.”

“I want the stuffed salmon. I don’t like the taste of salmon though, so don’t make it taste like salmon.”

“Can I get the special with fettuccine? I’m allergic to penne.” “You’re allergic to a shape?”

"The other day I got a ticket that read: “Cheese plate (no dairy).”

There are lactose free cheese aren’t there?

Yes, but if a restaurant is offering a cheese plate, it’s highly unlikely they’d have lactose free cheese just hanging around. I mean, why not order something else?

True.

What about a vegetarian in France, who’s lactose intolerant?

Because they want to be that guy/that girl whose only purpose in life is to annoy others.

And if they did, it wouldn’t satisfy the “no dairy” request. How about something in a nice cashew cheese

My favorite was the Cappuccino with foam on the side.

If a restaurant invented this they’d consider it a stroke of genius.

The un-cappuccino…

Actually, I think I’ll make myself one tomorrow morning.

The physics are daunting, though.
How about a shot of espresso with the foam in a separate cup?

P Hickner

In all seriousness, I have a friend here that is deathly allergic to wine and is highly lactose intolerant. I’m pretty convinced he’s the worst Frenchman ever. Fortunately, he has at least 20 scarves and is willing to wear one when it’s 80 degrees outside, so I give him the benefit of the doubt.