More Saturday Retail Funnies

A forum for and about wine retailing. Consumer questions, retailer rants, etc. All are welcome to post
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Peter Yanagihara
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#1801 Post by Peter Yanagihara » March 16th, 2018, 12:43 pm

Worked in wine retail and couple of things happened.

One guy asked if we sold Louis XIII. Said that we had to order it from our wholesaler and the cost was about $2,400. He walked around and then paid for his merchandise with an EBT card. He was on welfare.

Another guy walked in (looked like a young Marine since the store was close to the base) and asked "you guys sell rubbers." Told him to try Safeway next door.

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Steven Miller
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#1802 Post by Steven Miller » March 16th, 2018, 12:58 pm

Peter Yanagihara wrote: Another guy walked in (looked like a young Marine since the store was close to the base) and asked "you guys sell rubbers." Told him to try Safeway next door.
Time to get creative and offer date night bundles. wine/flowers/rubbers...
tread lightly

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Steven Brown
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#1803 Post by Steven Brown » April 23rd, 2018, 6:55 am

Recently experienced this at a local shop.

Distributor: Hi, would you like to taste any of our wines today?

Customer: Sure! I’ll try the Walla Walla red blend.

Distributor: (Pours)

Customer: That’s nice. Is it predominantly cabernet sauvignon.

Distributor: I have no idea.

Customer: (Face palm)

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#1804 Post by Peter Yanagihara » April 29th, 2018, 4:15 am

Forgot about this one.

Couple came in to return a bottle of wine. Woman said the producer failed to put in the cork.

Told her that it came with a screw cap.

Sending this from the SFO airport on an all nighter from Madrid to Newark to SFO to Honolulu.

Not the best way to travel for old guys.

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Steven Brown
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#1805 Post by Steven Brown » July 13th, 2018, 10:10 am

I was in a well known wine shop in Napa recently enjoying a tasting of their daily wines when a tourist came in with her husband. She expressed interest in the tasting but added, “I like sweet wines.” To which the wine monger said, “Well, you’ve come to the wrong place."

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#1806 Post by Matthew Brown » July 13th, 2018, 11:45 am

Steven Brown wrote:I was in a well known wine shop in Napa recently enjoying a tasting of their daily wines when a tourist came in with her husband. She expressed interest in the tasting but added, “I like sweet wines.” To which the wine monger said, “Well, you’ve come to the wrong place."
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Steven Brown
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#1807 Post by Steven Brown » July 13th, 2018, 1:38 pm

I have friends who have an affinity for "sweet wines," so I'm curious what wines a retailer would typically recommend. Is it generally the under $10 selections (e.g., Barefoot, Yellowtail, etc.)?

Bill S.
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#1808 Post by Bill S. » July 13th, 2018, 3:08 pm

Steven Brown wrote:I have friends who have an affinity for "sweet wines," so I'm curious what wines a retailer would typically recommend. Is it generally the under $10 selections (e.g., Barefoot, Yellowtail, etc.)?
Several questions first, how sweet, what type, bubbles or no bubbles, food pairing ? I usually start customers off around $10-$15 and adjust from there.

Best one I can remember was a customer looking for a $30-$40 gift bottle of White Zin [wow.gif], I asked if he wanted a case with change lol.

[cheers.gif]
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#1809 Post by Sean Devaney » July 15th, 2018, 10:03 pm

Bill S. wrote:
Best one I can remember was a customer looking for a $30-$40 gift bottle of White Zin [wow.gif], I asked if he wanted a case with change lol.

[cheers.gif]
Back in the 80's when I was going to college I worked in a liquor store. We had a young customer come in and ask for our finest White Zinfandel that he was going to bring to dinner meeting his girlfriends parents for the first time and her father "really knew his wine." At that time DeLoach was our most expensive so that was my rec. He would take it but when he saw the price was $7-8 he said "Oh no, I want something around $40." I tried to up sell him on some good Cabs. "Oh no, White Zin is me and my girlfriends favorite. Can you just put a $40 price tag on it?" I said I could but it is not proper etiquette to bring a gift of wine with a price tag on it and it might make a better impression just to bring his White Zin without the price tag (and leave the impression that you were ripped off by the wine store.) He finally agreed that leaving the (fake) price tag on the bottle was not the impression he wanted to leave.

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#1810 Post by Hank Victor » July 25th, 2018, 2:07 pm

Lady walks into my store in a middle of a lighting storm while I am on the phone with a client. Yelling at me and rushing me for directions to a restaurant which she completely butchers and fumbles the name. The place is literally 100 feet away and their is signage.

Also had another lady who was for sure off her meds come in and ask if we sell jack daniels. Told her only wine and proceeds to ask if I know anywhere that sells it nearby. I'm friendly and we start talking about sparkling wine. Im talking about the different methods and she starts picking up bottles and after a few mins , puts down two bottles, and RUNS out of the store apologizing and saying I dont want this much wine...
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#1811 Post by Todd F r e n c h » July 25th, 2018, 2:08 pm

Hank Victor wrote:Lady walks into my store in a middle of a lighting storm while I am on the phone with a client. Yelling at me and rushing me for directions to a restaurant which she completely butchers and fumbles the name. The place is literally 100 feet away and their is signage.

Also had another lady who was for sure off her meds come in and ask if we sell jack daniels. Told her only wine and proceeds to ask if I know anywhere that sells it nearby. I'm friendly and we start talking about sparkling wine. Im talking about the different methods and she starts picking up bottles and after a few mins , puts down two bottles, and RUNS out of the store apologizing and saying I dont want this much wine...
Two bottles is a LOT of wine!!!!!
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#1812 Post by Hank Victor » August 18th, 2018, 3:09 pm

Had a bizarre encounter this morning. After hosting a 50 person event the night before I am taking out the trash this morning. I have all the bottles from the previous night in an open case on a hand cart. As I get to the dumpster this janitor who is speaking creole comes up to me and starts rummaging through the empty bottles. He finally sees a bottle he likes (Croft Reserve Tawny fat bottle) and just takes it out of my trash and walks away smiling. I walked away dumbfounded as I literally experienced the idiom " One man's trash is another man's treasure"
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"Wine is, on the face of it, an utterly superfluous luxury. The majority of the world's population survive without it. It has negligible nutritional value, provides none of the basic needs of life, and those of us who drink it do so for essentially selfish reasons. So, cheers!"

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#1813 Post by justinmcinerny » February 15th, 2019, 8:45 am

Keep in mind that the shop is right next to Washington DC. A guy in his 30's comes in yesterday. He seemed to be a little frazzled and says "do you have anything from Orrin Hatch". I immediately replied, "no we don't have anything from Utah, plus I don't think Mormons make wine, they just sell it". He laughed and said that he was sleep deprived because he and his wife have a newborn. I apologized for making a joke at his expense in front of a sales rep and an employee and I hoped that I did not lose a sale. He proceeded to buy a few bottles of Prisoner and some other stuff.

For those who aren't into politics, Orrin Hatch is a recently retired, long serving US Senator from Utah.
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#1814 Post by Hank Victor » February 15th, 2019, 10:51 am

Where I work is retail but also have a btg license. Somebody came in Sunday at noon and bought a $20 btl of white wine. Drinks a glass or two and leaves. He calls later that day to say he will pick up his bottle today or tomorrow (monday). Days go by and I don't hear or see him. Man shows up Thursday (4 days later) at 7:00pm asking for his bottle. His is livid that it was thrown out that morning and doesn't understand the concept of wine going bad after opened for 4 days. He was unrelenting and I had to ask myself if I was going f'ing crazy lol.

Imagine going to a restaurant, ordering a bottle of wine, not finishing it and then coming back 4 days later to pick it up....
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"Wine is, on the face of it, an utterly superfluous luxury. The majority of the world's population survive without it. It has negligible nutritional value, provides none of the basic needs of life, and those of us who drink it do so for essentially selfish reasons. So, cheers!"

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#1815 Post by Brian G r a f s t r o m » March 17th, 2019, 11:57 am

Hank Victor wrote:
February 15th, 2019, 10:51 am
Where I work is retail but also have a btg license. Somebody came in Sunday at noon and bought a $20 btl of white wine. Drinks a glass or two and leaves. He calls later that day to say he will pick up his bottle today or tomorrow (monday). Days go by and I don't hear or see him. Man shows up Thursday (4 days later) at 7:00pm asking for his bottle. His is livid that it was thrown out that morning and doesn't understand the concept of wine going bad after opened for 4 days. He was unrelenting and I had to ask myself if I was going f'ing crazy lol.

Imagine going to a restaurant, ordering a bottle of wine, not finishing it and then coming back 4 days later to pick it up....
Just tell him there's a $5/day storage fee. $20. Then he can have a new bottle.😁
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