More Saturday Retail Funnies

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C. Bowman
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More Saturday Retail Funnies

#1 Post by C. Bowman » May 16th, 2009, 4:46 pm

When someone comes in on a Saturday afternooon with a portfolio full of papers it's hard not to to think oh crap a sales person, and sure enough. These two guys come in, a white guy & a black guy, they come over to the counter and start talking environmentally friendly wine shippers. After a few minutes of babble the black guy gives me his business card, I look at it and start laughing, he says what's so funny, I tell him I hadn't seen a (former) football player shilling wine shippers before. It was Eric Wright from the SF 49ers and his card says alumni coordinator. The other guy is talking shippers and apparently they are trying to come up with ideas for shippers but not stryo. I told him I would not ship in the heat across country in that cardboard thing they showed me. After Eric calls me "Miss Carrie" a million times he says, we are going to be up here next week and trying to put some ideas together for shippers can we come by and meet with you and our money guy. I tell them "yea whatever, call and see if I have time". Then Eric says, well what are you doing tonight, want to got to dinner? Sorry, Bud I'm going to an OL..
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#2 Post by Roberto Rogness » May 16th, 2009, 4:53 pm

Surely you can parlay an ex NFL guy hitting on you into a nice dinner or something from your actual SO, no?
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#3 Post by C. Bowman » May 16th, 2009, 5:07 pm

Roberto Rogness wrote:Surely you can parlay an ex NFL guy hitting on you into a nice dinner or something from your actual SO, no?
I'm certain and funny thing is Randy would say, let him to take you to dinner, get tickets but try not to be too brutal & rough him up too much but I'm going to an SQN OL and that sound like way more fun.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#4 Post by Michael Bowden » May 18th, 2009, 7:44 am

A former football player shilling wine here in the ATL......actually one of the best stores in town

http://thewinestoreinc.com/new_site/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#5 Post by Todd F r e n c h » May 18th, 2009, 8:56 am

Michael Bowden wrote:A former football player shilling wine here in the ATL......actually one of the best stores in town

http://thewinestoreinc.com/new_site/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
It amazes me how many former pro football players require jobs when they are no longer playing. With base salaries at 20X the national average, and most making around half a million a year for 5-10 years, you'd think they would be able to handle money for a while and be retired with a decent amount stashed away...
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#6 Post by John Coop » May 18th, 2009, 9:39 am

Michael Bowden wrote:A former football player shilling wine here in the ATL......actually one of the best stores in town

http://thewinestoreinc.com/new_site/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Chris Hinton used to come in the store I work at all the time back in his Colts playing days. He bought a lot of good wine then!

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#7 Post by Roberto Rogness » May 18th, 2009, 9:43 am

"It amazes me how many former pro football players require jobs when they are no longer playing."

Supporting several ex-wives and many children gets expensive?
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#8 Post by Mel Hill » May 18th, 2009, 9:53 am

some ex-NFL players MAKE wine....
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#9 Post by Jorge Henriquez » May 18th, 2009, 9:55 am

Roberto Rogness wrote:Supporting several ex-wives and many children gets expensive?
Image

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#10 Post by William Segui » May 18th, 2009, 11:50 am

Todd F r e n c h wrote:
Michael Bowden wrote:A former football player shilling wine here in the ATL......actually one of the best stores in town

http://thewinestoreinc.com/new_site/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
It amazes me how many former pro football players require jobs when they are no longer playing. With base salaries at 20X the national average, and most making around half a million a year for 5-10 years, you'd think they would be able to handle money for a while and be retired with a decent amount stashed away...
Lose half to taxes, then 10% to an agent before you've bought Mom a house or a roof of your own? Not to mention the average career of an NFL'er is pretty short. Seems reasonable to me.

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#11 Post by Cris Whetstone » May 18th, 2009, 12:21 pm

Mel Hill wrote:some ex-NFL players MAKE wine....
Image
Terry Hogue
That's clearly not a recent picture. [berserker.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#12 Post by Cris Whetstone » May 18th, 2009, 12:23 pm

William Segui wrote:
Todd F r e n c h wrote:
Michael Bowden wrote:A former football player shilling wine here in the ATL......actually one of the best stores in town

http://thewinestoreinc.com/new_site/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
It amazes me how many former pro football players require jobs when they are no longer playing. With base salaries at 20X the national average, and most making around half a million a year for 5-10 years, you'd think they would be able to handle money for a while and be retired with a decent amount stashed away...
Lose half to taxes, then 10% to an agent before you've bought Mom a house or a roof of your own? Not to mention the average career of an NFL'er is pretty short. Seems reasonable to me.
The average career of most players is quite short, especially in the NFL. Injuries are a big part of that. Most players don't make that much either. I don't know what the minimum is but I seem to remember it being about $400K. Three years of that isn't exactly a kingly sum in the USA.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#13 Post by Randy Bowman » May 18th, 2009, 12:37 pm

Pulled this from an article online.


About The Sports Professionals Foundation (SPF):

Released NFL players (and other pro and Olympic athletes) face numerous career transition and emotional issues. Studies show that 72 percent of former pro players are divorced within three years, and 64 percent are bankrupt within six. The foundation provides former pros with research, teaching, counseling, career coaching, and player development resources which help players make informed choices about their future.

For more information about the Celebrity Golf Challenge, SPI, the SPF, and Junior Achievement, see http://www.sportsprofessionals.org/golf.html#info" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#14 Post by Ken V » May 18th, 2009, 1:06 pm

Todd F r e n c h wrote:
Michael Bowden wrote:A former football player shilling wine here in the ATL......actually one of the best stores in town

http://thewinestoreinc.com/new_site/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
It amazes me how many former pro football players require jobs when they are no longer playing. With base salaries at 20X the national average, and most making around half a million a year for 5-10 years, you'd think they would be able to handle money for a while and be retired with a decent amount stashed away...
Everyone here knows the old saying "The way to make a small fortune in the wine business is to start with a large fortune, then buy a winery."

Perhaps the same applies to wine stores? [berserker.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#15 Post by Tony V e l e b i l » May 18th, 2009, 5:51 pm

Randy Bowman wrote:Pulled this from an article online.


About The Sports Professionals Foundation (SPF):

Released NFL players (and other pro and Olympic athletes) face numerous career transition and emotional issues. Studies show that 72 percent of former pro players are divorced within three years, and 64 percent are bankrupt within six. The foundation provides former pros with research, teaching, counseling, career coaching, and player development resources which help players make informed choices about their future.

For more information about the Celebrity Golf Challenge, SPI, the SPF, and Junior Achievement, see http://www.sportsprofessionals.org/golf.html#info" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;.
Randy - was just going to look for this article because I just read it a couple of weeks ago and it really surprised me the number was so high. I figured a high percentage would be broke, i.e., around 30% or so but 64% blew my mind.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#16 Post by Linda Baehr » May 18th, 2009, 6:29 pm

Mel Hill wrote:some ex-NFL players MAKE wine....
Image
Terry Hoage
Fixed.

Just there yesterday. Yummy stuff.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#17 Post by Mel Hill » May 18th, 2009, 6:55 pm

Linda Baehr wrote:
Fixed.

Just there yesterday. Yummy stuff.
What be fixed?

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#18 Post by Linda Baehr » May 19th, 2009, 6:11 am

Mel Hill wrote:
Linda Baehr wrote:
Fixed.

Just there yesterday. Yummy stuff.
What be fixed?
The spelling of his last name. [cheers.gif]
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#19 Post by Mel Hill » May 19th, 2009, 7:00 am

here's one I took a few years ago...
Image

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#20 Post by John Cabot » May 19th, 2009, 8:13 am

Linda Baehr wrote:
Mel Hill wrote:some ex-NFL players MAKE wine....
Image
Terry Hoage
Fixed.

Just there yesterday. Yummy stuff.
Linda, I thought you were going to say that he just got a vasectome. [ok.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#21 Post by Veronica Castro » June 10th, 2009, 8:15 pm

This weekend I asked a man in our store if he was finding everything alright.


He was blind (didn't see the cane).
D'oh! [dash1.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#22 Post by Ken V » June 10th, 2009, 8:21 pm

Veronica Castro wrote:This weekend I asked a man in our store if he was finding everything alright.


He was blind (didn't see the cane).
D'oh! [dash1.gif]
Direct him to the Chapoutier!

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#23 Post by Veronica Castro » June 10th, 2009, 8:33 pm

Thanks, Ken! [rofl.gif]
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#24 Post by Ian Dorin » June 13th, 2009, 7:06 pm

We get hockey players, not NFL guys. They buy loads of wine, retired or not.

Last two stupid incidents....

I had an irate customer told me we were an awful store with no selection.
Reason: We didn't have any sparkling wines from the Languedoc.

Last night, customer was helped by 7 employees.
Reason: We didn't have any free boxes for 1 bottle of wine, and said she was getting frustrated and wasn't happy.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#25 Post by Steve Manzi » June 13th, 2009, 7:51 pm

Ian Dorin wrote:We get hockey players, not NFL guys. They buy loads of wine, retired or not.

Last two stupid incidents....

I had an irate customer told me we were an awful store with no selection.
Reason: We didn't have any sparkling wines from the Languedoc.

Last night, customer was helped by 7 employees.
Reason: We didn't have any free boxes for 1 bottle of wine, and said she was getting frustrated and wasn't happy.
Ian,

When Kenney pulls shit like that with me, I just kick em in the nuts. Calms him right down. [bye2.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#26 Post by Ken V » June 14th, 2009, 6:37 pm

Ian Dorin wrote:I had an irate customer told me we were an awful store with no selection.
Reason: We didn't have any sparkling wines from the Languedoc.
Did you send them to Roberto?

[tease.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#27 Post by Roberto Rogness » June 14th, 2009, 6:53 pm

Clairette de Die, yummy stuff but from a little further north.

Cremant de Limoux and Blanquette De Limoux, chicks dig'em!
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#28 Post by Ian Dorin » June 15th, 2009, 6:48 am

Steve Manzi wrote:
Ian Dorin wrote:We get hockey players, not NFL guys. They buy loads of wine, retired or not.

Last two stupid incidents....

I had an irate customer told me we were an awful store with no selection.
Reason: We didn't have any sparkling wines from the Languedoc.

Last night, customer was helped by 7 employees.
Reason: We didn't have any free boxes for 1 bottle of wine, and said she was getting frustrated and wasn't happy.
Ian,

When Kenney pulls shit like that with me, I just kick em in the nuts. Calms him right down. [bye2.gif]
Good advice, I wish it was him, and sadly, neither customer had nuts.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#29 Post by Steve Manzi » June 15th, 2009, 7:04 am

Ian Dorin wrote:
Steve Manzi wrote:
Ian Dorin wrote:We get hockey players, not NFL guys. They buy loads of wine, retired or not.

Last two stupid incidents....

I had an irate customer told me we were an awful store with no selection.
Reason: We didn't have any sparkling wines from the Languedoc.

Last night, customer was helped by 7 employees.
Reason: We didn't have any free boxes for 1 bottle of wine, and said she was getting frustrated and wasn't happy.
Ian,

When Kenney pulls shit like that with me, I just kick em in the nuts. Calms him right down. [bye2.gif]
Good advice, I wish it was him, and sadly, neither customer had nuts.
Ahhhh.....so you did your usual NUT check I see. [gheyfight.gif]
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#30 Post by James Wright » June 15th, 2009, 7:16 am

NFL is actually a TLA (threeletteracronym)

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#31 Post by Ian Dorin » June 15th, 2009, 8:13 am

Steve Manzi wrote:
Ian Dorin wrote:
Steve Manzi wrote: Ian,

When Kenney pulls shit like that with me, I just kick em in the nuts. Calms him right down. [bye2.gif]
Good advice, I wish it was him, and sadly, neither customer had nuts.
Ahhhh.....so you did your usual NUT check I see. [gheyfight.gif]
They had enough female qualities to know they had no nuts.
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#32 Post by Guillaume Deschamps » June 15th, 2009, 8:31 am

Ian Dorin wrote:They had enough female qualities to know they had no nuts.
The essential difference between to have and to be.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#33 Post by Steve Manzi » June 15th, 2009, 10:12 am

Ian Dorin wrote:
Steve Manzi wrote:
Ian Dorin wrote: Good advice, I wish it was him, and sadly, neither customer had nuts.
Ahhhh.....so you did your usual NUT check I see. [gheyfight.gif]
They had enough female qualities to know they had no nuts.
THAT'S how you end with a date with THIS: http://www.wineberserkers.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=5070
Have to go to the NSFW forum though. [berserker.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#34 Post by Daniel Posner » June 20th, 2009, 8:54 pm

I would kick Kenney in the nuts, regardless. [rofl.gif]

PGA golfers...good clients...they can even drink while playing...shit it is golf.

FYI, the wholesaler for Terry Hoage wines in NY cut him loose this month. Rhone style reds from CA do not sell on the right coast.

In the store today, as reported to me, since I am with Mickey and Minnie...a guy comes in looking for a gift for his in laws. He is shown and offered to taste a btl of 2007 Clos de Los Siete that we have open. He tells the guys that he is looking for something closed. After a few moments, they explain that he will be getting an unopened btl of wine, not the one that is being used for sampling. [rofl.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#35 Post by Guillaume Deschamps » June 20th, 2009, 9:32 pm

Daniel Posner wrote:FYI, the wholesaler for Terry Hoage wines in NY cut him loose this month. Rhone style reds from CA do not sell on the right coast.
I was there today and I'm ready to guess it has more to do with the price than anything - the wines were good, the price was a bit tough to swallow. Probably not expensive enough for east-coasters, though ;)
In the store today, as reported to me, since I am with Mickey and Minnie...a guy comes in looking for a gift for his in laws. He is shown and offered to taste a btl of 2007 Clos de Los Siete that we have open. He tells the guys that he is looking for something closed. After a few moments, they explain that he will be getting an unopened btl of wine, not the one that is being used for sampling. [rofl.gif]
You mean you're pushing Michel Rolland sponsored/spoofilated/point-seeking wines to unaware customers?
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#36 Post by Daniel Posner » June 21st, 2009, 7:12 am

I am a fan of Clos de Los Siete. I visited the winery on my "Jay Miller Argentina Tour" in October. We even had the 2003 with lunch and it was great. This is a great bargain in the wine world and production is like 75000 cases, so no shortage.

Also, best empanadas I had all trip were cooked there.

Yes, I had a free meal on a wine trip. No, I am not a critic.
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#37 Post by M. Sai » June 22nd, 2009, 6:47 pm

Guillaume Deschamps wrote:I was there today and I'm ready to guess it has more to do with the price than anything - the wines were good, the price was a bit tough to swallow.
I'd make the same arguement for 90% of the wineries in Paso... [diablo.gif]
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#38 Post by Veronica Castro » July 5th, 2009, 8:10 pm

Today, a woman in a bikini went shopping in our store. Too funny.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#39 Post by Mark.Ricca » July 6th, 2009, 7:35 am

Daniel Posner wrote:I am a fan of Clos de Los Siete. I visited the winery on my "Jay Miller Argentina Tour" in October. We even had the 2003 with lunch and it was great. This is a great bargain in the wine world and production is like 75000 cases, so no shortage.

Also, best empanadas I had all trip were cooked there.

Yes, I had a free meal on a wine trip. No, I am not a critic.
Yes, but will the '07 ever come around?
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#40 Post by Ian Dorin » July 6th, 2009, 7:53 am

Email from one of my staff this weekend.....

"Had a customer strongly encouraging us to add a large selection of Kosher German wines to the store this weekend. He lives out of state, but would easily come back once a year for a few bottles."

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#41 Post by Mark.Ricca » July 6th, 2009, 8:42 am

Daniel Posner:
Also, best empanadas I had all trip were cooked there.
Santa Ema Dan. I know it's Chile, but I was double fisting the empanadas there. Beef in one hand, shrimp in the other.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#42 Post by Roberto Rogness » July 6th, 2009, 10:18 am

"Today, a woman in a bikini went shopping in our store. Too funny."

That's unusual in Dana Point? Happens here pretty often....
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#43 Post by Todd F r e n c h » July 6th, 2009, 10:26 am

Roberto Rogness wrote:"Today, a woman in a bikini went shopping in our store. Too funny."

That's unusual in Dana Point? Happens here pretty often....
Her store is in Costa Mesa - same general idea, but not quite as casual as Dana Point, as the beach community nearby is Newport Beach...
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#44 Post by Roberto Rogness » July 6th, 2009, 10:33 am

Oh, right, she works at High Times...pretty chilly in there too!
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#45 Post by Michael Bowden » July 6th, 2009, 10:36 am

Roberto Rogness wrote:Oh, right, she works at High Times...pretty chilly in there too!
I would guess chill.....

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#46 Post by Daniel Posner » July 6th, 2009, 10:50 am

Mark.Ricca wrote:Daniel Posner:
Also, best empanadas I had all trip were cooked there.
Santa Ema Dan. I know it's Chile, but I was double fisting the empanadas there. Beef in one hand, shrimp in the other.

Next time, Mark. I only did Mendoza on the trip. We do not sell much Chilean wine, so I did not care to visit the area yet. When I find some good wine there, I will visit. [bleh.gif] [pillow-fight.gif]

There is a place in DC that is a hole in the wall with good empanadas for cheap. I forget the name.

2007 Clos de los Siete is a bargain. I would not hesitate to hold that wine for 5 more years.
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#47 Post by Linda Baehr » July 6th, 2009, 3:28 pm

Michael Bowden wrote:
Roberto Rogness wrote:Oh, right, she works at High Times...pretty chilly in there too!
I would guess chill.....

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#48 Post by Mark.Ricca » July 6th, 2009, 4:06 pm

You know, it just seems like people aren't a whole lot into showering these days.

[swoon.gif]
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Re: More Saturday Retail Funnies

#49 Post by Matthew Brown » July 6th, 2009, 6:49 pm

Ian Dorin wrote:Email from one of my staff this weekend.....

"Had a customer strongly encouraging us to add a large selection of Kosher German wines to the store this weekend. He lives out of state, but would easily come back once a year for a few bottles."

headbang
See, just another example of a retailer not willing to go that extra mile for their customer [swearing.gif]

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Re: More Saturday Retail Funny's

#50 Post by Nick Gladdis » July 6th, 2009, 9:26 pm

James Wright wrote:NFL is actually a TLA (threeletteracronym)

= Not For Long =

I thought it meant "no f*ck lime" when I ordered a mexican beer.
"I drink to make other people interesting".

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