How do you spot a WineBerserker?

He’s (She’s) the one Coravin’ing into a Zalto.
(I just thought of this as I did the same; might as well get a “geek” tattoo; it would be cheaper.)

He’s the one counting his bottles while holding a small ruler.

I never had the impression that Todd was that small…

Usually by the smell.

eye roll at the mention of RMP’s latest 100 pointer

I like that, Warren!

Alternatively, he/she’s the one:

– trying to dream up a poll about wine.
– who relishes arguing about the flavors and merits of wines he/she hasn’t tasted, or tasted from different bottles.
– wondering if other people are signing up for the same mailing lists.

Usually spot 'em with a tactical green laser sight mounted on an AK-47…

Horrible choice. Accuracy beyond 200 meters is inherently terrible.

Also buy American. Since you are in Italy, for close quarters you can get a shotgun (Guerini or Benelli).

Let’s face it…I am no good with guns. I will end up using a baseball bat or sharp instrument anyway. Maybe a Wes Covington autograph model Louisville Slugger…

I prefer a Marucci Maple Bat @ 33 inches.

HK is the way to go. Guns, dogs and cars the Germans have down.

Most people would say “it’s the guy who brings a case of his own stems into a restaurant”, but I think that the true Berserker is actually the one diner who doesn’t look at the glass-bringer like he’s a freak.

Rather than the mocking grin, he gives a knowing nod.

The Berserker is the guy trying to get corkage of his favorite wine while visiting a different winery’s tasting room.

The Berserker is the guy who, when he hears the name Robert parker, slowly turns…

The Berserker is the guy who obsesses over which wines go best with kimchee, asparagus, and balut.

At a redneck party, the Berserker is the one who fills his spit cup faster than the guy chewing Copenhagen.

(Gender disclaimer: I used the term “guy” because I am one. feel free to use “girl,” instead!)

Or a truly blunt instrument…prose.

The Berserker is the one that shows up at a restaurant with a pistol case…and inside are his stems.

Props, Chris.

Step by step. Inch by inch…

The Berserker is the one whose blood pressure goes up with any mention of the word Squires.

The Berserkers are the couple craning their necks over to the next table and beyond to see what that bottle is that is being opened over there. If a trip to the ladies’ room is necessary to get that perfect view, then so be it. When all else fails, they are the ones who motion the waiter over to ask what was being poured. Hateful, aren’t we?