Wine Snob or Wine Geek? Take The Test

Interesting article on Forbes…so…which are you? (and where does “Berserker” fit in?)

I am firmly in the geek camp, with a couple exceptions. Unless it’s the only option, I wouldn’t drink wine out of a tumbler. I think it’s clumsy and limits you from swirling and developing a nose on the thing. That said, all the specialized glasses seem like marketing BS for the most part and we only have a couple types of glasses.

I also don’t really share wine I’m seriously curious about with groups of people. I don’t have any “wine friends” to drink with. My girlfriend being the exception, I guess we just don’t really know enough people who care about the wine. So in that sense, we have no friends, only bottles.

I have probably annoyed people at group tastings with my incessant questions though, so that should be enough to tip me firmly into the geek group.

Geek.

Weinheinie.

Geek

It offers nothing to cause anyone to engage in any self-reflection, but I guess the object was just a quick laugh. I’m surprised there was no mention of points in the “wine snob” list.

You Might be a Wine Snob if:
•You have no idea what anyone else thinks about the wines at the end of a wine dinner.
My friends would never let that happen

•You believe using improper glassware to be a criminal offense and would never consider drinking wine from a tumbler.
Depends on the wine. Quality burgundy? f*ck yes Im drinking it out of the right glass. Provance Rose? Tumbler is just fine. Even preferable.

•You find everyone else’s opinions on wine to be insufferably boring.
Depends on the person. Are they being intellectually curious or just showing off?

•You prefer not to socialize with people who drink beer or other ‘pedestrian’ beverages.
Does this fit anyone?

•You never ask questions about the wine, because you know it all anyway.
Does not apply to me.

•Your spouse disappears when you start talking about wine.
Sometimes…

•Your dog disappears when you start taking about wine.
N/A

•You have no friends, only wine bottles.
I have friends with wine bottles

You Might be a Wine Geek if:

•You select a wine in a restaurant because you’ve never heard of it before.
That is in the realm of possibility. But if being bent over by wine list prices Im more likely to settle on a sure thing

•You know the difference between silt, clay and loam.
I don’t know what loam is

•You read wine blogs (thank you).
I read keith’s

•You examine wine closures because they are fascinating.
Dos not apply to me

•You have more questions at the end of a wine dinner.
My biggest question is usually “why did I eat and drink so much?”. My second biggest question is, "Why don’t I get a job that pays more?".

•Your wine retailer is a personal friend.
I have friends who sell wine, yes

•You have friends, lots of ‘em, because you are always opening and sharing unusual new wines.
I know a lot of people who I like to drink wine with

Here are some genuine questions:

You might be a wine snob if:

• You have brought a wine to a tasting and announced how many points it has as a point of pride
• You considered not bringing a particular wine to a tasting because it didn’t cost enough and you don’t want to be embarrassed
• You have ever been annoyed that someone else bought an inexpensive wine to a tasting/dinner.
• You rarely drink any wines other than Napa/Bordeaux/Champagne/Burgundy
• You beam with pride when other diners in a restaurant look at the bottle on your table and seem impressed
• You are afraid to publically praise a wine that is “low end” or inexpensive
• You only buy first growths, grand crus, cults, etc
• The first thing you read each month in wine spectator is the collector profile
• You have used the word “lumber” when referencing wine non-ironically
• You have been to a tasting and ignored someone because they are neither sexy nor an important collector
• You only post tasting notes on WB for expensive/rare bottles
• You don’t really form your own opinions but just decide to like what is “hot” at the moment or highly rated

You might be a wine geek if:

• You spend more than an hour a day on Wine Berserkers
• You have read more than one wine book in the last 30 days
• A wine has made you emotional
• You have ever given more than a moments thought to pruning systems, vine spacing, maceration times, oak stave aging or refrigerated shipping
• You love learning minutia about a wine region
• You are socially awkward at parties unless the topic is about wine, then you are way charming
• You have tasted more than one wine from the Santa Cruz mountains or Jura
• You have a favorite Chenin Blanc producer
• You have wondered what wine aged in an amphora tastes like
• You know what a “grower champagne” is
• You know what “premox” means

What if I buy Carlos Rossi and refer to it as "en magnum?

baller

Berry - great list! And here’s to Santa Cruz wines!

Jura, obviously, but I didn’t realize the Santa Cruz Mountains were geeky. I wonder if that’s a sign too.

[I got sidetracked by work and fell behind Berry’s much better post in this vein, but I’ll throw it up here anyways, with apologies for any overlap]

Since the concept was much more clever than the article itself, we should make up our own. Better still, we should make up one with a WB flair.


You might be a wine snob if:

• You proclaim that you’re right because you’ve tried more Burgundy than the rest of the board put together.

• More than 75% of your posts on the board consist of sneering at other people’s tasting notes.

• You have used the phrases “cough medicine,” “pancake syrup” and “rocket fuel” more than 100 times apiece to describe expensive wine.

• You have hosted a tasting where everyone must bring a RP 100 point bottle.

• You routinely use the phases “en magnum” and “en premieur”

• You have photographed yourself pouring Screaming Eagle down the drain

• You have scathingly belittled someone for saying they were going to attend the Wine Spectator tasting event
  
  
  You might be a wine geek if:

• You read every word of that multi-page thread debating whether petite sirah is or is not a Rhone grape

• You have passionate feelings about the use of “variety” versus “varietal”

• You occasionally catch yourself swirling non-wine beverages in your hand

• Your office is full of wine shipper boxes because you’re reluctant to bring them home and have your spouse see how much you’ve been buying

• You have pets named after wine terms, like a dog named “Beaune” or a cat named “Lafite.”

• You know what SQN, QPR, QC, CnDP, RP, WA, JL, AG, ST, IWC, WS, KB, BoJo, Cru Boo, ABV, LdH, GPL, PC, WB and eBob stand for (I just frightened myself).

• You have ever brought wine to a restaurant in a decanter

• Commercial winemakers make a pilgrimage to tasting dinners at your house
  
  
  [Hopefully that was lighthearted and diffuse enough not to offend anyone; but if you were offended, you’re probably a wine snob ]

Ruh-roh.

^ This ^ with a side of irony, since the main thrust of the article seems to be to allow the reader to feel superior to others by putting himself in the “geek” camp.

Based on both mine and Chris’s list I am a partial wine snob

But the fact that you can even say that about yourself (without wearing it like a badge of honor) probably means you aren’t a wine snob. We need to revise the lists more.

Your spouse disappears when you start talking about wine.

flawed questioning.

Based on Crawford and Seiber’s criteria, definitely a geek, partially a snob. This probably applies to my other hobbies/interests such as photography, traveling, consumer electronics.

Meh - The snob part yes. The geek part, a few misses for me.

Guilty of this because I drink what I like. WAIT! I’m saved by Italy and Oregon Pinot!

• You rarely drink any wines other than Napa/Bordeaux/Champagne/Burgundy