Reason #876 why I'm glad I don't work in a wine store.....

I stopped in a wine store this afternoon to do a little shopping, and while I was checking out, this woman asked for help. The conversation:

Woman: Do you have Malbec?
Clerk: We have several Malbecs, is there one in particular you’re looking for?
Woman: [Pause] Yes, MALBEC.
Clerk: Well, Malbec is the kind of wine, and many different wineries
make Malbec.
Woman: [Longer Pause] Yes, I want a RED Malbec.
Clerk: Oh yes, we have red Malbec, let me show you what we have.

They saunter over to the displays, and he points out a Malbec in particular that he recommends. She shakes her head vigorously, and finally mentions a specific Malbec and asks if they carry that. They don’t, but he points her to a few others.

Oh, and during this entire episode, she’s chatting away on her cell phone about something else…

Bruce

I’m no lawyer, but it sounds like justification for murder-suicide.

Naw…justifiable homicide

Bruce,

The “Who’s on First” Malbec bit doesn’t bother me at all – it’s the “I must always be on the cell phone during this transaction” stuff that drives me nuts.

a side note but kinda germane from earlier this afternoon:

me [pouring]: and here’s our 2008 Zinfandel from Lake County.
guest [puzzled with furrowed brow]: hmmm. i’ve never seen a red Zinfandel.

goes with the territory.

Move it to Pimps …

A fair time ago, I dealt with a woman on a cell phone in deep conversation and that needed help.

I told her I’d wait for her to get off the phone.

She told her friend on the phone that I was being rude to her because I won’t help her since she was on the phone. Gotta love it!!!

I always tell people to finish their calls and I politely step away, this way it’s more private for them, and more quiet for me!

I have had patients in a hospital bed hold up their index finger to me while on their cell phone!

Why does it seem like the most stupid people speak the longest and loudest on their cell phones in public?
I am so sick of hearing idiotic, high decibel conversations that I have no interest in. I once asked someone to please lower their volume and got an earful about how rude I was…

A friend of mine was on the Acela between NY and Washington, and a woman in the same carriage was on her cell phone talking loudly about how Shi$ty her life was; her boyfriend didn’t want to commit, her boss didn’t respect her, she was living in a tiny studio with an untidy roommate etc etc. Finally my friend could bear it no longer; she tapped the woman on the shoulder and murmured softly, “If I were you, I would just commit suicide.”

Apparently that finally stopped here: my friend thinks it was because she was embarrassed, I think it unlikely given the fact she was a type to yell on her cell. I put it down to the fact that she was marveling at the proper use of the subjunctive.

Evening all,

When I worked in a rather spiffy London wine merchant I got asked many asinine things but one oft-asked question was so totally depressing that it always made my already worrying mood plummet to horrific depths:

Customer: “I have to buy a present for a wine loving friend of mine. I want a famous Bordeaux name that he’ll have heard of and be impressed by and I want to spend less than £7 (~$11).”

Given I am a straight-talking Englishman and I despise miserly cheeseparers about as much as I loath the unspeakably vile filth that is cheap Claret I am still amazed that the air in that shop was not constantly blue due to me spewing the profanity-laced invective these people clearly deserved.

Knowing that I would not have to put up with such clodpoles any more made the inevitable suicide attempt followed by the boss visiting me in the loony bin to tell me I didn’t have a job to come back to much less disagreeable.

Cheers,
David.

Lovely…and that’s about as dry as it gets.

I love your reportage,David and I hope all is well.

Hello again,

If I may expand on the topic of purchasing weirdness, two anecdotes that demonstrate the staggering unintelligibility of the denizens of my woeful London locality spring to mind.

I was quite surprised when in a queue to buy a train ticket and the lady in front of me started haggling with the ticket office chap to try and get a discount on the £1.90 fare into central London.

Haggling for train tickets surely shows an impressive lack of understanding about how the modern world works, but this was small beer compared to the old lady ahead of me in the post office queue who asked the person behind the counter if they could ask the man who takes the letters to Ghana if he would be kind enough to give her a discount. The man who takes the letters to Ghana? The mind boggles…

Cheers,
David.

David–What passes for bizarre here in the States is merely eccentric in your neck of the woods.

Bruce

Did he give her a discount?

Great story. Some people just have to haggle in any & every situation.

DNR.

Could you get away with turning to a nurse and saying, prep this person for their leg amputation as soon as they are finished with their call?

Ha! I got 2 Lola’s in thus thread:
“Clodpole” and “DNR”

When I walk into an exam room (I virtually always run on time), & a patient is on their phone, I give them about 30 seconds to wrap it up. If they continue talking, I just say, “I’ll come back later when you’re finished,” & walk out the door. Then I see 2 or 3 other patients before returning (giving them ample time to finish their conversation ). And, just to be clear, I don’t answer my cell phone when I’m in an exam room w/ a patient.