Funny but I wonder:
PS: dig how the label states it is MOSTLY garganega (the Soave variety) but it is in lighter type on the label and non existent on the POS!!!
Is it in a floor stack next to this?
Heck if these things get approved, why wouldn’t others.
LOL! You beat me to it! After all the hooplah over the 1993 Mouton Balthus label (which Mouton voluntarily withdrew from the US market before any action was taken- so we will never know what would have gone down), it is funny to see what passes muster now.
I think if nothing else it shows how dumbed down our culture is becoming. “Bitch” or “Mommy’s Time Out” (ie Mommy needs a drink because she has not yet figured out that “time out” is an ineffective form of punishment compared to old fashioned ways) is something the masses can relate to. A beautiful painting- not so much.
And so the latter makes an easier target for those who have to find easy battles to promote their causes.
We have a group of soccer moms from the Palisades who come in to provision what they call “Three Martini Play Dates”. That could be a good name for a Gin…
Larry Mawby was quite surprised when this label got approved:
It has been a big hit for him.
And yeah, we’ve got Mommy’s Time Out around out here.
No back label I suppose? I find it weird they don’t even have to write alc% or the actual volume of the bottle. I think they are opening themselves to somebody drinking 3 bottles of this, driving back home, getting arrested for DUI and then suing them because “hey, it didn’t say it contained alcohol”…
Quality aside, I see these labels as the next step in the evolution of our wine culture, serving the same purpose as the Aussie driven critter labels (RIP) that brought hordes of peeps to the wine table, many (not all, of course) of whom have traded up and up, continuously exploring what their palates will enjoy. From the perspective of growing our natonal/regional wine culture, these labels serve as a gateway drug, of sorts, for many who otherwise wouldn’t partake.
What’s worse than the labels from Naked Wine is the descriptions of the wines.
Penetration Cab
BACK LABEL
Penetration is a woody wine with depth. A big upfront nose with a solid oak presence. Rich cherry and plum flavors rub the buds deep down on your tongue. Watch the legs release as they spread to perfection down the glass and feel the solid oak presence grow. Intense concentration with a huge extract. Open up, relax and get Penetrated tonight.
Dominatrix Pinot
BACK LABEL
Dark black cherry flavors with gripping leather dominate the tightly wound oak characteristics that are fiery and intense. This Domme has a velvety texture that will whip your taste buds into a frenzy. Thrusty muscle overtones with good intensity release into an unyielding spicy finish. Everyone should experience Dominatrix at least once in their life.
Missionary Cab
BACK LABEL
Forget laying this wine down for a later date. It was meant to be taken advantage of right away… of course that’s our position. It has a good tannic feel initially with playful fruit on top and ripe cherries lying beneath. But enough of our preaching, what’s your position?
Foreplay Chardonnay
BACK LABEL
Foreplay teases your senses upfront with a bouquet of luscious ripe fruit. No hurry here… once uncorked, let it breathe and work into a nice rhythm as it warms up. Anticipate the sweetness at the end, complimenting the silky tannins. A little Foreplay goes a long way.
That’s referred to as a Six-Month Time Out for Mommy. If you’re gonna go…go large!