Oh, the irony: when snarky reviews go wrong

I was reading about a winery on an island in Lake Erie because it happens to have a huge (world’s largest, apparently) celestite geode, then browsed a few reviews on google maps.

Now, I wasn’t expecting anything profound from the winery or reviewers given this isn’t a major wine region, but then found this little gem: Google Maps

The actual wine is disgusting. It’s like they mixed rubbing alcohol with cheap grape juice. It’s horrendous - I don’t have any nice words to say about their products. . . . .

If I were the owners, I’d expense a trip out to Napa and tour Orin Swift or Caymus. I think they could learn A LOT from them.

Reminds me of the time I went to the mom and pop Italian restaurant, and told the manager to go to Buca di Beppo to learn a lot. Or the time I went to a burger stand, and told the owner to go to Red Robin to learn how to make a burger. [snort.gif]

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Some people sure can be spicy

Wow, Buca di Beppo and Red Robin. Big throwback. I could go for some steak fries now.

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So, they’re suggesting that the winery learn from highly successful wine businesses that make wines that appeal to a broad range of consumers?

Burgers are good [wow.gif]

The suggestions is the equivalent of asking to make steaks like Outback rather than Peter Luger.
And fried chicken from KFC rather than Thomas Keller.
If you are going to be an elitist snob, at least choose better options.

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If they had stated that the winery was grossly unprofitable and poorly run from a promotion, distribution, and marketing standpoint, then their suggestions to look at successful wine businesses would be on point.

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True, but my guess is the winery was trying to make wines like the critics favorites.

Correction: bottomless Steak fries

I’m not sure the writer was trying to be an elitist snob if he was referencing Orin Swift. I’d probably agree with you in not caring for their wines, but that brand is definitely not elitist or snobby. It feels more like if someone said “Yugos suck, they should look at Kia and Nissan to learn how to make better cars.”

To me the problem isn’t the poor taste in wine, but the suggestion that winemakers in Lake Erie could make juice that tastes like Napa if only they “learned something.” That smug ignorance is the part that reflects poorly IMO.

So she is suggesting to educate themselves away from their shit wine by learning from Wineries with Shit wine…makes sense🤷‍♂️.

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Probably has no idea what terroir means.

Bingo.

What does a tiny tourist winery in a harsh continental climate have to do with cynical, high volume producers of ultra premium priced big reds in an arid region? Granted, Caymus and Orin Swift are better than “rubbing alcohol with cheap grape juice”, but don’t exactly have the best reputation for balanced alcohol and non-confected/un-jammy fruit flavors.

I think I was being generous in comparing Caymus and Orin Swift to Red Robin and Buca di Beppo, to be honest. It’s hard to think of a restaurant that is simultaneously broadly appealing, staggeringly mediocre, and yet has overpriced luxury cachet. Maybe a chain steakhouse on the decline? Buca and Red Robin at least are not overpriced for what they are.

I have no guess there. It remains an island shrouded in mystery to me.

Sounds like they’re making wine from concentrate. Likely vitis labrusca. You can still buy that stuff. Very old school for home winemaking as well as wineries far from decent grape sources. No harvest time constraints or need for that vintage nonsense.

The person knew the wine was terrible, knew much better wine is achievable, but didn’t know much about wine or how one could learn to make better wine.

Something tells me this reviewer can be quite the troll. I’d imagine they have some fantastic one liners on Twitter.

I can think of one, Salt Bae’s Nusr-Et [wink.gif]

Wow. So Orin Swift and Caymus are “Shit”? It may not be to your taste, but that doesn’t make it “Shit”. Those are wines made by people. How would you feel if someone told you something you made was shit?

Be kind.

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I was being kind :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: