Avaline Wine??

As anyone tried the new “clean” Avaline wine of CameronDiaz (who she?? Somebody famous, I gather? Can she discuss the Higgs Bosun? Why hasn’t she asked me out on a date?). Did it make you feel pure & clean again?? I’ve not seen it on the shelf yet. When I do, I’ll, of course, take one for the team.
Tom

Her BFF Gwyneth has some new wines, too, and they’re more than just “clean”:

Dressed impeccably in a white silk kaftan, Paltrow, who broadcast the press conference from her home, explained the narrative arc of the brand. “We chose to release seven wines, and we’ll always have only seven wines, because each wine represents one of the seven chakras.” Paltrow went on to explain that each wine will have its own name under the Nanakatva brand. Just as wineries name certain bottlings after specific vineyard designates, the Nanakatva portfolio of wines will be named for each of the chakras and will include Crown (Chardonnay), Third Eye (Pinot Noir), Throat (Zinfandel), Heart (Cabernet Sauvignon), Solar Plexus (Sauvignon Blanc), Sacral (Merlot), and Root (Syrah).

Paltrow explained the wines will not have a winemaker, per se, but instead an Overseer, who will care for the health and vibrancy of the wines leading up to their bottling. “I found this amazing shaman, who is also a Feng Shui Master, living in the remote reaches of Topanga Canyon. He’s super gifted. He’ll come in to the cellar on a regular basis and bless the wines, tuning them to vibrate at the same frequency.” Each varietal wine will be stored in its own partitioned room, the lights of each room reflecting the colors of each chakra. “For example,” Paltrow explained, “the Crown wines, which are Chardonnay, will be kept under deep purple lights, while the Third Eye wines, which are Pinot Noir, will be aged in tanks under indigo colored lights.”

Each of the partitioned cellars will be equipped with a state-of-the-art sound system playing the Om chant on loop. “It’s the most mystical syllable,” Paltrow added. Humidifiers releasing pure lavender essence will be used throughout elevage, ensuring, as Paltrow added, “that the wines will be relaxed and soothed throughout their raising.”

Love this (though hard to beat any of it):

living in the remote reaches of Topanga Canyon

BTW, I am more of a Cameron Diaz phone–thought of her as sane, but that was an actress, not an “influencer,” or whatever Gwenyth now is.

This was amazing. I imagine some people might take it seriously though, to which point I would encourage them to look at the date this article was published

GTK

I think Cameron retired from acting; this must be her new gig.

Man… it’s a scary world out there. Went by my local Smith’s wine department to see if I could find the Avaline. Holy crap… probably half the labels I’d never heard of. beBrazen?? ButterCup?? CupCake??
Wow. But no Avaline. I was wanting to feel clean after my bike ride and not take a shower!!
Tom

Did The Hosemaster of Wine write that?

Saw Cameron on Fallon. Sounds like she and her friend read one of those Chicken Little articles about all the adds and manipulations in the winery and toxins in the vineyard then went out on a crusade to make something different. Her wallet found her a winemaker to do just that. So, now we have the world’s first minimal intervention wines made from organically farmed grapes. I can’t wait!

I linked to this on another thread, but Alder Yarrow’s Vinography blog points that Avaline does use various additives.

-Al

No surprise, really. When a “natural wine” wine maker on this board just admitted to acidulation. So, use SO2, acidulate, use Lodi Cab fruit he claims is as good as one in Napa, and still insist its “natural”. While some of us only do SO2 adds, nothing else (really nothing else!), use way better fruit, and oak, and do not insist on a “label” of any sort. Though, by default, its UnNatural, right?

Its all a con game dependent on consumers who do not know better. As a winemaker once told me, “One can sell horse piss in a bottle if they market it right.” True.

BTW, Avaline wine claims 100ppm SO2, no one in their right mind would do that. But, you know, its “clean”. Wondering if Diaz can tell white wine from red in a blind format (black glass). Though, not really wondering, willing to bet, heavily.