"What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

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Neal.Mollen
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"What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#1 Post by Neal.Mollen » October 27th, 2019, 1:16 pm

Shifting and sorting and reorganizing in the cellar, I came upon a number of bottles for which there are no credible explanations. There has never been a time in my life when I would buy this malvasia, and there is no plausible set of circumstances in which anyone might have given it to me. All told, I have a half dozen of these obscure, cheap anomalies. I can only assume that at some point, looking for safety, they formed a gang and broke into my cellar, then buried themselves under mountains of wine I might actually drink.

Is this a common threat to domestic security confronting wine lovers worldwide, or have I been singled out for this heinous form of home invasion?
Last edited by Neal.Mollen on October 27th, 2019, 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#2 Post by Kris Patten » October 27th, 2019, 1:23 pm

When we moved 2 years ago I found a dozen bottles I have no clue about, so assuming my wife or her family left them in there after a holiday visit or some such. Also found a couple things I had completely forgotten about as a lot of wood boxes were double deep, but found a 6 pack of Penfolds Bin 707 and a 6 pack of Faiveley Clos des Corton magnums, so that made me feel better about the random crap that I found.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#3 Post by Neal.Mollen » October 27th, 2019, 1:27 pm

Kris Patten wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:23 pm
When we moved 2 years ago I found a dozen bottles I have no clue about, so assuming my wife or her family left them in there after a holiday visit or some such. Also found a couple things I had completely forgotten about as a lot of wood boxes were double deep, but found a 6 pack of Penfolds Bin 707 and a 6 pack of Faiveley Clos des Corton magnums, so that made me feel better about the random crap that I found.
"Completely forgot about" is one thing. Happens all the time. In fact, at my age, it happens with increasing frequency as grey cells go dark one by one.

But seriously, there is absolutely zero chance I bought these wines, and who would bring me a $10 malvasia? Not a chance.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#4 Post by Kris Patten » October 27th, 2019, 1:28 pm

Neal.Mollen wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:27 pm
Kris Patten wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:23 pm
When we moved 2 years ago I found a dozen bottles I have no clue about, so assuming my wife or her family left them in there after a holiday visit or some such. Also found a couple things I had completely forgotten about as a lot of wood boxes were double deep, but found a 6 pack of Penfolds Bin 707 and a 6 pack of Faiveley Clos des Corton magnums, so that made me feel better about the random crap that I found.
"Completely forgot about" is one thing. Happens all the time. In fact, at my age, it happens with increasing frequency as grey cells go dark one by one.

But seriously, there is absolutely zero chance I bought these wines, and who would bring me a $10 malvasia? Not a chance.
I forgot about the 2 6-packs, the other 12 were Moscatos and inexpensive Cali Pinot and there is less than zero chance I put there.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#5 Post by Chris Freemott » October 27th, 2019, 1:32 pm

Drunken Garagiste plunders?

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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#6 Post by Neal.Mollen » October 27th, 2019, 1:45 pm

Chris Freemott wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:32 pm
Drunken Garagiste plunders?
LOL, Garagiste was my first thought! And these do have that garagiste "the Petrus of the Balearic Islands" stench. But while I absolutely bought crazy stuff from them, not in my most impressionable state would I have purchased these.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#7 Post by Robert.A.Jr. » October 27th, 2019, 1:54 pm

I did not gift it to you cause I don’t even know what it is!

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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#8 Post by Neal.Mollen » October 27th, 2019, 1:55 pm

Robert.A.Jr. wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:54 pm
I did not gift it to you cause I don’t even know what it is!
EXACTLY my point
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#9 Post by robert creth » October 27th, 2019, 1:58 pm

I usually find such bottles after a holiday party at my home. Many of my friends are lovely people with little taste in wine.

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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#10 Post by Neal.Mollen » October 27th, 2019, 2:00 pm

robert creth wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:58 pm
I usually find such bottles after a holiday party at my home. Many of my friends are lovely people with little taste in wine.
By definition, my friends have no taste at all, but I am 100% certain this is not the explanation.

Fortunately, bottle #1 was just what we needed for the short ribs on the menu for tonight.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#11 Post by Eric Lundblad » October 27th, 2019, 2:05 pm

This is the wine equivalent of TPing someone's house
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#12 Post by Robert.A.Jr. » October 27th, 2019, 2:14 pm

Eric Lundblad wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 2:05 pm
This is the wine equivalent of TPing someone's house

Now that is some funny shite!

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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#13 Post by Robert M yers » October 27th, 2019, 2:18 pm

So where are the half dozen bottles that you are missing. Seems like a switcharoo, they were possibly hoping your heirs would find them before you.

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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#14 Post by Markus S » October 27th, 2019, 2:58 pm

Perhaps a real estate agent gifted it to you after purchasing your vacation home?
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#15 Post by Marcu$ Stanley » October 27th, 2019, 5:19 pm

Neal.Mollen wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:45 pm
And these do have that garagiste "the Petrus of the Balearic Islands" stench.
[snort.gif]

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#16 Post by AndyK » October 27th, 2019, 6:38 pm

Sounds familiar. Likely wines I bought to comp a tasting fee at a winery I visited while on vacation and the wine wasn't horrible... [head-bang.gif]
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#17 Post by David Glasser » October 27th, 2019, 8:50 pm

Have you ever lost a set of keys? A favorite pen or, considering a $10 Malvasia, a cheap one? Transmogrification, baby!

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#18 Post by David Baum » October 27th, 2019, 10:11 pm

Wine has alcohol in it. Sometimes that leads to shit you don't remember

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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#19 Post by Todd Hamina » October 27th, 2019, 10:18 pm

Robert.A.Jr. wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 2:14 pm
Eric Lundblad wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 2:05 pm
This is the wine equivalent of TPing someone's house

Now that is some funny shite!
I feel some evil brewing...
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#20 Post by Rudi Finkler » October 28th, 2019, 12:34 am

Neal.Mollen wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:16 pm
...
Is this a common threat to domestic security confronting wine lovers worldwide, or have I been singled out for this heinous form of home invasion?
You are not the only wine lover worldwide, myself included, who is affected by mysterious cellar infiltrations, but you are the first one who openly raised this issue, Neal. Therefore, I would suggest that we name it the “Mollen Phenomenon”.
BTW, I was shocked recently when I saw a Saint-Emilion with 14,5% alcohol in my cellar. No clue how this could happen. [scratch.gif]
Last edited by Rudi Finkler on October 28th, 2019, 1:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#21 Post by Mike Miller » October 28th, 2019, 1:12 am

When you have people over, they sneak into you cellar to leave “gifts” to make you wonder about your sanity. Somewhere in there, you’ll find a bottle of Boone’s Farm strawberry Hill!!

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#22 Post by Robert.A.Jr. » October 28th, 2019, 2:40 am

Rudi Finkler wrote:
October 28th, 2019, 12:34 am
BTW, I was shocked recently when I saw a Saint-Emilion with 14,5% alcohol in my cellar. No clue how this could happen. [scratch.gif]
Ha, but those have propagated like the Zombie apocalypse, so the infiltration does make some sense. You probably have some 15%s in there, too. Burn it, don’t open the cellar.
Last edited by Robert.A.Jr. on October 28th, 2019, 4:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#23 Post by Scott Brunson » October 28th, 2019, 3:09 am

Rudi Finkler wrote:
October 28th, 2019, 12:34 am

BTW, I was shocked recently when I saw a Saint-Emilion with 14,5% alcohol in my cellar. No clue how this could happen. [scratch.gif]
How often does Rolland come over to play? [cheers.gif]
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#24 Post by Eric Egan » October 28th, 2019, 8:05 am

Did you win a raffle?
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#25 Post by Mike Grammer » October 28th, 2019, 8:35 am

Client gift. Has to be. Maybe you buried them for a reason? I'm not saying all Malvasia is bad, mind you...
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#26 Post by Jeff_M. » October 28th, 2019, 8:52 am

We have wine that people bring over for events or holidays and usually save it for them to drink next time they come over for an event. Betting that's what happened here and it just got sorted into your regular stash of wine instead of set aside.
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#27 Post by John Kight » October 28th, 2019, 9:02 am

Neal.Mollen wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:45 pm
...[W]hile I absolutely bought crazy stuff from them, not in my most impressionable state would I have purchased these.
Wow. You must really hate $10 Malvasia!

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#28 Post by Rudi Finkler » October 28th, 2019, 9:27 am

Robert.A.Jr. wrote:
October 28th, 2019, 2:40 am
Rudi Finkler wrote:
October 28th, 2019, 12:34 am
BTW, I was shocked recently when I saw a Saint-Emilion with 14,5% alcohol in my cellar. No clue how this could happen. [scratch.gif]
Ha, but those have propagated like the Zombie apocalypse, so the infiltration does make some sense. You probably have some 15%s in there, too. Burn it, don’t open the cellar.
Too late, too late! I shot the bottle to pieces with a silver bullet and sprinkled the cellar with holy water. :-)
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#29 Post by Rudi Finkler » October 28th, 2019, 9:52 am

Scott Brunson wrote:
October 28th, 2019, 3:09 am
Rudi Finkler wrote:
October 28th, 2019, 12:34 am

BTW, I was shocked recently when I saw a Saint-Emilion with 14,5% alcohol in my cellar. No clue how this could happen. [scratch.gif]
How often does Rolland come over to play? [cheers.gif]
No way! He hates me. [cry.gif]
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#30 Post by Robert.A.Jr. » October 28th, 2019, 11:02 am

He hates Holy Water too!

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#31 Post by Tom G l a s g o w » October 28th, 2019, 12:34 pm

Could be other family members with plausible deniability.

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#32 Post by Victor Hong » October 28th, 2019, 12:43 pm

robert creth wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:58 pm
..... Many of my friends are lovely people with little taste in wine.
Better than tasteless friends with a love for your wine.
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#33 Post by Kevin Porter » October 28th, 2019, 12:44 pm

I have a modest cellar and have never had that happen. Plenty of "What the ....where TF did my bottles of ....go?" and the all too rare "Aha, I thought I'd drunk all of that" but never a find that i didn't remember buying or receiving as a gift.

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#34 Post by Victor Hong » October 28th, 2019, 12:44 pm

Eric Egan wrote:
October 28th, 2019, 8:05 am
Did you win a raffle?
Old-timers from the Robert Parker board must chuckle, and think of Andy.
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#35 Post by PeterH » October 28th, 2019, 12:52 pm

I've got a number of WTF wines in the cellar, but I do know how they got there.

Cherry wine from Michigan- friend who used to live in Michigan
Pear wine from Washington - same friend trying to torture me again
Unknown Bordeaux- not classified in any way, not found on cellartracker or winesearcher- neighbor
Sweet German red wine- neighbor- these wines show up at potlucks
Sauvignon Blanc from New Mexico- parents of daughter's ex-boyfriend.
1977 Washington State Chardonnay- the first bottle I opened (in 1979) was undrinkable. Somehow this bottle escaped being poured down the sink, and is now an historical artifact.
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#36 Post by Bob Davis » October 28th, 2019, 1:20 pm

When Zachy's was just about to deliver my stored wine this summer the first inventory they sent had Bryant, Hillside Select and a few other gems. But they eventually delivered the right bottles without the extras.
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#37 Post by Jay Miller » October 30th, 2019, 6:48 am

Heh, heh. My secret plan to gaslight Neal is working. Next I'll plant some Chinon in his cellar. Bwah, hah, hah!
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#38 Post by Richard Albert » October 30th, 2019, 8:08 am

Neal, do you have any other $10 bottles in the cellar?
Just a starting point...
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#39 Post by lleichtman » October 30th, 2019, 2:17 pm

Neal.Mollen wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:16 pm
Shifting and sorting and reorganizing in the cellar, I came upon a number of bottles for which there are no credible explanations. There has never been a time in my life when I would buy this malvasia, and there is no plausible set of circumstances in which anyone might have given it to me. All told, I have a half dozen of these obscure, cheap anomalies. I can only assume that at some point, looking for safety, they formed a gang and broke into my cellar, then buried themselves under mountains of wine I might actually drink.

Is this a common threat to domestic security confronting wine lovers worldwide, or have I been singled out for this heinous form of home invasion?
I am constantly finding wines that I had no idea were in the cellar and never remember buying. I think my wife has been buying them and not telling me, then just putting them in the cellar. Come across them when doing quarterly inventory update. Most of them are undrinkable.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#40 Post by Anton D » October 30th, 2019, 5:23 pm

Neal.Mollen wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:16 pm
Shifting and sorting and reorganizing in the cellar, I came upon a number of bottles for which there are no credible explanations. There has never been a time in my life when I would buy this malvasia, and there is no plausible set of circumstances in which anyone might have given it to me. All told, I have a half dozen of these obscure, cheap anomalies. I can only assume that at some point, looking for safety, they formed a gang and broke into my cellar, then buried themselves under mountains of wine I might actually drink.

Is this a common threat to domestic security confronting wine lovers worldwide, or have I been singled out for this heinous form of home invasion?
It's your kids that done it.
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Re: "What the . . . Where TF did this come from?"

#41 Post by David Glasser » October 30th, 2019, 6:15 pm

Anton D wrote:
October 30th, 2019, 5:23 pm
Neal.Mollen wrote:
October 27th, 2019, 1:16 pm
Shifting and sorting and reorganizing in the cellar, I came upon a number of bottles for which there are no credible explanations. There has never been a time in my life when I would buy this malvasia, and there is no plausible set of circumstances in which anyone might have given it to me. All told, I have a half dozen of these obscure, cheap anomalies. I can only assume that at some point, looking for safety, they formed a gang and broke into my cellar, then buried themselves under mountains of wine I might actually drink.

Is this a common threat to domestic security confronting wine lovers worldwide, or have I been singled out for this heinous form of home invasion?
It's your kids that done it.
They were hoping you wouldn’t notice the missing 2001 Yquem they replaced with the $10 Malvasia.

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