TN: More Bottom Feeding @ Total Wine...(short/boring)

Tried these three bottom-feeders from TotalWine last night:

  1. Frosting Buttercream Chard Calif VintnersReserve (13.5%; VintnersReserve:“receives an extra layer of frosting”) V&B by ButtercreamWnry/AmericanCanyon 2016: Med.dark gold color; strong buttery/diacetyl/movie theatre popcorn rather buttery/oakripe/melony/Chard/tropical fruit/pineapple quite lush nose; soft/fat/underacid/porky light tropical fruit/Chard/pineapple strong buttery/diacetyl/oak/movie popcorn rich/lush/off-dry (0.7-0.8% r.s.?) rather simple flavor; med.long soft/fat/porky slightly sweet strong buttery/diacetyl/movie popcorn slight Chard/tropical fruit finish w/ an aftertaste of heavily buttered toast that goes on&on; boring as hell but not actually as revolting as I expected; loads of butter but not that obviously oak; probably never see’d the inside of a barrel in its life; clearly a manufactured/confected Chard as only FredFranzia could do; speaks of Chard w/ a whisper; way overpriced at $19.00 (TW)

  1. Dom.des Hunaudieres Dd’OP: Luberon Les24 (95% Clairette/5% Bourboulenc; 12.5%; SarantyImports) JeanGuichet/Luberon; B by Maison Denuziere/Condrieu 2018: Med.yellow color; pleasant enough pear/floral/rather CdRBlanc light stony/chalky rather quiet nose; bit soft light chalky/stony some pear/apple/floral some CdRBlanc slightly off-dry (0.2%-0.4% r.s.?) bit vapid/dull flavor; med.short bit soft light stony/chalky slight pear/floral finish; a pleasant enough if bit vapid/boring CdRBlanc but well below the Guigal CdRBlanc; speaks quietly of Clairette but BFD; way overpriced at $11.00 (TW)

  1. Bellini DessertWine Tuscan (16%; SarantyImports; 40% Malvasia Toscano/40% Trebbiano/10% Grechetto) CantineBellini/Rufina NV: Med.gold/orange/bit bronze color; strong grapey/passito/orangey light earthy bit oxidized slightly complex nose; soft quite sweet orangey/passito/grapey bit alcoholic/hot slight earthy flavor; long ripe/grapey/passito/orangey bit earthy finish; supposed to be like VinSanto but neither the complexity nor oxidation; a pleasant enough dessert wine but just that w/ its only redeeming feature the sweetness; overpriced at $20.00/hlf (TW)

A wee BloodyPulpit:

  1. KeithLevenberg gave this wine a strong recommendation as one of the best “natural” wines he’d tried, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I walked into TW ystrday morning & showed the sales rep (I find them always a bit pompous & full of themselves) the pic of Keith’s Facebook post and asked me if he had this wine. With a smirk on his face, he directed me to the floor stack.
    This is what the TW WebSite says:

The puff piece describes a wine that sounds utterly revolting. As Keith characterizes it: “A hate crime”. The wine was not that. Like most of FredFranzia’s wines, it was just merely boring as hell. I managed to choke down about two glasses before I got bored and opened up the Luberon. But I keep going back to it just to see how bad it really was. It’s actually a rather bizarre rendition of Calif Chard. Sorta like Quasimodo…somewhat endearing in a bizarre sort of way.
When I got home from SantaFe, I was beside myself wanting to crack this btl open. So I stuck it in the freezer for about 30 min which should make it nice & cold. When I pulled it out, about the top 1/3’rd of the btl was filled with this icy slush. Which indicates that it had a relatively high freezing point. Not quite sure what I can attribute that to in this wine, but it was nothing I’d seen before. Does ButterCream Frosting have a high freezing point?? One wonders whether Fred actually gave this wine a shot of diacetyl?


  1. Luberon: Apparently JeanGuichet is a famous LeMans race car driver from the '60’s. Maison Denuziere appears to be an actual wnry dating back to 1876, but they are apparently sold only by TotalWines, at least in the USofA. Another boring dog from SarantyImports.

  1. Bellini: This is an actual wnry in the Ruffina district of Chianti. They make a huge range of products, some in very weird shaped btls. The wines don’t look very interesting at all.
    I often find the dessert wines at TotalWine some of their best wines. This one was not. Another Saranty dog.
    Tom

Maybe it just needs more time in the cellar. [rofl.gif]

These are terroir wines, you know! They’re unique to its appellations!

“Crafted by multi-talented winemaker, Allison Crowe for Plata Wine Partners, she has crafted a long-term relationship with the vineyards to craft wines that are unique to its appellations.” - Buttercream Chardonnay | Total Wine & More

Why would you do this to yourself?

Alison Crowe is actually a talented wine maker. She makes seemingly half the wines for BevMo and a few flash sites and apparently for Total as well, but she also makes some fairly decent stuff. She doesn’t get the love on this board that other multi-brand wine makers do but she may be more versatile than any of them. And she seems to understand what the market wants.

But the name of that Chardonnay alone would put me off entirely.

Where is the puke icon when you need it?

Since the address was AmericanCanyon, I just assumed it was a FredFranzia wine. I was obviously wrong.
Tom

Same reason I tasted and reported on Apothic Inferno last year: Morbid curiosity.

Plus, it’s important to reconfirm one’s prejudices every so often.

You have to scroll down to the bottom of the Smilies box and click on View More Smilies.

OMG that sentence is quite possibly worse than the wine itself.

Tom - have you tried Butter Chardonnay? I have a morbid curiosity about this wine and every time I’m in TW, I want to buy it but just can’t.

“California - Butter Chardonnay has aromas of apple pie and a rich creaminess that surrounds you at each sip. Aged in oak, this wine sees brightness, complexity and depth in the creaminess.”

Nope, David. I’ve seen it there, but not been tempted to try it. The Buttercream was sooo over the top descriptions that I just had to take one for the team.
Tom

my thought exactly. I was going to ask, “why do you punish yourself?” Wine is about pleasure, not masochism.

I enjoy reading your bottom feeding notes (along with the rest of your posts). It provides good contrast to posts about people stumbling upon a forgot La Tache in their cellar. It helps ground the board a little. But buttercream…you may gone too far!!!

Perhaps, Alan. If it were merely about pleasure, though, I would drink nothing but Rideg/Carlisle/Bedrock/etc for
the rest of my life. But, to me, wine is also about exploring and learning new things. So Buttercream simply added to
my large data base. Which is why I try Amador Schioppettino and Mendocino Fiano and other such things.
Tom

BUTTERCREAM CHARDONNAY 750ml
California - Tastes like silken butter dripped over a fresh croissant. A decadent Chardonnay perfect for enjoying on the dock of the bay, the backyard, with friends, or really anywhere! Vegan

It would be fun if a natural wine marketed itself and embraced its stereotypes so confidently.

“Evocative aromas of a homeless encampment on a humid summer day. This wine is alive, like the biological containers in Prometheus. The wine tastes of stagnant pond water on an autumn early Sunday morning in Amsterdam, with decaying leaves, cigarette butts, and old fruit rinds. The perfect wine for enjoying at Burning Man, in a rent-controlled Brooklyn studio, or really anywhere! Artisanal"

Uhhhh, Chris…you do realize my labeling it a “natural” wine was just to jerk Keith’s chain, don’t you.
But your descriptor does evoke memories of some “natural” wines I’ve had. Good one.
Tom

Totally just having some fun with it, and I have nothing but respect for Keith.

I was mostly struck by how confidently they embrace the stereotype there. “Tastes like silken butter dripped over a fresh croissant. A decadent chardonnay.” And the name “Buttercream Chardonnay.”

Looking forward to “Merde Chinon” or to the “Enamel Remover Dolcetto.”

Butter was the chardonnay that started all the similar names. About 5 years ago it won our wine tasting group’s XMas chardonnay tasting with our wives.

It won because Rombauer chardonnay was excluded since it was the winner the year before.

They are trying to be Rombauer or chardonnays with fruit and oak on steroids.

Last year sometimes on Fridays I would stop at a Total Wine on the way to pick up my daughter and do their 1 cent tastings of 5 wines.

I finally realized all the wines they tasted were cheap and pretty bad so I stopped doing it.

Arrrgghh, Mike… Rombauer is always held up as the punching bag for overripe/over-oaked/toasty/off-dry/buttery/over-the-top/full-ML Calif Chard.
At one time…way back when…that was certainly true. It sealed their fate as characterizing that style of Chard.
But times changs…things change. Rombauer is no longer that kind of Chard. The current Rombauer Carneros Chard is not that at all.
I suggest you buy a btl (around $35…a bit pricey) and try it with an open mind. I think you’ll find it does not fit that above description at all.
It’s actually a pretty darned good Chard.
Tom

My wife’s friends it bring over and she drinks it. I usually drink reds which give her a headache.

Maybe 15 years ago Rombauer chardonnay got a reputation.

In a large gated community in Danville with mansions and a golf course, called Blackhawk, there are two place to buy wine - a bottle shop and a Safeway.

Whenever the new vintage of Rombauer chard hit those stores, attractive blonds in tennis outfits would storm the stores and buy it by the cases.

It’s now called “Danville Crack”.