Failed Master of Wine Dissertations (from Hosemaster of Wine)

Failed Master of Wine Dissertations

The Paris Tasting of 1976: Who the Fuck Cares
The Effect of Climate Change on BevMo’s Five Cent Sale
Vineyard Dogs: Their Effect on Sales, and Why They Do That Thing With Their Legs When You Scratch Their Stomach Just Like Angelo Gaja Does
Natural Wine: Does All That Hair Get Stuck in Your Teeth
Sommeliers on Tinder: Always Pick the Second Cheapest One
Champagne: How They Missed the Boat on the Charmat Process
Do Sexually Suggestive Wine Labels Sell More Wine to Stupid People, Drunk People or People With Serious Signs of Traumatic Brain Injury
If Tastebuds Were on Your Nipples, Would Wines Smell Better Cold
Are Wines Really All That Different: I Can’t Tell Them Apart and Neither Can You
Women in Wine: Is Three Hours Enough Time to Marinate
Is Every New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc Under $25 the Same Wine With a Different Label
South African Pinotage: Is it Better or Worse than Apartheid
Case Study: Slurping or Gargling, Which More Effectively Annoys Fellow Judges at Wine Competitions
Blind Tasting: Party Trick or Desperate Cry for Attention
Variety or Varietal: The Predictability of Lower I.Q. in People Who Use Varietal as a Noun
Swartland: Where Swart Comes From
When Austrian Wines Were Considered the Best in the World: What a Day That Was
Is a Penis Effective for Bâttonage. No, I’m Just Happy to See You

But when do we get to read the actual dissertations?

Lots of great subject matter!

This is a month and a half late (give or take a couple of days)! :grinning:

Still, very funny–and I don’t always like his stuff–thanks for posting!

I’ve never understood what people see in this guy’s humor. I didn’t crack a smile at the OP. Oh well, different strokes.

Corked wine, a matter of degree, or a quantum state?

Analysis of the Gaussian distribution of James Suckling’s wine ratings, evaluating his 6 point scale.

Jimmy Durand, a brief biography of the entertainer and wine opener inventor.

Pobega’d and Coravin’d - why is there a f***ing apostrophe in either one?

Todd an awful lot of PC sins in that post! Tsk! Tsk!

[snort.gif]

Brett: The best shit you’ll ever taste

Swabia - Nobody gives a shit

Exactly!

Dudes, because, technically, it is a contraction.

Do you see people write “vacationed” or “vacationd?”

It’s, wasn’t, etc…

I suppose you could bitch about it being “Coravined,” but that would make a reader think it was pronounced differently. Can you think of other words ending in a consonant that don’t acquire “…ed” and only use “d?” Further, we could argue it should be “Coravinned” just for fun!

Pobega is different, as you could argue that you can simply add a “d” and all is well but it is typicaly not the case. The “e” is usually added…
baaed
cupolaed
hennaed
pajamaed
polkaed
sambaed
subpoenaed
togaed
umbrellaed
verandaed
visaed
vistaed

The ’ is appropriate, really.

I think you should get a checkup, Anton. I’m afraid you’re showing early signs of pedantry, like so many of us.

The fiction here is that to Coravin or to Pobega are verbs. There is no correct past tense of a verb which uses an apostrophe. Not one.

Which doesn’t stop people from doing it — the incorrect overuse of apostrophes is staggering these days. I wonder if half the adults these days have any idea what they are for.

Spell checker’s are mostly to blame I think.

Now there’re neologism haters?

Hmmmm, I didn’t think I could find a past tense verbs that use an apostrophe.

At first, I couldn’t think of any, but it wouldn’t have been any fun not to try.

I wasn’t going to give up, though. Just as I thought there weren’t any, I realized there were, in fact, contracted past tense verbs, so to speak.

In retrospect, I should’ve included a joke disclaimer in my post up above. That would have more clearly demonstrated that I was just Morissing the topic and I might not have gotten Sieber’d.

champagne.gif

1,000 different ways to say “toast.”

Tipping tips for oenophiles, from BYOB to ordering lumber from the wine list.

My favorite from the OP: “Is Every New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc Under $25 the Same Wine With a Different Label?”

Yes, 1000x over. So not funny.

Yeah, I don’t find them funny. Though I agree with Chris about the New Zealand SB. I liked that one. Of course Chris has the Haddock avatar, so he gets bonus points for any post!

The one about Pinotage is awful. Any attempt to make a “joke” by juxtaposing something with apartheid is pretty much not at all funny.