I will be the first to admit that I have never tried a wine from Herman Story. Nonetheless, I am on the mailing list.
Perhaps I once read a TN here on the boards. I don’t know. Maybe I honestly thought I could afford to buy a bunch of $50/btl Rhône-style blends that look like they’re going to kick your teeth in!
Regardless, any winery that references “Rocksteady” and “Bebop” from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has my respect.
Herman Story Wines:
TOMBOY
VINTAGE: 2016
VARIETALS: 100% Viognier
APPELLATION: Santa Barbara County
OAK: 100% New French Oak
ALC: 15.3%
TASTING NOTES: I know this girl who spends summer and fall in cellars and vineyards, and all winter working on a salmon boat in Alaska. She can curse and fight with the best, is tall enough to play pro ball, looks like Gisele, can switch out the transmission in a ‘69 F-150 and is the daughter of an Ambassador. This is the perfume I imagine her wearing to a State Dinner: Eucalyptus honey, lily of the valley, dewy sawgrass, lemon verbena, yellow Chartreuse, Seville orange zest, thieves oil, freshly soaked whetstone and diamond encrusted brass knuckles.
DRINK NOW: Pop & Pour CELLAR: 5 Years
NUTS & BOLTS
VINTAGE: 2016
VARIETALS: 100% Syrah
APPELLATION: California
OAK: 80% New French Oak
ALC: 15.8%
TASTING NOTES: At last, the guitar is yours. Its velvet lined case contains the spirits of 1000 shows: fine Cuban Anejo rum, Connecticut wrapped Gurkha Beauties, motor oil, and chicory coffee. In your hands the guitar unleashes a series of riffs that rip like a ¼ mile drag race on cherry tarmac. This thing destroys, like a dragon breathing fire on a California hillside. Outside the garage, a crowd has gathered, they build a funeral pyre and offer up baskets of Australian red licorice as you strike one more chord and melt the iron shackles holding the maidens.
DRINK NOW: Decant for 30 minutes CELLAR: 7 Years
MILK & HONEY
VINTAGE: 2016
VARIETALS: 32% Tempranillo, 26% Cabernet Sauvignon, 23% Petit Verdot, 19% Syrah
APPELLATION: Paso Robles
OAK: 65% New French Oak
ALC: 15.8%
TASTING NOTES: If a cigar smoking saber tooth tiger crashed it’s Peterbilt into a chocolate factory while making a Valentine’s delivery of fresh cut flowers, this is what the eyewitness news crews would be reporting: exploded bank vault, smoked paprika, blueberry pomegranate donut, fresh Nat Sherman MCD Blacks, rain, chocolate hand grenade, rose flower water, elderberry syrup, dried violets, cinnamon toast, cherries & berries. With the lingering thought that you may not know where your children are.
DRINK NOW: Decant for 1 hour CELLAR: 7-8 Years
BIEN NACIDO VINEYARD
VINTAGE: 2015
VARIETALS: 100% Grenache
APPELLATION: Santa Maria Valley
OAK: 70% New French Oak
ALC: 15.7%
TASTING NOTES: This is the wine that Wes Anderson was drinking when he made The Darjeeling Limited. As big as India itself, rolling on train tracks through miles of Jasmine and Hyacinth, often in the dark of night, with wild children going from cabin to cabin selling armfuls of fresh berries for a pittance. In the dining car they’re serving Tomahawk Ribeye Tandoori served paired with spiced drinking chocolate. Within the dark richness, the destination is practically rendered insignificant by the journey itself.
DRINK NOW: Decant for 1 hour CELLAR: 6-8 Years
BIEN NACIDO VINEYARD
VINTAGE: 2015
VARIETALS: 100% Syrah
APPELLATION: Santa Maria Valley
OAK: 100% New French Oak
ALC: 15.8%
TASTING NOTES: Like watching Gronkowski dance a Merengue at a white tie affair, all that power put to a very delicate purpose. It’s hard to pull your eyes from the spectacle, but this Szechuan crusted filet mignon and ginseng infused pastis are giving it a run for its money. Dessert is Swedish buckwheat pancakes topped with fresh strawberries and clove dust. As the music reaches its crescendo the demolition team brings down the courthouse across the street and everyone is on their feet.
DRINK NOW: Decant for 45 minutes CELLAR: Until you can’t take it anymore
AFTER HOURS
VINTAGE: 2017
VARIETALS: Rosé of Grenache
APPELLATION: California
ALC: 15.6%
TASTING NOTES: You come-to in the backseat of a Land Cruiser that has what must be a $20,000 steering wheel. The two guys get back from the gas station, “Hey, hey, look who’s up!” the passenger says as he hands you a bag containing red Minute Maid ice pops, some raspberry sorbet, red velvet macarons, a pack of clove cigarettes and Swedish Fish. Wait a second… You recognize him, it’s Snoop Dogg. “I’m Calvin” he says, “you’re lucky we found you! Here” he hands you a cherry blunt as he inexplicably plays Roger Miller on a stereo branded with his name.
DRINK NOW: Apply liberally directly to mouth CELLAR: YOU DRINK THIS NOW.
SMASH CITY
VINTAGE: 2016
VARIETALS: 100% Pinot Noir
APPELLATION: Santa Maria Valley
OAK: 70% New French Oak
ALC: 15.9%
TASTING NOTES: Bebop and Rocksteady walk into a bar. You think this is some kind of joke?! It is not. They are here to crush you. They shoot first and so fast you can taste the gun metal and smoke. The heat chars the oak walls and bubbles the black and blue berries in the kitchen. A suplex drives a mushroom cloud worth of head swelling kirsch. Before the finishing blow, they pick you up; “haha! You should’ve seen your face!” as you’re passed a strawberry daiquiri and a quarter stick of dynamite.
DRINK NOW: Splash decant into thermos CELLAR: Why? It’ll last, but what’s the point
Copyright © 2018 Herman Story Wines, All rights reserved.
Our address is:
Herman Story Wines
1227 Paso Robles Street
Paso Robles, CA 93446