TN: Pissing crap! It is a lovely Zind-Hunbrecht!

Now, let us make one thing abundantly clear, I have loathed Zind-Humbrecht wines with furious intensity since about 2005. At my own urging I purchased piles of 1989, 1990 then 1995 – largely Riesling but I had a little flirt with Pinot Gris as well. Then, at the urging of spit Robert Parker, I threw money at anyone who would sell me some 2000 or 2001 Riesling Grand Crus.

Now I aged all these bleeders in the best locations I had access to. I would whip one out to wow my chums when they were between 7 and 12 years old. Every Pinot Gris was utterly shagged out with all its charms long since decayed.

Riesling has better longevity than Pinot Gris’s couple of months. I would guess that about 6 out on the 7 bottles I opened had totally fallen apart. They had no acidity, no fruit, just a bastard load of oxidation, shit loads of alcohol and often a whiff of a filthy wine making/ageing facility.

It is true that the one out of seven was really quite good, but by the point of me calculating this lamentable score sheet, I had learn to detest and generally hate Zind-Humbrecht wines.

Then, a few weeks back I saw that the Wine Soc had bottles of the 2013 Grand Cru Goldert Muscat on their list. Now I knew that Zind-Humbrecht had paid over the odds for the plot of Grand Cru Goldert in order to make the best Gewurztraminer and Muscat in Alsace, and so therefore, one presumes, in the world.

I have tried many Goldert Gewurztraminers, including a notably emetic bottle that clocked in at 16.5% - hell’s bells! However, I had never managed to score a bottle of Grand Cru Goldert Muscat – until this Wine Soc offer passed through my usually disinterested hands. Well, I had to, do not you think? It may have been a grotesque, hideous monstrousity of Muscat; but I can manage the tiniest bits of self-flagellation (before I throw the sommerier’s recommendation of Muscadet at the back of the his head). How bad could it be?

Muscat Grand Cru Goldert 2013, Domaine Zind-Humbrecht

Bugger me backwards! This does not smell like any other Zind-Humbrecht wine I have had previously! It is not anaesthetically alcohol, it is not thick or dense and it is squeaky clean. This is a revelatory experience for me!

Rather than all those things that Zind-Hunbrecht normally smell of, this has a winsome nose of delicate beauty. It invites you to revel in its paddling pool full of flower petals and a few lemon balm leaves in it.

What is not in that paddling pool is a shit-load of nose burning alcohol. It claims 12.5% on the label and, by god, I think that is really what this Zind-Humbrecht wine is. I have had Z-H Riesling at over 15% and Gewurtztraminer at 16.5%. They were vile. This is scrummylicous!

The nose is delicately floral, with a hint on the lemon balm leaves I mentioned. I seem to remember smelling them in the last Grand Cru Goldert Muscat I had from Ernest Burn – the great exponent of Goldert wines. So it could be vineyard character or it could be my whimsical imagination.

‘Pretty’ would be damning this wine with faint praise. It is certainly attractive, like the good looking girl that Richard Dawkins used to include in the selection of a new year’s students. But also, like the yearly pretty New College student, it is sophisticated in its charms – the more you examine, the more you find.

The floral and leafy character grow in the glass as it warms up. Fortunately, unlike so many Italian Moscatos, there is not the slightest hint of detergent aromas.

It tastes pulchritudenous, sculpted, and incredibly drinkable. There is nothing heavy or overblown here – it lithely stimulates every tastebud in your mouth, caressing them to a very charmed state of loveliness.

Flowers fill your cakehole, but it also has another aspect I do not expect from Z-H, it has an exciting level of acidity. Muscat is not known for acidity, but this is vivacious and perfectly harmonious

The palate awakes memories of Ernest Burn Goldert Muscat, but this is incomparably more svelte, sophisticated and stylish. It really is a stunner – I would happily buy it again.

So I have had a Zind-Humbrecht that I like, and is stunningly good. I cannot think of a better dry, non-sparkling Muscat. It is also good with delicate food. So have Zind-Humbrecht managed to make the best dry Muscat in the world with their purchase of a Grand Cru Goldert plot? I admit I am more than a little stunned saying this, but in 2013 they manifestly stand at the zenith of dry Muscat wines.

Anon,
Davy.
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The ZH Goldert is certainly at the top of dry Muscat, and it even ages for quite a number of years, but have you tried Dr. Hegers 3 Star Muskateller out of the Kaiserstuhl? That is from the oldest Muscat-vines in Germany and pretty darned spectacular in the world of dry Muscat imho

Sorry, Hans, never heard of the fellow or his booze. I might be saying this because I am incredibly unhappy, but I don’t really think of dry Muscat I’ll go out of my way to procure. The Z-H was perfectly nice, but I could have got a bottle of JJ Prum Auslese for the same as this Z-H cost me. I don’t regret buying this one bottle, but if I ever get any money again I know which is the gratuitously fine and worthy of dropping the sponds on.

With the exception of Moscato d’Asti, my normal view of Muscat is, “No, I just cannot be arsed.”

That was lots of fun David! Thanks for posting it, and good to see you.

I’ve enjoyed the ZH Goldert Muscat (especially the VT), but don’t go searching for it, especially at the US retail prices. What I really miss is the Muller-Catoir Muskateller from when it was made by Hans-Gunter Schwarz.

It’s nice not to be biased. You might be surprised some times.

Markus, I assure you that my never ending path to wine enlightenment is as rich and diverse as the English wine trade allows. I’ve even ordered wine from Switzerland, at great expense, just because I needed to try something that I had no previous experience of. But when it comes to wine for general drinking, on my limited budget, German Riesling is a really good deal.

I’m no prude, and I suspect that social mores with respect to alcohol are different on the other side of the pond, but serving wine of any sort to your chums aged 7 to 12 is beyond the pale.

Lovely note, David. Thanks for posting

Yeah, I guess I feel the same way as you do, but I really enjoy a good quality dry muscat from time to time. Also from Austria. And preferrably they are cheaper than the ZH and Heger, that I mentioned.

And being reminded of this being made as a VT, I think it was in fact a VT I tried, that had aged remarkably well - not the regular one. It was a 1995 I tried around 2005.

Dirler Cade also makes terrific GC Muscat from the Saering and Spiegel. Not at all expensive (like everythibg they make, an outrageous over achiever), $23-25.
I have heard that tides have changed big time at Zind stylistically. Balanced dry wines do exist there now, if one can believe it after such Baroque oddities in the past…

I tasted the new Zind-Humbrecht lineup at Millesimes Alsace tasting a month or so back - after not having any of their wine in ~ 10 years or so - and can report that at least their current lineup is MUCH more about balance and a sense of place. They were not the over-the-top wines I remember from the 1990’s, and ones that I would be perfectly fine buying. The folks at the table talked about the stylistic change they’ve undergone since the late 2000’s, so I don’t think the current lineup is an outlier

Davy, if you ever write your autobiography, I hope you’ll consider titling it “Pissing Crap!”

Always a delight to read your wine prose, David. On a side note, have you had a chance to taste that English sparkling yet?

Nice,

I got the two bottles and they were corked. I gave them a call and they sent me another two bottles. They were corked as well. I rang up the winery and they said they’d someone to collect them for analysis. They called me the next day and argued against me that they were not corked in the slightest and so they would not refund me. I am afraid I am.too broke to have got a taxi to and from them to demand my cash back and… ermmm… I’m a hint (we have understatement in England, which is OK) on the depressed side so trying to find other routes to get my money back were really beyond me.

I’m really sorry, everyone who paid some cash in the hope of fruity tasting notes. I guess we loonies are just unworthy of generosity and good things.

Sorry,
Davy.

Corey,

I’d actually though about calling my autobiography (if the lawyer who proof read it for lible didn’t scream “Burn the manuscript!” as he died of a heart attack) "Shitting f*ck.

Now there is reason beyond the sheer rudeness. You see, when the partner first moved into England into the flat under mine, I once invited him up for a bottle of 1995 GK Auslese from JJ Prum. As I sniffed my glass to make sure it was not corked a was so moved by the aroma, all I could say was "Shitting fck!". The partner sniffed his glass and said, "Yeah, Shitting fck!”

He has developed this into a theory, which goes: You cannot call yourself a real wine lover unless you have several bottles of wine that are so good you immediately think “Shitting f*ck!”

I have a lot of bottles that make me think ‘shitting f*ck’ and I’ve had countless ones in the past. It may be rude, but Dani’s theory is at least reasonably funny enough to mention in a book that would be slightly incredibly dominated by wine.

Anon,
Davy.

I’ve blown through quite a few Zinds in the past few years, and have had more hits than misses…though too many bloody misses for the scores these wines were getting. In years like 1997 and 2000, only the VT’s seem to have held up for me.

I’ve had better luck with the '05’s (including an excellent Muscat Goldert that had aged very nicely). And I do wish I had bought more '04’s, a nice bright little vintage.

I guess most winemakers try to capture vintage character to some extent, but Z-H seemed to take it to an extreme in those days. It’s just one indicator, I know, but I don’t recall ever seeing that much variation in ABV from year to year. In hotter years, they just seemed to go for extreme high octane monsters. I don’t think they’re doing that anymore…are they?

Anyway David, I always enjoy your splendiferous prose, cheers to you mate.

Thank you, Boris, for your kind words. I wouldn’t really consider my prose as 'spendiferous, it’s really a bunch of swearing and some anecdotes that could well get me sued if anyone I am rude about ever reads my organ.

Cheers!