Restaurant Pet Peeves

The “When have you been at your most wine snobbish” post deserves a counter, because some restaurant actions deserve a geeky response. My peeves include:

1. Manhandling a bottle I’ve sat upright for days or weeks, creating a sediment snow globe.
   My geeky response: “Please try not to shake up the sediment.”

2. Taking the wine to the back of the restaurant (out of our sight) to open and pour or decant.

3. Crappy, heavy wine glasses with thick rims in a restaurant that serves fine wine

4. Carelessly (or simply inexpertly) mauling a cork.
   My geeky response, while my wife silently but unsuccessfully implores me not to say anything: “Do you mind if I have a go at that”

5. Not having a decanter in a nice restaurant, or worse yet:

6. Using a decanter, then roughly pouring the entire bottle, sludge and all, into said decanter.
   My geeky response: An annoyed look at my wife while she signals me not to say anything.

7. Ridiculous corkage or cancellation fees. I will never again go to a Thomas Keller restaurant since I was told:
   #1. The corkage is $150, and
   #2. If one of my party of eight can’t make it (we were traveling and the arrival time was close for my brother) I will be charged (some ridiculous fee, I think $250) for the absent guest. $!%*# you very much!
   My response: “Cancel my entire reservation please, I’ll go elsewhere (forever).”

I’m sure there are more; please help me out here.

Cheers,
Warren

Call ahead - but I’ve decanted at home and then rebottled with a t-cork when I bring a bottle to a restaurant.

That may be just a Napa thing… I know SF is rather stodgy when it comes to corkage in comparison.

Waitstaff grabbing the bottle off the table and filling up glasses to the rim in order to get another bottle order - I can’t count how many times I have grabbed bottles out of the waitstaff’s hands.

If it’s an older bottle of red that I have brought - I usually threaten death if they even touch the damn thing.

Some of these complaints are legit, but some can easily be answered by noting that if you have a bottle that requires very gentle serving, drink it at home. Don’ expect everyone else to live up to your standards. Restaurant employees work hard and are under lots of time pressure. You are not royalty.
Phil Jones

With all that to bother you, why eat out?

Cheers,
Curt

Dear Warren,

Will you marry me?

Kindest regards,
Merrill

This is the BEST thread of the year so far. In just 5 replies the OP has been called out as acting entitled, agreed with, and proposed to.

AND

Eh… this is why i usually just propose to do the work. not because they cant. or can. but because it is my geekness that needs to be satisfied.

except in a few places i KNOW will do a better job than i would. and will be as geeky as i would have been.

but as far as the thread - why not blow off some steam on the boards with other geeks?

What Mikhail said.

I agree with much of what Warren said, but you can head off some of those issues. I figure if I’m bringing wine I don’t want to put the staff out too much so I just make it clear that we’ll pour for ourselves.

As far as corkage goes - they can charge what they want. People can charge whatever price they want for anything. And like Warren, I don’t need to go to places that clearly don’t want me.

But I don’t blame them though - I probably wouldn’t want me in my restaurant either.

I don’t know…if you go to a nice restaurant a lot of the premium pricing is meant to accommodate stellar services in my opinion.

We eat out a lot and so many places do a really outstanding job but when we encounter poor service, it really really bothers me. That’s WHY we pay $30 for a meal that costs $10 or $15 to make. That margin is built in to account for the prep and the service.

Depending on the type of places the OP is going to, I think most of the comments are warranted.

Taking the bottle, even if empty, away before the meal is done. I know others don’t mind, but I bring a decent bottle that has been in a dark box for years and I like to see it. I just ask to leave it please.

My biggest peeve is having wine not served when the food is served. Either no wine with food - in which csse I refuse to start or you having drunk most of a bottle with no food which leaves me angry before I start.

I’m with Brandon here. If I’m paying $50+ for corkage, or conceivably hundreds or even thousands of dollars for a bottle of old wine (not that I ever spend thousands, but if they have those options on their list), I expect the person handling the bottle to know exactly what they’re doing. It seems crazy to not be able to drink great wine with great food in that atmosphere because I shouldn’t expect the staff to know how to serve it. Everyone I know personally who works at that type of restaurant understands thoroughly the care that should be taken with precious bottles.

And this

but as far as the thread - why not blow off some steam on the boards with other geeks?

What is the definition of premium pricing? I’ll agree that $50 corkage in NYC should get you good service and wine glasses.

I’m with the OP on the taking the bottle away to decant, I try and fight the urge and be respectful and present with my companions but I find my self craning my neck to see where my wine went.
Another is when I am slowly consuming a glass and the waiter comes over and tops up my glass.
And the most frustrating experience was at very nice restaurant where I brought a bottle and they poured me a taste and I nodded in approval and the waiter poured out large pours for the rest of the table and there was nothing left by the time he got back to me.

My new approach is to place the bottle in a difficult position for the staff to get to and don’t let them touch it once they’ve opened it. Sure the staff works hard… but so do I.

(this could also double as my post for the topic “When are you your most wine snobbish”)

Is there a corkage fee scale? I think there should be!

$0 - $9 buys you the bus/dish boy handling you bottle.
$10 - $15 affords a wait staff member who probably won’t spill or break anything.
$16 - $25 gets you the “experienced” waiter.
$26 - $35 brings out the sommolier.
$35 - $49 buys the sommolier PLUS decent stemware.
$50+ and you deserve the white glove treatment.

Good thing most places we go to allow opened/decanted bottles and don’t charge rapage… er, corkage fees.

I try and not get bothered by things that happen at restaurants. Sometimes I get less than I would like or expect, sometimes I get more, but such is life when I am not in control.

I do get irked when I get an argument after politely asking for something innocuous.

I’ve had a version of this happen:

“Please leave the bottle on the table for now. I’ll put it back in the ice bucket later”

“this is a white wine”

“Umm mmm”

“But, sir, white wine should be kept cold”

“Thank you, but I’d prefer that the bottle stay out on the table for now.”

“Why don’t you let me…”

for f*ck’s sake, just leave it on the table like I asked.

$100+ gets you a happy ending.

This happened to me at Le Bernardin once and is one of the reasons I haven’t been back since. Though to be fair the regular sommelier was on vacation.

We drink tastelessly ice cold wine with our dinner that night.

While at a respectable-enough but not top-end restaurant in Seattle a few years back, I ordered a decent $50ish bottle from the list. The server came back and said, “I’m so sorry, we don’t seem to have that in stock.” I ordered a second, different wine. A few minutes later, the same server with the same embarrassed expression and, “I’m really sorry, Sir, but we appear to be out of that as well.” I got it on the third try, but I was pretty miffed. KEEP YOUR WINE LIST UP TO DATE!