Pretty excellent sarcasm.
Looks like the Somms are taking a few hits. HMW at his very best.
Along a similar line, Kyle (a.k.a. Harry Oldman) takes a few shots at a variety of targets, not just Somms:
Tom
That was mercilessly boring. I would rather listen to a sommelier recite the classified growths of the Medoc.
I often get a kick out of the Hosemaster’s posts. Not this one. Tasteless and dull.
However, your thread title, Jim, holds promise. I’m hearing a parody of the Wings song brewing in the back of my mind.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Somms On the Run
Stuck without a corkscrew
Wine inside forever
Never drinking nothing
Nice again like Cru
Premier Cru, Premier Cru
If I ever get out of here,
Thought of putting it up for sale
With a registered auctioneer.
All I need is a bidding war
If I ever get outta here
If we ever get outta of here
Well, the Feds broke in with a mighty crash
And found the counterfeits
And the first one said to the second one there
We’re gonna give Rudy fits
Somms on the run, somms on the run
And the jailer man and sailor Sam
Were searching every one
For the somms on the run
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
Well, the judge he drew a heavy sigh
Seeing Maureen’s time had come
And a bell was ringing in the village square
For the Somms on the run
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
And the jailer man and sailor Sam
Were searching every one
For the somms on the run
Somms on the run
Yeah the somms on the run
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
Well, the night was falling and Don Cornwell’s world
Began to settle down.
In the town they’re searching for us everywhere
But we never will be found
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
And the county judge who held a grudge
Will search for evermore
For the somms on the run
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
Somms on the run
Definitely a touch pedantic and the length became a bit much (I was actually reading about half of each paragraph) but thought folks here would rather know than not.
Reminded more of a song by Sweet!
I love it.
His line: They took class after class to learn facts about ______ , as though facts were knowledge, as if knowledge were wisdom. is so perfect, for so many matters.
Loved that part. True in so many areas and pets of life.
Parody yes, but it had a point. Sommeliers used to serve a purpose. There are still some great ones, mostly in Europe (that I know of and have worked with), and mostly attached to spectacular wine collections, that are of value to me. But being a sommelier today is no longer about service. It’s about bragging rights and taking an attitude and pushing your wine tastes on other people and snob appeal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone into a restaurant where the “sommelier”, who is usually in charge of the wine program, has filled the by-the-glass section with $4 wholesale indifferent blends for $15 a glass, and the wine list with no-name cabernets at $100, and the ubiquitous bottle or two of DRC, only to stand around and tell me about how he or she got to do a Richebourg horizontal and drink vintage Krug all weekend for free at the $$$ Bourgeois Location Wine and Food Festival just for pouring a few bottles into a decanter. And I still have to pour my own wine after they do the first round.
Frankly, I would take the wine advice of just about anyone on this board over some “so called sommeliers”. The “schools” have churned out too many casual and hobbyist sommeliers and diluted the pools of what was once a small but elite group of distinguished servers.
It would be so much more appropriate if the Hosemaster changed his name to Curmudgeonmaster.
But Hosemaster has such a ring to it~
Rather, not.
There are still great somms in the US. Off the top of my head I’d gladly accept any recommendation from Pascaline Lepeltier, Patrick Capiello, Levi Dalton (if he was still in the somm biz), Mark Ellenbogen, etc. I’m sure there must be many more I don’t know about. But I’ve been surprised by the recent explosion of somms and will admit to chuckling over this installment of Hosemaster.
“Thousands of sommeliers humanely eradicated. Admit it, now that it’s over, it felt good.”
Very harsh…
Has no one read “A Modest Proposal”? Gosh folks…
But thanks for the US recommendations…I will indeed search them out. I’m not rich, but I choose to spend my mad money and vacations seeking out great wines and restaurants. I don’t know if the list contains him, but the somm at Eleven Madison Park is a class act. Great growing collection, super food (if a bit kitsch at times lately) but educational and willing to dive into the intricacies of burgundy villages and premier vs. grand cru. The last time I was there we got into a discussion about premier cru blends and would it be better to just bottle small amounts of vineyard designates rather than put them all into a “premier cru” bucket. A wonderful and entertaining evening. I’ll seek out these others…
[quote=“Fred Daniels”]Has no one read “A Modest Proposal”? Gosh folks…
So, somms failed to serve mankind, and as a result, they were served to mankind?
P Hickner
The education and methodology of the somm education is rather appalling and has become a breeding ground for peddling ‘unique’ wines and varieties that will undoubtedly never catch on in any meaningful way. Somm culture for most new Somms has become a way of rebelling against the classic regions in a search to be different and individualistic on a limited budget. I, for one, don’t care about these alternatives when I could instead pay more for the few more marginal points (albeit for diminishing marginal return). It’s sad to see new Somms degrading the reputation of the really talented ones who are nothing short of awe-inspiring at their craft.
It’s also unfortunate that the new Somms won’t be able to afford to give themselves a good education as almost all of the truly great wines are unaffordable on all but an MS’ salary. But if they’re going to be giving advise professionally, I have little patience for their disadvantage, as cold hearted as that sounds… I care more for the consumer wasting their money on crap advice, so I definitely have to applaud HMW for this.
Somm culture for most new Somms has become a way of rebelling against the classic regions in a search to be different and individualistic on a limited budget.
Exactly right. This too:
It’s about bragging rights and taking an attitude and pushing your wine tastes on other people
It’s not only somms though - it’s a lot of people in the wine business. Someone has been “into” wine for three years and decides to subscribe to a particular agenda and that’s it. It becomes tribal, just like political parties. “If I like this wine I can’t like that one,” and so on. It’s what bugged Parker and made him coin the great AFWE acronym.
It’s too bad. But it’s also unfair to paint everyone with the same brush. As Jay pointed out, there are lots of somms who are really knowledgeable and great sources of information. I think a lot of the problem comes from the fact that people think they can take a course or get a diploma and that will mean something. When I started drinking wine, I knew almost nobody with any kind of certification. And some people knew a hell of a lot. These days, it seems like everyone working around wine is enrolled in or has completed some kind of course. There’s nothing wrong with study, formal or otherwise. But it’s not the same as trying thousands of wines over the years and developing some kind of understanding of what’s going on.