The Giving and Taking of Travel Advice

Many of us here who travel a lot, and who enjoy sharing their experiences on social media, field regular requests for recommendations or advice. “Where should I eat? Where should I stay? How do I get around?” We get a lot of these – a LOT – including requests from friends of friends, and people we’ve never met, and we try to answer all of them in detail, including links and directions where possible, since many of the places we love are hard to find. Though we are happy to share our knowledge and experience, it can frankly take quite a bit of time and effort. We usually receive an enthusiastic “THANKS!” upon providing the information. And then we almost never hear another word. This puzzles and disappoints me.

Several times, I have reached out afterwards and asked “So, how did your trip go? Did you try any of the places we recommended?” Sometimes the answer is “no, we didn’t have time to try any on your list” and sometimes the answer is “yes, we went to XXX and it was great!” I suppose I understand the first instance better, but the second really confuses me. If someone goes to the trouble of recommending a place, particularly if I have requested the recommendation, and I try it, I will always try and let them know my thoughts afterwards. (In truth, if someone goes to the trouble, I always try to follow at least one recommendation, if at all possible. But that’s something important to me and I don’t expect others to feel as strongly about it as I do.) Have others encountered this behavior?

I suppose it’s just laziness. People get busy and they don’t think of it. And I don’t write up lengthy descriptions and lists of suggested destinations in expectation of some kind of glowing response afterwards - I do it because I like to share and help and I’m excited about the places I recommend. But I really do care and want to know what the other person thought. I think it’s good manners and a nice thank you to take the time to follow up, after someone has taken the time to recommend. I urge everyone who solicits advice to remember the one(s) who gave it to you and let them know how it went. And for those of you who do already – thank you!!

I appreciate the thank you, but don’t expect to hear it. It goes with the territory, but if asked a second time…

It’s not even so much a “thank you” - it’s impressions and how it went. I know if I try a place someone recommended, and I really like it, I can’t wait to send them a note saying what we thought, because I’m so excited! It confuses me that people aren’t excited to tell about it to the person who also loves it enough to have sent me there. I’m not confused by the bad manners.

I agree – especially because it’s a fair bit of pressure. If I convince someone to travel hundreds of miles out of their way to go to Troisgros, I sure hope they enjoy it!

I just looked to see and did give feedback on our spain trip. phew.
Please consider it to be the highest form of complement to be consulted on food, wine and travel.

You certainly did, Suzanne! We were also getting a constant feed through Instagram while you were in Spain, so feedback was almost redundant.

I think this is a very good point and personally, I notice it more among “newbies.” Often a person enters this or a a similar site and solicits help and then he /she is never heard from again. I personally always try to respond to people when they offer advice and find it is very helpful, especially if and when I want help with another destination.

Cheers!
Marshall

I don’t think I have ever received feedback on a recommendation but I learned long ago not to give with the expectation of receiving. You will only be disappointed.

I do get it on a board thread - it would be a lot to respond to every recommendation - but if someone directly asks, and you take sometimes hours putting together a list and write-up, then I think a report back afterwards is the classy thing to do. I started this thread more to encourage such behavior than to mourn over its lack up to this point.

My wife and I give a lot of travel/restaurant advice to friends. (although, our experience doesn’t come close to a lot on this board, especially Sarah’s!) Most give feedback, albeit brief which is fine by me. We give advice commiserate with interest in our recommendations and I always tell people that our choices and experiences were specific to us. If someone doesn’t have similar tastes and desires, I suggest they don’t take our advice because they will be disappointed unless they are looking for a different experience from their norm.

If I take someone else’s advice, I typically will snap a phone pic while we are there and send it to the advisor. I don’t do it out of obligation, but rather for sharing fun.

Sarah, you must be exceptionally kind to get into highly detailed advice to extended friends of friends. I typically start broad and if they act really interested, I’ll offer more.

I don’t usually recap a trip after getting advice, but I’ll jump in and help the next prospective traveler.

I don’t think much of it

I have no expectations of a thankyou, or a trip report / post-trip feedback. Though it is a nice thing if someone does it, I wouldn’t think badly of them if they didn’t.

The only one that irritates me is if someone asks for some advice, I spend time on writing a detailed response, and they never make another appearance on that forum, meaning I probably wasted my time because they didn’t come back to read it.

Conversely, those that keep coming back with follow on questions are an absolute joy, as it’s clear they appreciate the advice and will make decent use of it.

This has been my approach, also.

Let me say right now, I want to thank everyone who posts about their trips on this board. I get a lot of useful information when I travel. Three people whose posts I have especially found helpful are those of Mr. Abood, Mr. Gelb and Mr. Holmes.

Thanks Howard. I appreciate your comment and your advice as well as the advice of others.

Cheers!
Marshall

He might have meant me, but I truly doubt it!

Andrew

To be honest, I think I was talking about both of you, but was not sure. Thus, I left out first names. I apologize and should have specifically listed you both.

Howard, no worries! No need to apologize. Just brother teasing brother.

Cheers,
Andrew

I have felt the same way. I give lots of local recommendations too as folks are always visiting Portland. I’ll recommend a place, then when I follow up, they decided to go to a place near the hotel that I wouldn’t send an enemy to. It’s frustrating as I would have recommended something close to the hotel if that was so important they’d waste a meal on the criteria.