We just returned from a 10 jaunt through Galicia and then San Sebastian and, along with wonderful memories of delicious food and wine, we returned replete with memories of all the interesting a delightful people we met along the way. A Japanese couple at Elkano with whom we shared a cab back to San Sebastian after Jonathan shocked them with his language skills when he heard them talking about how much food we had ordered. A group of 8 food and travel buffs from Portland whom we met first at Etxebarri and then found again in San Sebastian. A German couple as obsessed with food as we are whom we started talking with at Ganbara. A fellow from Austin and his husband who stumbled into Ganbara at the same time we were chatting with the Germans. A Belgian guy and his Chinese wife we sat near at a wine bar in Santander. Another German couple we helped interpret the menu (as veterans of one meal!) at a market counter in Santiago. All these people were fun, interesting, smart and had many stories to share. We will likely look up all of them in the future, should we find ourselves in their territories.
Most of the time, Jonathan and I were the ones to break the ice. We have no problem eavesdropping a bit and then striking up a conversation. At Etxebarri, we crossed the entire room to the Portland folks when we saw they were having the G&Ts we wanted, but had to turn down since I had to drive. In every case, they were receptive and warm and as interested in talking as we were. I have almost always found this to be the case (except a weird visit to Florence a few years ago) and have never regretted making the connection.
Too often these days, people shut out the world happening around them. They bury their faces in cellphones or hunch into themselves to discourage any discourse with strangers, or wear headphones all the time. I think that one of the great pleasures of travel is meeting people along the way, people you might never have met otherwise, and enriching your experience of a place through others experiencing it at the same time. I urge everyone who travels to follow this advice: talk to strangers!
Last year when we were in Bordeaux, we were visiting Chateau Haut Brion. We were on a tour with three other Americans. As we starting talking, we found out they were from my home town (had moved there after I had left), belonged to the same synagogue that my parents belonged to when they were alive, had very nice memories of my parents, knew cousins of mine and people I had grown up with.
In Burgundy, several years ago, we went into Ma Cuisine with an importer we were taking to dinner because he was taking us around for a day. He ran into a table of several men from the DC area. About two to three months later, we ran into two of those men (a father and son) at a friend’s house in DC.
Same trip, we were waiting to visit Buisson-Charles and Patrick Essa. In the courtyard was another person waiting to visit also. We introduced ourselves. It was board member Herwig Janssen.
At the Paulee Verticals a few years ago I saw someone who I thought I recognized from pictures. Turned out to be board member Jay Miller. After the tasting Jay invited Randy McFarlane and me to the place (nearby) where he stores his wines where I met Roger Nellans and Jon Favre and had a wonderful time.
So, I totally agree with Sarah. It is amazing what happens when you engage people.
We have met a ton of great people while traveling…especially if you are on a cruise. I have always felt that whenever you travel that you get treated as you treat others. Maybe a bit simplistic but if you stay sheltered and guarded then you are missing out on a good portion of the adventure. Our positive experiences have outweighed the negative at least 10 -1.
Totally agree with Sarah…
Cheers!
Marshall
Tonight, we were sitting at a wine bar in Fukuoka in Kyushu, Japan. Not many tourists of any sort in this area, let alone westerners. We’ve been in Asia now for a week and a half and found ourselves missing red wine, which hasn’t been appropriate in our travels so far, so we stopped into this Basque place for a bottle and some snacks. A lone diner at the end of the bar seemed interested in our conversation with the bartender, so I suggested to my husband, who speaks Japanese, that he ask our fellow diner if he’d like to share a glass from our bottle. The gentleman demurred, saying that he didn’t really like wine. When we asked what he did like to drink, he said “whisky.” Well! This is great news. We pressed on - what kind of whisky? Not only did he say scotch, but he added that he loves Islay malt. A ten minute conversation later, we’d made a plan to meet again in an hour to go to the premier private whisky bar in Fukuoka, where he is a member. We would never in a million years have gotten to that spot on our own, and it was a terrific experience. Not only that, we now have a new friend to contact when we return.
Thanks for sharing this Sarah. I am the worst at engaging strangers. It is very much out of my comfort zone. Next summer, our family of four is off to Peru. I’ll let let you know how my newfound commitment to making an effort to engage strangers goes.
If in tourist locations, it’s a fairly natural thing to talk to someone who speaks your own language, so I’d be surprised if I didn’t end up in a conversation.
With locals it can be harder, not least because they often have the usual humdrum chores that we all have at home, but away from the tourist trail we’ve had enough that show an interest. Having enough Italian to stumble through a conversation helps, well in Italy it does.
I hope you do, Todd. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s one of the most meaningful aspects of our travels. Just last night, we were dining in truly horrible weather at a wonderful french restaurant in a tiny village in Hokkaido. They had had a lot of cancellations, and so there was only one other couple there. We sent some wine over to them (we brought a couple of bottles with us) and they came over after they finished their meal to say thank you. We chatted, and ended up with a recommendation for where to find the bakery that makes the amazing bread at this restaurant. We would never have found it otherwise. Wine is a great way to get a conversation started.
So you don’t have any friends or colleagues whose company and conversation you seek out at home?
It’s not about needing other stimuli, more varied conversation, or about the sufficiency or insufficiency of one’s traveling companion, it’s a way of having interesting experiences you almost certainly wouldn’t or couldn’t have otherwise, encountering new and interesting ideas and people, and possibly making new friends. As a practice, it has yielded untold benefits for me, me and my husband, my parents, and many others we know. I offer the advice based on those experiences, and on the fact that I don’t think it occurs to many people, or is difficult for many, particular now (sadly, to me) that various electronics tend to keep us isolated from making connections.
But if it’s not your cup of tea, no skin off my nose.
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