Asparagus - Help Needed

Does anyone have any good recipes to share with Corey?

A Belgian chef once told me that white asparagus are for people, while green asparagus are for livestock.

Happy to be of service.

Is he really crying?

shoulda been…

Wait for it to come into season?

Tooch hates me. Clearly, he roofied my drink to distract me from my appointed duties.

Well those were clearly murdered.
I toss in olive oil, balsamic, salt and pepper then on the grill with the cover down, turning a couple of times. Finish with a little more olive and a balsamic glaze.
Toss in olive oil, soy sauce toasted sesame oil, red pepper flakes and a tiny bit of grated ginger. Reserving the marinade grill as above then return to the marinade and toss with toasted sesame seeds.
Buy an asparagus pot. I resisted for ages and now use all the time. couple of inches of salted water asparagus cut to proper length salt the tips (which will only steam) then cook until tender. remove and add butter or a gorgonzola compound butter or hollandaise.
Asparagus soup and risotto are both classic and easy, particularly if you use Ina’s method of oven risotto.
Sometimes i just separate them into thirds, bottom third into a skillet with butter, cover wait a couple of minutes then next third, then a couple of minutes then tips. Done.
I cook asparagus several times a week because after my cancer treatments it is one of the vegetables that is easy to eat.

Note: I grill on my egg or on a weber. You can do all the above on an indoor grill, just have an aluminum pan or a mixing bowl to put over them to generate some steam.

Asparicide! What’s the penalty?

Cut off a third of the stem and peel another third. If you have a steam convection oven, do them in there and then blanch in ice water, then serve with a thick mustard vinaigrette or other such sauce. Or steam via another method. Or grill like others have said, or roast in the oven with olive oil. Serve with a poached egg and miso butter, if you want to get fancy.

But most important is Russell’s advice - wait until they are in season. Right now, around here, they are from Peru and taste like cardboard.

Public humiliation, apparently.

Given your current avatar, I’d say self-humiliation!

I have a simple recipe that I really enjoy. I mix the asparagus with some olive oil and fresh crushed garlic. Then I grill the asparagus on the barbecue approximally five minutes on each side. When serving, I finished the asparagus With a little truffle salt. The nuttiness of the truffle salt seems to really enhance the flavors of the grilled asparagus.

Our favorite is to do in a hot skillet with clarified butter until seared and charred slightly with a good dose of salt. For a crowd, blanch first and dry and then do the searing at the last minute before service. Mike

That’s the recipe he used, but he substituted lighter fluid for the olive oil and white phosphorus for the garlic.

My only tip, if they don’t taste amazing after steaming alone after 4 minutes you are on a fool’s errand. No amount of lipstick will be worth that pig.

You had ONE job.

An acetylene torch is appropriate for incinerating Chicago ‘deep dish pizza’ but not for cooking asparagus, even green asparagus (cattle eat them raw).

Immolation begets humiliation

Thread drift. That looks like a nice gas range top. What brand is it?

But charred is next to Gawd…