Did anyone read Parker's latest screed?

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Did anyone read Parker's latest screed?

Post #1  Postby A. Mishaan » January 21st 2014, 12:25pm

I'm surprised there's no thread on this (that I saw anyhow). I guess it's behind the paywall, but here is a very small excerpt (totally fair use):

Most recently we had the low alcohol movement (I'm not sure if one can even call it a "movement"), which is/was essentially a phony anti-California, anti-New World movement by Eurocentric, self-proclaimed purists. I say "self-proclaimed" because what they espouse - and denounce - perverts the word "pure". This has been spurred on by a very tiny group of wine producers who claim Europe as their spiritual mentor, which would be fine were it not for the fact that the along the way, they virtually trash just about everything in the USA, South America or Australia. Their preferred method of wine production is the crazy notion that fruit should be picked long before it's ripe. Of course, anyone can pick grapes a month before they're ripe. There is no risk, with chances of rain virtually zero. Get the grapes harvested and fermented and go on vacation in early October, when the serious producers are just beginning to start their harvests. Are those producers fools for busting their asses trying to make something with flavors reflecting the vintage and character of their terroir? Under-ripe fruit never has and never will show more terroir. It just brings hard, harsh, unpleasant flavors that a few wannabes and some lazy, self-aggrandizing producers then call terroir. Truth be known, it detracts from terroir, and from quality, so just repeating it ad nauseum doesn't equate to the truth. Has anyone enjoyed eating an under-ripe apricot, peach apple, tomato or pineapple?

But, even these Euro-elitists have it wrong. They often quote from ancient texts. How do they explain the following extract from the late Richard Olney's book, "Romanée-Conti - The World's Most Fabled Wine", published in 1995 by Rizzoli International Publications, New York, New York. Page 79 contains this passage regarding the diary notes of the estate's proprietor:

This is from the diary notes at Romanée-Conti by the proprietor J.-M. Duvault-Blochet, who published vintage notes for 47 years, from 1822 to 1868. He defined quality as, "At 11.5% one makes barely passable wines, at 12% one makes decent, marketable wines, at 12.5% above average, at 12.75% lively, firm and ruby, at 13% and 13.5% one makes great wines, at 14, 14.5, 15 and 15.5% one makes altogether exceptional, incomparable wines."

Why is it that nearly 150 years ago the proprietor of the world's most famous vineyard then (and probably now) knew more about quality than today's neo-intellectuals and extremists? Moreover, what about some sommeliers and retail wine buyers who refuse to purchase any wine in excess of 13 or 14% alcohol. How would the broad litmus test fare in the mid-1800s with the wines of Domaine de la Romanée Conti? Sommeliers following such nonsense would have wine enthusiasts drinking "barely passable" wines.


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Did anyone read Parker's latest screed?

Post #2  Postby todd waldmann » January 21st 2014, 12:29pm

I enjoy Mr. Parker's binary world view.
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Post #3  Postby M. Linzbach » January 21st 2014, 12:30pm

I'm not sure Bob wrote this as there are not enough "..." in the post. newhere
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Post #4  Postby John Morris » January 21st 2014, 12:36pm

Are we a bit bitter, Bob? Whoa!

FYI, there were LONG discussions on the Parker board years back about the Duvault-Blochet quote. Alcohol measurements in his day were VERY approximate, so you can't put much weight on that statement.
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Post #5  Postby A. Mishaan » January 21st 2014, 12:37pm

I realized I forgot to include an example of the fascist imagery that appears more than once:

Of course, they would have you believe some godforsaken grapes that, in hundreds and hundreds of years of viticulture, wine consumption, etc., have never gotten traction because they are rarely of interest (such as Trousseau, Savagnin, Grand Noir, Negrette, Lignan Blanc, Peloursin, Auban, Calet, Fongoneu and Blaufrankisch) can produce wines (in truth, rarely palatable unless lost in a larger blend) that consumers should be beating a path to buy and drink. Most aren't, and just how absurd this notion is becomes evident when the results are oxidized, stale, stink of fecal matter as well as look like orange juice or rusty ice tea being poured into a glass and passed off as "authentic", "natural" or "real" wine. This is the epitome of cyber-group goose-stepping, a completely deranged syndrome that somehow the internet has allowed to persist.
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Post #6  Postby Larry P » January 21st 2014, 12:41pm

I think this stuff is best left for the deaf ears of the ebob board.
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Post #7  Postby A. Mishaan » January 21st 2014, 12:42pm

Larry P wrote:I think this stuff is best left for the deaf ears of the ebob board.


Come on, it's funny.
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Post #8  Postby Anton D » January 21st 2014, 12:44pm

Bob likes raisins, I like grapes.
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Post #9  Postby Mark J. Boldizsar » January 21st 2014, 12:50pm

Can we extrapolate that Parker despises Champagne as it is a non-fortified wine that never exceeds 13% abv?
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Post #10  Postby Pat Martin » January 21st 2014, 12:52pm

Who is this guy and what did he do with Bob Parker?

Or was he always this angry and delusional, but kept it mostly to himself as he was the sole owner of the WA?
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Post #11  Postby John Morris » January 21st 2014, 12:54pm

Rereading his description and list of grapes, it sounds like the guiding philosophy of Chambers St., Crush and Flatiron.
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Post #12  Postby Michael Powers » January 21st 2014, 12:58pm

"Their preferred method of wine production is the crazy notion that fruit should be picked long before it's ripe. Of course, anyone can pick grapes a month before they're ripe. There is no risk, with chances of rain virtually zero. Get the grapes harvested and fermented and go on vacation in early October, when the serious producers are just beginning to start their harvests."

Pretty sure no one has ever suggested harvesting fruit "long before it's ripe." Must be nice to just redraw a line and make everyone else's argument "extremist."

Is this the same rant from a couple of months ago? He railed against what he percieves as fringe grapes not that long ago, and commented that a "real man" wouldn't drink wines made from those grapes. Leaving the reader to infer that Bob was a real man. If alcohol content makes the man, why bother with wine at all? Cut straight to the hard stuff and skip all this foreplay.

Bob's idea of hell must be some time spent in the Jura, with his professed hatred of Trousseau and Savagnin. I've never had a Calet or a Lignan blanc, but I suspect I should try to find some based on his statements. I've certainly had nice trousseau, savignin and blaufrankish.

In the end its always the same with this guy: More is always better, less is not only bad but rather a personal afront on all that is good and proper.
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Post #13  Postby John Morris » January 21st 2014, 1:13pm

Can you say "straw man"?

Of course, yesterday's fringe grape is today's great grape. A generation ago in the English-speaking world, very few grapes from outside France ever got any kind of respect outside of obscure reference works.
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Post #14  Postby brodie thomson » January 21st 2014, 1:18pm

John Morris wrote:Can you say "straw man"?.


Yes and I was thinking FALSE DICHOTOMY as well.

(ooh I love using "false dichotomy" in a sentence [wow.gif] )

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Post #15  Postby Richard T r i m p i » January 21st 2014, 1:33pm

The bitterness is nothing new. He's suffered a huge amount of criticism over the past several years. The man helped raise American awareness about fine wines beyond any predecessor. Will he someday let the hostility go and embrace the fact that his preferences may not suit everyone? Can a wine be great, or even good, unless he or a WA employee says so? It's Bob and disciples vs. the forces of evil. Sadly, the definition of evil appears to have swept up a lot independent wine lovers along with unscrupulous ITBers, profiteering pseudo-journalists, blobbers and natural wine extremists.

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Post #16  Postby dbailey » January 21st 2014, 1:40pm

Classic example of why posting when drunk is a bad idea.
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Post #17  Postby Jay Miller » January 21st 2014, 1:40pm

Nice to know I'm not missing anything over there.
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Post #18  Postby G. Bienstock » January 21st 2014, 1:46pm

There is ripe fruit and then there is overripe fruit. I like the former he likes the latter and Parker is no longer of use to me.
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Post #19  Postby John Morris » January 21st 2014, 1:57pm

Richard T r i m p i wrote:The bitterness is nothing new. He's suffered a huge amount of criticism over the past several years. The man helped raise American awareness about fine wines beyond any predecessor. Will he someday let the hostility go and embrace the fact that his preferences may not suit everyone? Can a wine be great, or even good, unless he or a WA employee says so? It's Bob and disciples vs. the forces of evil. Sadly, the definition of evil appears to have swept up a lot independent wine lovers along with unscrupulous ITBers, profiteering pseudo-journalists, blobbers and natural wine extremists.

RT


You get the feeling that Asimov's columns are really getting to him, don't you?
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Post #20  Postby John Morris » January 21st 2014, 1:59pm

dbailey wrote:Classic example of why posting when drunk is a bad idea.


He's not that coherent when he posts after drinking, Dan. By contrast, this looks carefully honed.
Last edited by John Morris on January 21st 2014, 3:22pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post #21  Postby Larry P » January 21st 2014, 1:59pm

A. Mishaan wrote:
Larry P wrote:I think this stuff is best left for the deaf ears of the ebob board.


Come on, it's funny.


Might seem funny at first, but after a while, it's just sad.
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Post #22  Postby David M. Bueker » January 21st 2014, 2:10pm

Michael Powers wrote:Bob's idea of hell must be some time spent in the Jura


Not just Bob.
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Post #23  Postby Chris Seiber » January 21st 2014, 2:26pm

That frankly sounds about like most of the AFWE rants about "Parkerized, blueberry milkshake, score whores, vodka kool aid, blah blah blah" wines, just on the opposite side of the argument.

To me, the beauty of wine is the infinite different expressions of all the different grapes, from different harvest times, to different terroir and climate, to different winemaking techniques, to different vintages, at different ages, etc. And those of us who collect a diverse cellar of good wines in many styles, we get to experience the diversity and the ability to match wines to mood, company, food, weather, time of day, etc.

I have never understood people on either side of the spectrum who think this is some kind of either/or, us versus them, thing, like you're a Michigan fan or you're an Ohio State fan. Like you have to exalt one thing and tear the others down. Drink what you like, by all means, but this isn't some kind of tribal war of us against them.
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Post #24  Postby Jay Miller » January 21st 2014, 2:35pm

Chris Seiber wrote:That frankly sounds about like most of the AFWE rants about "Parkerized, blueberry milkshake, score whores, vodka kool aid, blah blah blah" wines, just on the opposite side of the argument.

To me, the beauty of wine is the infinite different expressions of all the different grapes, from different harvest times, to different terroir and climate, to different winemaking techniques, to different vintages, at different ages, etc. And those of us who collect a diverse cellar of good wines in many styles, we get to experience the diversity and the ability to match wines to mood, company, food, weather, time of day, etc.

I have never understood people on either side of the spectrum who think this is some kind of either/or, us versus them, thing, like you're a Michigan fan or you're an Ohio State fan. Like you have to exalt one thing and tear the others down. Drink what you like, by all means, but this isn't some kind of tribal war of us against them.


The difference is, once again, that he is not just saying that he hates (for example) Trousseau but is attacking anyone who claims to like it.

FWIW the first Trousseau I had was a CA wine which I loved - the 1998 Wild Horse Trousseau San Benito Siletto Ranch Vineyard. I ended up trying trousseaus from the Jura as a result once I discovered how excessively rare the CA versions were.
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Post #25  Postby Rama Roberts » January 21st 2014, 2:48pm

todd waldmann wrote:I enjoy Mr. Parker's binary world view.


Is this different from Jon Bonne, just on the opposite side of the world?
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Post #26  Postby Andrew Kaufman » January 21st 2014, 3:08pm

Rama Roberts wrote:
todd waldmann wrote:I enjoy Mr. Parker's binary world view.


Is this different from Jon Bonne, just on the opposite side of the world?


I was thinking the same thing.
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Post #27  Postby David M. Bueker » January 21st 2014, 3:39pm

Andrew Kaufman wrote:
Rama Roberts wrote:
todd waldmann wrote:I enjoy Mr. Parker's binary world view.


Is this different from Jon Bonne, just on the opposite side of the world?


I was thinking the same thing.


Of course it's different. A majority of active posters here agree with John Bonne. [snort.gif]
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Post #28  Postby Scott Brunson » January 21st 2014, 3:40pm

Paging Bill Klapp--we have a nice, fat matzo ball hanging out there for you.
I'm not anti-RMP but this drivel is just sad and pathetic.
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Post #29  Postby john holdredge » January 21st 2014, 3:42pm

Chris Seiber wrote:That frankly sounds about like most of the AFWE rants about "Parkerized, blueberry milkshake, score whores, vodka kool aid, blah blah blah" wines, just on the opposite side of the argument.

To me, the beauty of wine is the infinite different expressions of all the different grapes, from different harvest times, to different terroir and climate, to different winemaking techniques, to different vintages, at different ages, etc. And those of us who collect a diverse cellar of good wines in many styles, we get to experience the diversity and the ability to match wines to mood, company, food, weather, time of day, etc.

I have never understood people on either side of the spectrum who think this is some kind of either/or, us versus them, thing, like you're a Michigan fan or you're an Ohio State fan. Like you have to exalt one thing and tear the others down. Drink what you like, by all means, but this isn't some kind of tribal war of us against them.



f*ck Ohio State.
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Post #30  Postby Alan C h a n » January 21st 2014, 3:57pm

Regarding Parker... yawn.

As for those debating the Asimov/Bonne/AFWE vs Parker/pro-ripeness "camps", I would just advise: it's really nice when you reach the point where you know what you think is right, but you've decided to stop fighting with people on the Intenet about it.
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Post #31  Postby kylemittskus » January 21st 2014, 4:04pm

Chris Seiber wrote:That frankly sounds about like most of the AFWE rants about "Parkerized, blueberry milkshake, score whores, vodka kool aid, blah blah blah" wines, just on the opposite side of the argument.


Bravo!!!! HUGE +1!
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Post #32  Postby M.Kaplan » January 21st 2014, 4:05pm

Sometimes, a picture really is worth a thousand words


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Post #33  Postby kylemittskus » January 21st 2014, 4:07pm

Jay Miller wrote:
Chris Seiber wrote:Snipped for space.


The difference is, once again, that he is not just saying that he hates (for example) Trousseau but is attacking anyone who claims to like it.


Jay, I'm not sure you know what "difference" means.
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Post #34  Postby Ken V » January 21st 2014, 4:22pm

M. Linzbach wrote:I'm not sure Bob wrote this as there are not enough "..." in the post. newhere

dbailey wrote:Classic example of why posting when drunk is a bad idea.

Just to be clear, this was NOT a post on the Squires board, but rather it is an "Article of Merit" on eRP.com.

So this is not something he wrote off the top of his head.
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Post #35  Postby Bill Klapp » January 21st 2014, 4:24pm

Scott Brunson wrote:Paging Bill Klapp--we have a nice, fat matzo ball hanging out there for you.
I'm not anti-RMP but this drivel is just sad and pathetic.


Somebody sent me the piece, and I started to post it and then dismantle it sentence by sentence. I decided that his brain is now so addled that it would not even be a challenge. Like shooting Russ and Daughters smoked fish in barrique...

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